Hello. I’ve been an active member for 5 years. I try my best to keep the commandments. I’ve grown spiritually and have learned a lot. In fact, I want to be a sister missionary. But ever since I was very young, I’ve had problems with pornography. I’ve tried to abandon it and repent, but I continue to have occasional problems. I know that what I’m doing is very wrong. But after I do it, I don’t feel guilty. I only think about what I’ll have to do in the coming weeks to bring the Spirit back into my life. I’ve put filters on my computer to avoid it. But I end up finding a way around them. What can I do? My patriarchal blessing says that I’ll be blessed if I flee from sin. I know that I’m offending the Lord and that I need to overcome this addiction. How can I free myself from this sin and never return to it? I certainly don’t want to continue to have this problem after I’m married, for example. Please help me!
One Response to “I want to be a sister missionary, but I struggle with pornography”
Felipe Delgado
2013-12-29 16:48:13
A life of sin can be cleansed and changed through the Atonement of Jesus Christ.
Hi sister. Thanks for your question. I receive a number of emails from people who struggle with pornography addiction. Of all who write me, it seems the ones who are exposed to pornography at a very young age are the most troubled. Young minds are so impressionable. All too often people become addicted to this sort of thing when they are young and stupid. Then they grow up and recognize the damage it does, but have a very hard time freeing themselves from the addiction. This seems to be your situation. I'm happy, at least, that you're motivated enough to recognize the importance of overcoming this evil.
I think you don't feel guilty because you've understandably become desensitized to this sin. I suggest the following two steps:
1) First, you need to focus on your spiritual recovery. Chat with your Bishop about these challenges you're facing. Tell him you were exposed to these things when you were young and that you're now struggling to overcome the addiction. Your Bishop will help you apply Christ's atonement in your life so you can overcome the spiritual consequences of your sins.
2) Second, you need to focus on your psychological recovery. Since you seem to be truly addicted, you should find a psychologist who understands and respects our Mormon beliefs. Addiction is a very real, biochemical phenomenon, not just a simple lack of willpower. You will certainly need help to conquer these challenges.
I think you don't feel guilty because you've understandably become desensitized to this sin. I suggest the following two steps:
1) First, you need to focus on your spiritual recovery. Chat with your Bishop about these challenges you're facing. Tell him you were exposed to these things when you were young and that you're now struggling to overcome the addiction. Your Bishop will help you apply Christ's atonement in your life so you can overcome the spiritual consequences of your sins.
2) Second, you need to focus on your psychological recovery. Since you seem to be truly addicted, you should find a psychologist who understands and respects our Mormon beliefs. Addiction is a very real, biochemical phenomenon, not just a simple lack of willpower. You will certainly need help to conquer these challenges.
I recently wrote an article about how to overcome serious sin that might help you. The church also has a great manual to help people with addictions. Perhaps your Bishop could provide you with a physical copy if you don't want to read it online.
I hope this answer helps and that you get all the support you need. Best of luck.