I was sealed six months ago. Before I got married, I knew my husband was addicted to pornography. I decided to forgive him, and he started the repentance process. He promised me that he would never do it again. But now he’s fallen into the old habits once again. I don’t know what to do. I’m in so much pain.
Hi sister. I'm very sorry to hear about these marriage struggles. Pornography does great damage to marriages, as you well know. I'll pray for you during these challenging times.
Elder Richard G. Scott recently said something that really caught my attention: "...the Lord sees weaknesses differently than He does rebellion. Whereas the Lord warns that unrepented rebellion will bring punishment, when the Lord speaks of weaknesses, it is always with mercy." Perhaps this same principle applies to your situation. If your husband is in open rebellion--if he has no desire to repent and intends to continue in this sin--it might be time for a blunt "intervention." He needs to understand just how destructive his behavior is to those who love him if he's ever going to have the strength to change.
On the other hand, perhaps this is weakness rather than open rebellion. If he has a desire to recover from this sin but struggles because of personal weakness, he could use your help. Speak openly about this challenge, get the bishop involved for support, and continue to encourage him to repent. If he has the desire to change, there's a chance for recovery.
Pamela Bonta
2014-12-01 06:13:51
Dear Sister, Addiction can be a long and painful thing to overcome. Your husband should probably be going to an Addiction Recovery Program, and the church has recently started programs for spouses and other loved one to help them get through it. I suggest you speak to your Bishop who can put you in contact with the ARP people in your area. You may also want to check out https://addictionrecovery.lds.org/?lang=eng .
Elder Richard G. Scott recently said something that really caught my attention: "...the Lord sees weaknesses differently than He does rebellion. Whereas the Lord warns that unrepented rebellion will bring punishment, when the Lord speaks of weaknesses, it is always with mercy." Perhaps this same principle applies to your situation. If your husband is in open rebellion--if he has no desire to repent and intends to continue in this sin--it might be time for a blunt "intervention." He needs to understand just how destructive his behavior is to those who love him if he's ever going to have the strength to change.
On the other hand, perhaps this is weakness rather than open rebellion. If he has a desire to recover from this sin but struggles because of personal weakness, he could use your help. Speak openly about this challenge, get the bishop involved for support, and continue to encourage him to repent. If he has the desire to change, there's a chance for recovery.