What can a person do who would like to be a Mormon but cannot satisfy the exact requirements about chastity? I am almost 60 years old and my partner for the last 3. 5 years is even older. We are legally, technically married to other people because we are the hard working folks who provide our parasitic former mates with health insurance. Without being legally married to them, we could not keep them insured. This situation will not be resolved for another few years, maybe as much as 5 more years. We are totally devoted to each other and exclusive mates to each other, but we don’t have a hope of getting married for at least another 5 years, if then. The Sunday School book I was recently given seems to condemn our relationship, and I can tell you right now that I will never give this man up over a technicality in a church. I am going to have to inform my missionaries that I regret, but I cannot be baptized for at least 5 more years. Is there any possible resolution? Thank you.
conversion
Anonymous from Baltimore, Maryland, United States,
4 Responses to “What can a person do who would like to be a Mormon but canno…”
Bruno Rubio
2011-12-19 07:00:09
Jesus Christ was Himself baptized in the Jordan river to provide an example for each of us. (Reflections of Christ)
Hi friend. I'm happy you're interested in joining the church. Being a member of this church has been a great blessing in my life. It's easy, given how busy the world is, to become so overwhelmed with the trivial that we are distracted from the profound. Being a member of this church has helped me and millions of others to focus on the profound, our relationship with God and the purpose of our existence. I hope you find these same blessings in the church.
I can certainly appreciate how difficult your situation is. In fact, I've met other couples in similar situations. However, the Mormon belief that sexual relations should only take place within the bonds of a legal matrimony is fundamental. I of course don't know the details of your situation, but if your respective former mates are "parasitic," as you say, why do you both feel responsible for maintaining them? I guess from my very limited perspective and familiarity with your situation, I just don't see what the impediment to marriage is at this point.
Regardless, even if you choose not to marry now, you're certainly welcome to continue worshiping with us. It's actually fairly common for people who can't be baptized to proceed as if they were already members of the church. Then, when you can get married (and five years is not that long), you'll be able to formalize your membership in the church through baptism. Five years of participation in church meetings and activities will certainly prepare you well for the ordinance of baptism!
Anonymous
2011-12-19 12:49:47
Dear Bruno Rubio,
Thank you very much for your thoughtful reply. I heard much the same answer from my missionaries just yesterday and I am very happy to know that I am welcome to attend and learn and participate while I wait for the day I can be baptized. I had the mistaken impression that if I could not be baptized, and very soon, that there was probably no place for me in the Mormon Church.
I have loved everything I have learned so far - which isn't that much because I am so new - but still. I am finding peace, happiness, and a sense of spirituality that I only glimpsed in the distant past and never enjoyed as I do today. Is this church perfect? No church is perfect. It's full of human beings and none of us is perfect. But this church makes more sense to me than anything I have heard before, and I am grateful to know that I can keep going and not be considered some kind of outcast.
The Church's missionary program is one of its most recognized characteristics.
Dear Anonymous, I'm very happy that you've cleared up this misconception and now recognize that you are still certainly welcome to worship with us. I loved how you described feelings of "peace, happiness, and a sense of spirituality." It's very gratifying to see someone who's just starting to learn about the Church express the same kinds of feelings that have blessed my life so richly. It's something like giving someone a tour of your home town... you see your old surroundings in a new light and have a renewed appreciation for them.
You are 100% right in recognizing that the members of the church are imperfect. Thankfully, Jesus Christ, who is at the head of the Church, is perfect, and the divine feelings of spiritual peace that come through Him are unlike any other earthly diversion.
During your process of learning more about the Church, you'll inevitably have additional questions. If you'd ever like any kind of explanation beyond what your missionaries offer, please don't hesitate to post your questions here. We're very happy to help. Best of luck.
Anonymous
2012-01-31 01:47:29
I'd like to offer another, and different perspective on your situation as you describe it. As I understand it let me rephrase your situation in other language.
You believe in the Saviour, Jesus Christ and his atoning sacrifice. You believe that this great sacrifice will save you from the effects on judgement day. However, you feel that it is OK to continue to cohabit, and put the effects and joy of a relationship with the Saviour, and risk dying in an unrepentant state for the sake of taking care of a person who needs health insurance. No one, including your missionaries can give you permission to postpone the day of your repentance.
I humbly submit that you are making a mistake to place the welfare of a former spouse ahead of your own salvation.
Of course, you will be genuinely welcome in Church Meetings, but you are depriving yourself of the blessings of the priesthood and the temple and are bargaining with God. My humble opinion is you are making a bad deal, and giving up far too much to keep an ex happy. I am not judging you, and would never say these things to you had you not posted your situation on a public forum.
Fasting and prayer and scripture study and consultation with your Bishop are the best things you can do to gain perspective
I can certainly appreciate how difficult your situation is. In fact, I've met other couples in similar situations. However, the Mormon belief that sexual relations should only take place within the bonds of a legal matrimony is fundamental. I of course don't know the details of your situation, but if your respective former mates are "parasitic," as you say, why do you both feel responsible for maintaining them? I guess from my very limited perspective and familiarity with your situation, I just don't see what the impediment to marriage is at this point.
Regardless, even if you choose not to marry now, you're certainly welcome to continue worshiping with us. It's actually fairly common for people who can't be baptized to proceed as if they were already members of the church. Then, when you can get married (and five years is not that long), you'll be able to formalize your membership in the church through baptism. Five years of participation in church meetings and activities will certainly prepare you well for the ordinance of baptism!
Thank you very much for your thoughtful reply. I heard much the same answer from my missionaries just yesterday and I am very happy to know that I am welcome to attend and learn and participate while I wait for the day I can be baptized. I had the mistaken impression that if I could not be baptized, and very soon, that there was probably no place for me in the Mormon Church.
I have loved everything I have learned so far - which isn't that much because I am so new - but still. I am finding peace, happiness, and a sense of spirituality that I only glimpsed in the distant past and never enjoyed as I do today. Is this church perfect? No church is perfect. It's full of human beings and none of us is perfect. But this church makes more sense to me than anything I have heard before, and I am grateful to know that I can keep going and not be considered some kind of outcast.
Have a wonderful Christmas and a Happy New Year!
Anonymous in Baltimore
You are 100% right in recognizing that the members of the church are imperfect. Thankfully, Jesus Christ, who is at the head of the Church, is perfect, and the divine feelings of spiritual peace that come through Him are unlike any other earthly diversion.
During your process of learning more about the Church, you'll inevitably have additional questions. If you'd ever like any kind of explanation beyond what your missionaries offer, please don't hesitate to post your questions here. We're very happy to help. Best of luck.
You believe in the Saviour, Jesus Christ and his atoning sacrifice. You believe that this great sacrifice will save you from the effects on judgement day. However, you feel that it is OK to continue to cohabit, and put the effects and joy of a relationship with the Saviour, and risk dying in an unrepentant state for the sake of taking care of a person who needs health insurance. No one, including your missionaries can give you permission to postpone the day of your repentance.
I humbly submit that you are making a mistake to place the welfare of a former spouse ahead of your own salvation.
Of course, you will be genuinely welcome in Church Meetings, but you are depriving yourself of the blessings of the priesthood and the temple and are bargaining with God. My humble opinion is you are making a bad deal, and giving up far too much to keep an ex happy. I am not judging you, and would never say these things to you had you not posted your situation on a public forum.
Fasting and prayer and scripture study and consultation with your Bishop are the best things you can do to gain perspective