I suffer from bipolar and have for the past 50 years. I think finallly after spending 4 months in the state hospital, 1 month of electrical shock and my prayers, temple prayers and three priesthood blessing I am able to function quite well at this time.
None will tell me if my mmental illness is caused by a chemical imbalance of the brain or is it of satan and I am beieng punished for something? My grandmother was bipoar as well as my mom, me, and my oldest son.
When I go down to the bottomless pit of the deepest, unexplainabe depression, I hurt myself. Am I going to go to hell because of this or will Heavenly Father give me special consideration because of my affliction and be saved by the atonement? My bishop keeps his distance from me so I am not comfortable with discussing this with him.
8 Responses to “I suffer from bipolar and have for the past 50 years. I thin…”
Francisco Rios
2008-06-01 21:56:30
Hi friend,
Thank you for your recent email. Your story really touched me.
I was sorry to hear that your bishop "keeps his distance." Of the many, many advantages that come from having an unpaid, non-professional clergy, this is perhaps one of the few disadvantages: members of the Mormon clergy are often not trained in how to deal with mental illness. Despite this lack of training, many nevertheless do an excellent job administrating to the mentally ill members of their congregations. Some, though, don't know how to help. This is unfortunate. Perhaps you could try speaking with your Stake President?
I was happy to hear that your current treatment regiment allows you to function normally. I cannot emphasize enough the importance of following your doctor's recommendations. When treatments work, many patients reasonably believe they are "cured" and stop taking their medication. Do not make this mistake!
Bipolar disorder, like other forms of mental illness, is generally a physical condition, not a spiritual condition. Satan does not cause bipolar disorder, but he can take advantage of those who so suffer, "kicking them while they're down" by convincing them that they are worthless, unworthy, or evil. Bipolar disorder is a "thorn in the flesh" like Paul described, not a punishment for sin.
Every person has some personal responsibility for his or her actions, but God does not expect us to be perfect. He only expects us to do our best. "Our best" varies according to our personal circumstances. Someone with bipolar disorder may behave in ways that are beyond their control. God understands that challenge. As with all of us, God the Son makes up the difference for our weaknesses. Try your best to follow Christ's example, friend. Like the rest of us, repent when you make mistakes and recognize when things are beyond your control. If you put your faith in Christ and try your best to follow Him, He'll make up the difference for any of your failings. That's as true for you as it is for the rest of us.
The Church recently published an article in the Ensign about mental illness. It's entitled "Myths about Mental Illness." You might find it interesting.
Best of luck!
Anonymous
2008-06-30 05:50:47
You stated "none will tell me if my mmental illness is caused by a chemical imbalance of the brain or is it of Satan and I am beieng punished for something?"
Most likely it is a chemical imbalance in the brain and probably Satan trying to drag you down further then you need to be dragged. Back in 2003 I spent at least a good month in the hospital for immune system reactions to a spider bite, and I thought the same type of thoughts for a long time.
Then when I got out of the hospital and started studying more the gospel I dicovered a few things about these type of mortal problems:
1. Jesus, our Savior, knows what it is like to go through what you are going through. He, in fact, felt a weight and pain much, much more then you or I or all of us combined do feel. I've come to look on my, now 5+ years, of pain and dificulty as a way to feel a very small amount of pain as did my Savior. I'm sorry that you are now on 50+ years worth, I'm sure that when I get to that point I'll be about sick of my sickness even more. But I will alway remember that Jesus is there and did suffer much more then I ever will, even after 50, or even 75-100 years. In my times of heavy suffering and beating myself up or feeling down I try to remember 1 scripture 2 Nephi 2:2 given in part here- "... Thou knowest the greatness of God; and he shall consecrate thine afflictions for thy gain." I find hope in those words in that whatever I am asked to go through here in this life, will be made up to me as long as I just keep the hope and faith that one day I'll be ok.
2. Satan likes to kick people when their down, and unfortunatly unless you ask specifically and constantly, Heavenly Father allows Satan his agency just like he allows us to use ours. So I suggest using your agency and praying constanly, with a hope and knowing God has the power to cast the devil away, that the devils will leave you alone. Also upon that I would ask your bishop or home teachers, constantly, for blessing of that nature. For streangth to endure, and for evil to be far from you.... A great help would be to lose yourself in the study of the scripture, especially the Book of Mormon. When you have the spirit with you, Satan doesn't enjoy being there. He'll still attempt to creep in though, so just tell him to leave. (Like a light turned on in a dark room, the shadows flee and cower in the corners)
3. God is very patient and only tries us in this life if it is for our own good, ie turning us again to him so he can save. We read in John chapter 8 about the woman taken in adultary and Jesus not forgiving her right there, but offering her another chance to use her agency and choose a better path. We also read in many scriptures with Jesus' plea to all to come unto him and as a chicken gathering her chicks under her wing for protection, Jesus will gather and protect us. We also see here that God does love you a lot if he is giving you a special trial to get you back to him. Sorry that trials are hard but I refere to the end of point 2.
Don't give up my sibling because there are no losers in this life, only quitters, as long as we are wanting to try, and doing your best at trying, through Jesus we will be all be saved in a measure better then this life.
Webmaster: Excellent answer!
Anonymous
2008-10-27 02:22:08
Most people keep their distance from you when they do not know what to do. I think social services might be a better option for you.
Bipolar is genetic. Satan did not form your body. It is a condition of mortality. My brother has rapid cycling bipolar and is totally disabled. If he is able to start something, he is incapable of finishing it.
God comes into play on how you handle yourself. You take your medications, you do not self medicate with coffee, drugs, alcohol as most bipolar people do which does violate your temple covenants. Work with a friend to help you when you are going in and out of manic and depressive states. Learn to work with people. Have a friend or family member watch you and make a plan on what you want to do to help you not hurt yourself when you are in the pit of despair. Have daily contact with someone and a plan to commit yourself when you are about to hurt yourself with written instructions.
But most of all, hang in there. Everyone goes through enormous challenges if only to find the angels and God within our lives. You cannot pray yourself out of bipolar. You are looking for a reason why you and your family have bipolar disease. I have always thought that it was because you were so sucessful in your premortal state that you did not rely on others as we need to to provide a cohesive group. Will that work as an explanation? Instead of looking at what you did wrong, look at what you need to learn.
Now will you be punished for having a mental illness? If you are not in a rational state of mind, then how can you make a choice? You are having a reaction to your illness, not a choice. We can only be judged on our choices that we make with free will. My brother is physically disabled by acting on his bipolar in manic and depressive stages. Would you judge him or your son to be bad and worthy of hell?
Webmaster: Very well put.
Anonymous
2013-11-08 14:04:02
Sometimes it feels like Satan has taken me over. In the last 30+ years I have counciled with several Bishops. Most of them have been very good to work with and I have been assured that I was not possessed. My High Priests group have always been there for me. Each week we have lunch together and go to a temple session. I am included in many service projects. Group members come by or call me every day. What all this leads up to is if you reach out to members of your quorum or group you will find a support system is already in place. Share your feelings and your ups and downs, you will be blessed if you do.
This is not a cure but it has helped me when I didn't feel that life was not worth living.
Francisco Rios: Dear Anonymous. It's so good of you to reach out to others who suffer from bipolar disorder just as you do. I'm so happy to hear you've found support in the church. It makes me smile when I learn about stories like yours, stories where the church really works like God meant it to work. :) God bless you, brother.
Anonymous
2008-06-21 08:01:25
Heavenly Father must have a special place in his heart for you and your hurt its wonderful you are in church to try to heal and maintain the bishop is just a man and youll have to tell him how you feel they wont search you out if you dont want to talk but they will be kind to you if you do life hurts so much you may feel happy when your involved with church this is the unexplainable happiness that you see others have who have the Holy Spirit have the missionaries come over for dinner both you and they will feel angels I'll pray for you
Anonymous
2010-02-06 06:48:05
I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder 30 years ago. I had joined the LDS church in 1972 and served a two year mission. To answer your question-no, Satan did not cause your bipolar condition. It is a chemical imbalance that happens to occur in the brain. You are not being punished so please don't even think that. Bishops do not have the professional training to counsel you or anybody for that matter relative to this disorder. They can only help with spiritual concerns. You need to seek out a competent professional to help you.
Pamela Bonta
2014-03-31 07:45:22
Mental illness can be very disheartening for those who suffer from them. The Church does not teach that mental illness is a punishment or a form of possession. There have been some excellent articles written about the subject on LDS.org. My personal favourite is this one.
John
2013-11-11 07:39:20
For members of the church, Jesus Christ is the divine Son of God, our Savior and Redeemer through whom salvation is made possible. (Reflections of Christ)
That is a tremendous challenge that you have battled for so many years! I can understand that you have wondered what the cause could be, and whether it was some kind of punishment. I think that a story about the Savior will help show that it is not because you have done anything wrong. You did not receive this affliction as a punishment. The story I wish to share comes from John 9:1-3:
"1 And as Jesus passed by, he saw a man which was blind from his birth.
2 And his disciples asked him, saying, Master, who did sin, this man, or his parents, that he was born blind?
3 Jesus answered, Neither hath this man sinned, nor his parents: but that the works of God should be made manifest in him."
The disciples saw the man's trial and assumed that there was someone to blame, that someone had to have committed a sin to bring this condition on him. However, the Savior taught them an important lesson: many trials are ultimately a way for God to show forth His love and power. The Savior healed the man, and the man shared a strong testimony with those around him.
You may or may not find complete relief from your affliction in this life. However, I know that you will find healing and strength through the Savior as you seek Him. You can be a powerful force for inspiring others and sharing a testimony of the Master, Jesus Christ. I pray that you will feel His incredible love for you. God bless you!
Thank you for your recent email. Your story really touched me.
I was sorry to hear that your bishop "keeps his distance." Of the many, many advantages that come from having an unpaid, non-professional clergy, this is perhaps one of the few disadvantages: members of the Mormon clergy are often not trained in how to deal with mental illness. Despite this lack of training, many nevertheless do an excellent job administrating to the mentally ill members of their congregations. Some, though, don't know how to help. This is unfortunate. Perhaps you could try speaking with your Stake President?
I was happy to hear that your current treatment regiment allows you to function normally. I cannot emphasize enough the importance of following your doctor's recommendations. When treatments work, many patients reasonably believe they are "cured" and stop taking their medication. Do not make this mistake!
Bipolar disorder, like other forms of mental illness, is generally a physical condition, not a spiritual condition. Satan does not cause bipolar disorder, but he can take advantage of those who so suffer, "kicking them while they're down" by convincing them that they are worthless, unworthy, or evil. Bipolar disorder is a "thorn in the flesh" like Paul described, not a punishment for sin.
Every person has some personal responsibility for his or her actions, but God does not expect us to be perfect. He only expects us to do our best. "Our best" varies according to our personal circumstances. Someone with bipolar disorder may behave in ways that are beyond their control. God understands that challenge. As with all of us, God the Son makes up the difference for our weaknesses. Try your best to follow Christ's example, friend. Like the rest of us, repent when you make mistakes and recognize when things are beyond your control. If you put your faith in Christ and try your best to follow Him, He'll make up the difference for any of your failings. That's as true for you as it is for the rest of us.
The Church recently published an article in the Ensign about mental illness. It's entitled "Myths about Mental Illness." You might find it interesting.
Best of luck!
Most likely it is a chemical imbalance in the brain and probably Satan trying to drag you down further then you need to be dragged. Back in 2003 I spent at least a good month in the hospital for immune system reactions to a spider bite, and I thought the same type of thoughts for a long time.
Then when I got out of the hospital and started studying more the gospel I dicovered a few things about these type of mortal problems:
1. Jesus, our Savior, knows what it is like to go through what you are going through. He, in fact, felt a weight and pain much, much more then you or I or all of us combined do feel. I've come to look on my, now 5+ years, of pain and dificulty as a way to feel a very small amount of pain as did my Savior. I'm sorry that you are now on 50+ years worth, I'm sure that when I get to that point I'll be about sick of my sickness even more. But I will alway remember that Jesus is there and did suffer much more then I ever will, even after 50, or even 75-100 years. In my times of heavy suffering and beating myself up or feeling down I try to remember 1 scripture 2 Nephi 2:2 given in part here- "... Thou knowest the greatness of God; and he shall consecrate thine afflictions for thy gain." I find hope in those words in that whatever I am asked to go through here in this life, will be made up to me as long as I just keep the hope and faith that one day I'll be ok.
2. Satan likes to kick people when their down, and unfortunatly unless you ask specifically and constantly, Heavenly Father allows Satan his agency just like he allows us to use ours. So I suggest using your agency and praying constanly, with a hope and knowing God has the power to cast the devil away, that the devils will leave you alone. Also upon that I would ask your bishop or home teachers, constantly, for blessing of that nature. For streangth to endure, and for evil to be far from you.... A great help would be to lose yourself in the study of the scripture, especially the Book of Mormon. When you have the spirit with you, Satan doesn't enjoy being there. He'll still attempt to creep in though, so just tell him to leave. (Like a light turned on in a dark room, the shadows flee and cower in the corners)
3. God is very patient and only tries us in this life if it is for our own good, ie turning us again to him so he can save. We read in John chapter 8 about the woman taken in adultary and Jesus not forgiving her right there, but offering her another chance to use her agency and choose a better path. We also read in many scriptures with Jesus' plea to all to come unto him and as a chicken gathering her chicks under her wing for protection, Jesus will gather and protect us. We also see here that God does love you a lot if he is giving you a special trial to get you back to him. Sorry that trials are hard but I refere to the end of point 2.
Don't give up my sibling because there are no losers in this life, only quitters, as long as we are wanting to try, and doing your best at trying, through Jesus we will be all be saved in a measure better then this life.
Webmaster: Excellent answer!
Bipolar is genetic. Satan did not form your body. It is a condition of mortality. My brother has rapid cycling bipolar and is totally disabled. If he is able to start something, he is incapable of finishing it.
God comes into play on how you handle yourself. You take your medications, you do not self medicate with coffee, drugs, alcohol as most bipolar people do which does violate your temple covenants. Work with a friend to help you when you are going in and out of manic and depressive states. Learn to work with people. Have a friend or family member watch you and make a plan on what you want to do to help you not hurt yourself when you are in the pit of despair. Have daily contact with someone and a plan to commit yourself when you are about to hurt yourself with written instructions.
But most of all, hang in there. Everyone goes through enormous challenges if only to find the angels and God within our lives. You cannot pray yourself out of bipolar. You are looking for a reason why you and your family have bipolar disease. I have always thought that it was because you were so sucessful in your premortal state that you did not rely on others as we need to to provide a cohesive group. Will that work as an explanation? Instead of looking at what you did wrong, look at what you need to learn.
Now will you be punished for having a mental illness? If you are not in a rational state of mind, then how can you make a choice? You are having a reaction to your illness, not a choice. We can only be judged on our choices that we make with free will. My brother is physically disabled by acting on his bipolar in manic and depressive stages. Would you judge him or your son to be bad and worthy of hell?
Webmaster: Very well put.
This is not a cure but it has helped me when I didn't feel that life was not worth living.
Francisco Rios: Dear Anonymous. It's so good of you to reach out to others who suffer from bipolar disorder just as you do. I'm so happy to hear you've found support in the church. It makes me smile when I learn about stories like yours, stories where the church really works like God meant it to work. :) God bless you, brother.
"1 And as Jesus passed by, he saw a man which was blind from his birth.
2 And his disciples asked him, saying, Master, who did sin, this man, or his parents, that he was born blind?
3 Jesus answered, Neither hath this man sinned, nor his parents: but that the works of God should be made manifest in him."
The disciples saw the man's trial and assumed that there was someone to blame, that someone had to have committed a sin to bring this condition on him. However, the Savior taught them an important lesson: many trials are ultimately a way for God to show forth His love and power. The Savior healed the man, and the man shared a strong testimony with those around him.
You may or may not find complete relief from your affliction in this life. However, I know that you will find healing and strength through the Savior as you seek Him. You can be a powerful force for inspiring others and sharing a testimony of the Master, Jesus Christ. I pray that you will feel His incredible love for you. God bless you!