I am a member of the church of Jesus Christ of latter-day-saints for 4 years. We live in latin america. My wife is an evangelical Christian. Needless to say I had no idea that our marriage was going to start out rocky. I was content with her going to her church and me going to mine. One night our baby couldn’t go to sleep, and I was very fatigued. I got up cuddled him for awhile put him back in the crib then he started crying again. I was so so tired and by this time angry at him for not wanting to sleep I blurted out I am going to kill you. After I said it I immediately started to cry. Of course I don’t want to kill him. Not very Christ like right…. Now my wife told me that I need to leave the church and look for a new church together or return back to the states. I love my son and my wife I don´t want to lose them or leave the church. I can blame the fact I have not gone to the temple in almost 2 years I can blame the fact that my church attendance is lacking. I told her that even though I haven´t attended church in awhile I am still a mormon. What should I do?
3 Responses to “I am a member of the church of Jesus Christ of latter-day-sa…”
Ricardo Campos
2008-09-15 08:35:27
What a challenging situation! I know that when I am very tired and fatigued I sometimes say things I don't mean; when our brains are not well rested, thoughts sometimes pop into our mind that we don't necessarily agree with and that we would never act on. I encourage you to work hard to never say something like that again-you are right that it's not very Christlike-but, as long as you didn't mean it and as long as you'd never harm your child, I think you should put this experience behind you. Repent and sin no more, as Christ taught.
I must confess that I don't quite understand your wife's reasoning in asking you to abandon the Church. I agree with her that you should attend a church; you mentioned that you don't attend your local Mormon congregation regularly and that you haven't been to the temple in two years. Becoming active in the Church once again may help you better control your thoughts, especially during moments of fatigue. Leaving the Mormon Church altogether, however, as your wife suggests, could do nothing to help your spirituality. I would suggest just the opposite; become more active in the Church and let the Holy Ghost work in your heart.
Perhaps you could invite your wife to visit the Church with you. If she somehow thinks that your Mormon faith contributed to your temporary lapse in a moment of fatigue, she's obviously very mistaken. Perhaps if she visited Church with you, she could see the Christian, family-strengthening principles that are taught there. That way, her misconceptions could be dispelled. I know from personal experience that many evangelicals misunderstand Mormonism; your wife may be one of them.
I strongly recommend that you contact the leader (bishop or branch president) of your local congregation. They are likely far wiser than I am and could council you further.
Good luck, brother.
Anonymous
2008-10-06 03:45:20
I agree that you need to pray to God and ask for his forgiveness but more then that. Clearly we all have moments of frustration with our kids and I have had some moments with my children that I wish I could do over. But the key is not to get overly down on yourself, but have Godly sorrow for the mistake, repent, and then learn from the mistake, make a plan if you're ever in that situation again, and then follow your plan. You probably need to also sit down with your wife, explain your feelings as to why you had the outburst and what led up to is, forgive yourself and then beg your wife to forgive you as well.
A few books I would recomend to give you better insite so your marriage could help after the fact.. "What Women Want Men to Know" by Barbara Deangelis. "The Five Love Languages" by Gary Chapman, and on the intamate side of life "Purity and Passion" by Wendy Watson. Your wife may also like that last two so perhaps that could help and interest her into forgiving you. I believe they all should be available in other languages, but worst case you could read them with her and that in itself would increase intamacy and help heal the moment.
Best of luck brother
Anonymous
2008-09-29 03:31:16
Pray and ask for forgiveness... God is a forgiving God.
I must confess that I don't quite understand your wife's reasoning in asking you to abandon the Church. I agree with her that you should attend a church; you mentioned that you don't attend your local Mormon congregation regularly and that you haven't been to the temple in two years. Becoming active in the Church once again may help you better control your thoughts, especially during moments of fatigue. Leaving the Mormon Church altogether, however, as your wife suggests, could do nothing to help your spirituality. I would suggest just the opposite; become more active in the Church and let the Holy Ghost work in your heart.
Perhaps you could invite your wife to visit the Church with you. If she somehow thinks that your Mormon faith contributed to your temporary lapse in a moment of fatigue, she's obviously very mistaken. Perhaps if she visited Church with you, she could see the Christian, family-strengthening principles that are taught there. That way, her misconceptions could be dispelled. I know from personal experience that many evangelicals misunderstand Mormonism; your wife may be one of them.
I strongly recommend that you contact the leader (bishop or branch president) of your local congregation. They are likely far wiser than I am and could council you further.
Good luck, brother.
A few books I would recomend to give you better insite so your marriage could help after the fact.. "What Women Want Men to Know" by Barbara Deangelis. "The Five Love Languages" by Gary Chapman, and on the intamate side of life "Purity and Passion" by Wendy Watson. Your wife may also like that last two so perhaps that could help and interest her into forgiving you. I believe they all should be available in other languages, but worst case you could read them with her and that in itself would increase intamacy and help heal the moment.
Best of luck brother