I’ve been a member for two months and I’ve made terrible mistakes! I’ve been going to church since I was a kid, but only recently was I baptized. My mom has always been a good example for me. She’s been a member for a long time. But since being baptized I’ve continued to look at pornography. I also drink alcohol and smoke. Sometimes I leave my house for weeks at a time without thinking about how it hurts my mom. Now I’ve gone inactive. I don’t pray anymore, I don’t read the scriptures. What’s wrong with me? When they gave me the Melchizedek priesthood, I wasn’t worthy, because I’d been with my girlfriend. I feel so bad. Even now I’m crying tears of shame. I want to go on a mission. I feel so bad. I don’t know if they will excommunicate me, but even if they do I’ll do whatever it takes to make things right and come back to the church. I want to make my mom proud of me. Please help me.
3 Responses to “I’ve been a member for two months and I’ve made terrible mis…”
Francisco Paz
2009-10-19 03:41:35
Hi friend. I can tell from your email that you feel miserable. Misery comes from sin. My heart reaches out to you, but you must make some major changes to your life. Your eternal progress is at stake. You need to talk to your bishop right away.
Jesus once told an interesting parable (Matthew 21:28-31). A man asked two of his sons to go work in his garden. The first one said, "I won't go!" But later he changed his mind and went. The second one said, "Yes, sir," but then decided not to go. Which one of the sons did what his father wanted? The first. What can we learn from this parable? It's not enough to just say something. We have to do it. It's not enough feel guilty and cry with shame. We need to act. When we sin, we need to repent, and we need to forsake that sin. That's what you need to do. You need to be like the first son, not like the second.
I don't know if you'll be excommunicated or not, but what you wrote is exactly correct. If you are excommunicated, that will just be a step on the path to repentance. Excommunication can be a great blessing because it gives people the opportunity to be rebaptized so they can be cleansed of their sins once again. There was once a General Authority of the church that used to joke, "They can't excommunicate me! I repent too damn fast!" Regardless of whether or not you are excommunicated, you should repent as fast as you can so you can return to the correct path. I suspect that you will not be excommunicated because you are a new member who is still learning how to be a good Mormon and a good Christian, but, even if you are, just come right back to the Church.
God does not approve of what you've done, but He does still love you, and He wants you to establish a personal relationship with Him once again. You need to start praying again. You need to start reading the scriptures and going to Church. No matter how great our sins might be, God always wants to connect with us. We need to do our part.
Go to your bishop, friend. Tell him everything. Tell him how desperately you want to correct your life. He wants to see your life improve, just as you do. Most importantly, God wants to see you recover from this spiritual sickness that consumes you. No one is so distant from God that they are beyond the reach of Christ's atoning sacrifice.
Richard
2009-10-21 03:58:12
You've read it before, or at least in the other replies, go talk to your bishop. I know that you will have a million reasons not to go talk, but don't give into temptation. Also stateed before it's not worth it God will offer you more then they ever will because everything that is of worth already belongs to God and they have nothing but pain and misery (like you're feeling we read) and so they just want you to be miserable as they are.
When the woman was taken in adultary Christ didn't condemn her, he simply said "Go thy way and sin no more. "... Christ doesn't damn in this life, we do that enough ourselves and the devils play along to help us feel bad, etc. But the devils are liars and Christ, well He is the way.
I've personally been through parts of your story so believe me I know to a small degree what you are going through. Christ knows exactly what you are going through and what you are feeling to an extent he bled from every pore. I always find a little comfort in a talk Dallin H. Oaks gave in the octover 176th general conference entitled "He Heals the Heavy Laden"
You've probably got a long road back, but it sounds like you want to be on that road again, and that is always the first step. Read the Book of Mormon every day! There is a power in that book that will help. (Again I've lived it so I know it is true)
Another book "He did Deliver me from Bondage" by Colleen Harrison and last and most certainly the best advice I can give a person in your situation (your bishop will tell you the same, in fact you can ask about it while confessing) LDS family services addiction recovery program... I know you don't have an addiction, but the recovery meetings are people who are struggling with a few of those same items of mortality, and it's an open forum to help you feel much better.
Remember Christ and Heavenly Father only want you back and they will walk with you along your recovery. Christ laid down his life for you. He's not going to leave you stranded without help. His whole mission and goal is to save every one of God's children if they will 'come unto him and be perfected in him' and be saved in the mansion he has already prepared for you.
Any journey always start with just a single first step, so take it! And if you can't seem to, pray to God in the name of Christ for help in taking it.
Welcome back, and he's got you covered seven times seventy and then a little more on top of that.
Pamela Dean
2009-10-21 18:12:47
Dear brother, Remember the words of Luke 15:7 "I say unto you, that likewise joy shall be in heaven over one sinner that repentath more than over ninety and nine just persons, which need no repentance." Go to your bishop with a contrite heart and he will guide you back to being whole. The Lord loves you and is waiting for your return to the fold.
Jesus once told an interesting parable (Matthew 21:28-31). A man asked two of his sons to go work in his garden. The first one said, "I won't go!" But later he changed his mind and went. The second one said, "Yes, sir," but then decided not to go. Which one of the sons did what his father wanted? The first. What can we learn from this parable? It's not enough to just say something. We have to do it. It's not enough feel guilty and cry with shame. We need to act. When we sin, we need to repent, and we need to forsake that sin. That's what you need to do. You need to be like the first son, not like the second.
I don't know if you'll be excommunicated or not, but what you wrote is exactly correct. If you are excommunicated, that will just be a step on the path to repentance. Excommunication can be a great blessing because it gives people the opportunity to be rebaptized so they can be cleansed of their sins once again. There was once a General Authority of the church that used to joke, "They can't excommunicate me! I repent too damn fast!" Regardless of whether or not you are excommunicated, you should repent as fast as you can so you can return to the correct path. I suspect that you will not be excommunicated because you are a new member who is still learning how to be a good Mormon and a good Christian, but, even if you are, just come right back to the Church.
God does not approve of what you've done, but He does still love you, and He wants you to establish a personal relationship with Him once again. You need to start praying again. You need to start reading the scriptures and going to Church. No matter how great our sins might be, God always wants to connect with us. We need to do our part.
Go to your bishop, friend. Tell him everything. Tell him how desperately you want to correct your life. He wants to see your life improve, just as you do. Most importantly, God wants to see you recover from this spiritual sickness that consumes you. No one is so distant from God that they are beyond the reach of Christ's atoning sacrifice.
When the woman was taken in adultary Christ didn't condemn her, he simply said "Go thy way and sin no more. "... Christ doesn't damn in this life, we do that enough ourselves and the devils play along to help us feel bad, etc. But the devils are liars and Christ, well He is the way.
I've personally been through parts of your story so believe me I know to a small degree what you are going through. Christ knows exactly what you are going through and what you are feeling to an extent he bled from every pore. I always find a little comfort in a talk Dallin H. Oaks gave in the octover 176th general conference entitled "He Heals the Heavy Laden"
You've probably got a long road back, but it sounds like you want to be on that road again, and that is always the first step. Read the Book of Mormon every day! There is a power in that book that will help. (Again I've lived it so I know it is true)
Another book "He did Deliver me from Bondage" by Colleen Harrison and last and most certainly the best advice I can give a person in your situation (your bishop will tell you the same, in fact you can ask about it while confessing) LDS family services addiction recovery program... I know you don't have an addiction, but the recovery meetings are people who are struggling with a few of those same items of mortality, and it's an open forum to help you feel much better.
Remember Christ and Heavenly Father only want you back and they will walk with you along your recovery. Christ laid down his life for you. He's not going to leave you stranded without help. His whole mission and goal is to save every one of God's children if they will 'come unto him and be perfected in him' and be saved in the mansion he has already prepared for you.
Any journey always start with just a single first step, so take it! And if you can't seem to, pray to God in the name of Christ for help in taking it.
Welcome back, and he's got you covered seven times seventy and then a little more on top of that.