Hi brothers and sisters. Here’s what’s happened to me. My family have been members for 4 generations. I love the church and there is nothing that makes me prouder than my membership in this church. I’ve been dating a young man who’s not a member of our church. He does have similar principles, but not the same. We love each other and had plans to get married, but he says he will never leave his church, and I firmly told him that I would never leave mine. I told him I wanted to marry in the temple for all eternity. He said he understood, but that his family was going to be upset if he left his church, and he doesn’t want to anyway. I explained the reasons, I explained that a family that isn’t formed under the laws of God doesn’t work. I’m very sad, and I need some good advice. There is a young man serving a mission who told me that if things don’t work with my current boyfriend, he’d like to pursue a relationship. He is everything a LDS woman would want, but I don’t love him enough to marry him.
3 Responses to “What should I do? My boyfriends doesn’t want a temple marriage.”
Ricardo Ramos
2012-07-01 20:04:26
Members of the Church believe that marriages performed in temples are sealed, or blessed to last for eternity.
Hi Laura. It is difficult when romance develops between a Mormon and someone from another faith. Sister, I know it was difficult, but you made the right decision. Temple marriage is a very sacred thing, one of the most important ordinances in our church. If your boyfriend is unwilling to even investigate the church, eternal marriage does not appear to be his priority.
On the other hand, you should also perhaps proceed with caution as you get to know your return-missionary friend. Perhaps love can develop between you too. Perhaps further investigation is warranted. But attraction can facilitate love, especially in the beginning, and you don't seem to be very attracted to him. I'm certain God will guide you if you live worthy of that guidance. Best of luck.
Anonymous
2012-07-05 10:56:40
You have a difficult question. Your situation reminds me of the story of Abraham in the Old Testament - Genesis Chapter 22. The Lord told him to offer his only son Isaac as a sacrifice. Although he did not know why, he trusted in God.
At one point, Isaac asked, "Where is the lamb for a burnt offering". Abraham exhibited is faith in our Heavenly Father when he told Isaac: "My son, God will provide himself a lamb for a burnt offering"
I am sure the situation facing Abraham seemed very difficult, but he trusted God would bless him if he followed his guidance; and he did.
As you consider your decision, keep in mind that our Father in Heaven will bless you, probably in ways you cannot understand now, if you follow his guidance.
While you are not looking for a burnt offering, maybe our Father in Heaven knows of another prospect you do not currently know.
Anonymous
2012-07-16 05:54:50
Laura!
I just talked to my other friend named Laura today about something similar in her life...
Contine with your faith in Chirst that he will guide you. Missionary work can only go so far but if leaving the blessings of a temple marriage for someone you love becomes more important, more things may start become 'more important' as well
I have also dated non-members and things can be very difficult for sure, and dating is hard enough!
Know that the atonement is more than just for sin, but to provide a way for people to come closer to their father in Heaven when caught in perilous or stressful times. Keep the faith! And know that it is possible to love again.
I was told by an EFY instructor one time to look at Alma 32 and read it while replacing the word faith with love, and look at every seed as a potential seed of love. Then know that by planting and watering any seed it may grow to be something great. But comparing a potential spouse to someone you have not developed feelings for is a hard comparison and impossible for any new seed to win. If you decide to move on then know God is with you. And read alma 32 again, knowing that faith is for things hoped for and that a bright future is ahead.
"the future is as bright as your faith" -pres Monson
On the other hand, you should also perhaps proceed with caution as you get to know your return-missionary friend. Perhaps love can develop between you too. Perhaps further investigation is warranted. But attraction can facilitate love, especially in the beginning, and you don't seem to be very attracted to him. I'm certain God will guide you if you live worthy of that guidance. Best of luck.
At one point, Isaac asked, "Where is the lamb for a burnt offering". Abraham exhibited is faith in our Heavenly Father when he told Isaac: "My son, God will provide himself a lamb for a burnt offering"
I am sure the situation facing Abraham seemed very difficult, but he trusted God would bless him if he followed his guidance; and he did.
As you consider your decision, keep in mind that our Father in Heaven will bless you, probably in ways you cannot understand now, if you follow his guidance.
While you are not looking for a burnt offering, maybe our Father in Heaven knows of another prospect you do not currently know.
I just talked to my other friend named Laura today about something similar in her life...
Contine with your faith in Chirst that he will guide you. Missionary work can only go so far but if leaving the blessings of a temple marriage for someone you love becomes more important, more things may start become 'more important' as well
I have also dated non-members and things can be very difficult for sure, and dating is hard enough!
Know that the atonement is more than just for sin, but to provide a way for people to come closer to their father in Heaven when caught in perilous or stressful times. Keep the faith! And know that it is possible to love again.
I was told by an EFY instructor one time to look at Alma 32 and read it while replacing the word faith with love, and look at every seed as a potential seed of love. Then know that by planting and watering any seed it may grow to be something great. But comparing a potential spouse to someone you have not developed feelings for is a hard comparison and impossible for any new seed to win. If you decide to move on then know God is with you. And read alma 32 again, knowing that faith is for things hoped for and that a bright future is ahead.
"the future is as bright as your faith" -pres Monson
Good luck!