I’ve been a member of the church for 16 years, and I’ve been married for 13 years. My wife has asked me for a divorce, both actively and passively. I’ve been doing my best to convince her to stay, giving in to her demands, but this has not been enough for her. I know I need to improve in so many ways as a man and as a husband. I’ve made her suffer a lot because I haven’t treated her like the true queen that she is. I’ve been demanding, criticizing her a lot with my attitude. We’ve spoken with bishops and the stake president with bad results. Now my wife has taken to constantly reminding me that she doesn’t love me and that she’s only staying with me because of our children. I’m not sure if I can continue in this impossible situation.
Today and Sunday school she testified of the importance of honoring our parents. She mentioned that she had not listened to her own father and was now suffering the consequences because she had to be married to me. These kind of things break my heart and make me feel that my wife hates me. I’ve invited her often to come to the temple with me, but she refuses to go together. She has a good understanding of the Scriptures but I feel like she’s not applying them in her life. I’m praying for help, but I don’t know what to do. I decided to look on this forum for help. We’ve gone to a marriage counselor together, but she refused to go again after the first visit. If anyone can give me some advice, I could really use it. I know I need to fight for my marriage, but I feel like I’m reaching my spiritual limits. I love my heavenly father, I know this church is true, and that we have a living prophet. Thanks for your help.
One Response to “Hola soy miembro 16 años y llevo 13 años de casado, mi…”
Fernando Ramos
2012-08-06 12:07:54
Hi Nelson. I'm very sorry to hear your marriage is passing through these difficulties. It sounds like you have made some mistakes, brother. It's important that you repent of those mistakes and start to treat your wife right. The good news is that you recognize your mistakes. That's the first step on the path to repentance, so you're on your way. Pursue repentance with all your heart.
Your wife also needs to repent. I would describe her behavior as emotionally abusive. She no doubt thinks that she is somehow justified because of the mistakes you've made. However, our personal moral code should exist independent of the actions of others.
Unfortunately, you can't force another person to repent. You can only control your own attitudes and behavior. I know from personal experience that, even when another person behaves unjustly with us, we can find peace if we are able to say to ourselves that we have tried our best to do the right thing. Make your best effort, brother, and you'll find the same peace . I hope you're able to save your marriage. God bless you.
Your wife also needs to repent. I would describe her behavior as emotionally abusive. She no doubt thinks that she is somehow justified because of the mistakes you've made. However, our personal moral code should exist independent of the actions of others.
Unfortunately, you can't force another person to repent. You can only control your own attitudes and behavior. I know from personal experience that, even when another person behaves unjustly with us, we can find peace if we are able to say to ourselves that we have tried our best to do the right thing. Make your best effort, brother, and you'll find the same peace . I hope you're able to save your marriage. God bless you.