I recently got married and joined the church. My marriage has been very stressful to say the least. My husband for years, has told me to find someone else. There’s alot more to this but Im extremely tired of hearing this. There has been an infidelity on my part b/c things have gotten THAT BAD. I’ve been spoken to abusively and I know it doesnt justify my actions. What do I do?
2 Responses to “I recently got married and joined the church. My marriage ha…”
Pedro Cruz
2011-12-19 20:01:10
Hi sister. I'm happy you posted your question here, and I'm sorry to hear that you're having struggles in your marriage. Marriage can be the greatest source of joy in our lives, but also the greatest source of sorrow. It sounds like both you and your husband have made some serious mistakes. Through hard work and help from God, you may well be able to overcome your challenges in time, but I think it will take a while for each of you to come to trust the other once again.
I suggest that together you chat with your bishop. I'm certain he'd be happy to help you with the spiritual aspects of your struggles and with the repentance process. It's quite common for bishops to offer marital advice to members of their congregations that solicite help.
While most bishops are well qualified to help people spiritually, they are not typically qualified family consellors. I suggest you and your husband also chat with a marriage counsellor. Sometimes, when we're in the middle of a problem, we have a hard time seeing even obvious solutions or helps. It often takes a third party to be able to objectively analyze our situation and offer the help we need.
I hope this answer helps, and I hope you and your husband manage to recover from these difficulties. God bless you during these difficult times.
Richard
2011-12-19 20:06:56
Forgive yourself, and seek to forgive your (still married?) husband... You cannot change him or his actions but you can change yourself for the better. Being a member of the church, go talk with your Bishop and get your life back in order as much as you possibly can.
I presume (perhaps incorrectly) that you are relitively young... I am sorry that his actions have hurt you at such a young age. Council with your bishop and probably LDS Family services (as he should direct you there)
9 Wherefore, I say unto you, that ye ought to forgive one another; for he that forgiveth not his brother his trespasses standeth condemned before the Lord; for there remaineth in him the greater sin.
10 I, the Lord, will forgive whom I will forgive, but of you it is required to forgive all men.
11 And ye ought to say in your heartslet God judge between me and thee, and reward thee according to thy deeds. (Doctrine and Covenants | Section 64:9 - 11)
I suggest that together you chat with your bishop. I'm certain he'd be happy to help you with the spiritual aspects of your struggles and with the repentance process. It's quite common for bishops to offer marital advice to members of their congregations that solicite help.
While most bishops are well qualified to help people spiritually, they are not typically qualified family consellors. I suggest you and your husband also chat with a marriage counsellor. Sometimes, when we're in the middle of a problem, we have a hard time seeing even obvious solutions or helps. It often takes a third party to be able to objectively analyze our situation and offer the help we need.
I hope this answer helps, and I hope you and your husband manage to recover from these difficulties. God bless you during these difficult times.
I presume (perhaps incorrectly) that you are relitively young... I am sorry that his actions have hurt you at such a young age. Council with your bishop and probably LDS Family services (as he should direct you there)
9 Wherefore, I say unto you, that ye ought to forgive one another; for he that forgiveth not his brother his trespasses standeth condemned before the Lord; for there remaineth in him the greater sin.
10 I, the Lord, will forgive whom I will forgive, but of you it is required to forgive all men.
11 And ye ought to say in your heartslet God judge between me and thee, and reward thee according to thy deeds. (Doctrine and Covenants | Section 64:9 - 11)
See also the talk by Elder Chad D. Richardson Forgiving Oneself.