Recently married and just joined the church. Marriage has been extremely strained and verbally abusive. There has been an infidelity on my part. What happens now? Dont know if I was really ready to be a memeber. Please help…. Thanks
Anonymous from North Carolina,
(This question was posted by someone who decided to join the Church, perhaps thanks in part to answers posted on AllAboutMormons.com. Click here to see other questions posted by Mormon converts.)
5 Responses to “Recently married and just joined the church. Marriage has be…”
Mario Rubio
2011-12-26 02:53:17
For members of the church, Jesus Christ is the divine Son of God, our Savior and Redeemer through whom salvation is made possible. (Reflections of Christ)
Hi sister. I think you may have posted your question earlier. I did want to add, though, a few comments about being a member of the Church. First off, let me reassure you that joining the church was the right decision. The only real preparation needed to join the church, beyond chatting with the missionaries to understand our basic doctrines and visiting the chapel to see how we worship, is to have a sincere desire to follow Christ and to keep his commandments. That doesn't mean baptized members of the church are prefect. Far from it. But it does mean that when we make mistakes, we try to correct them and free ourselves from sin by applying the atonement of Jesus Christ in our lives.
Have you made mistakes? Certainly. But so do those of us who have been members all our lives. It doesn't mean that your decision to join the church was a mistake; it means only that you need Jesus Christ just like all of us do. Could your testimony use some strengthening? Probably. The same could be said of all of us. We're all on the same spiritual journey, at different places along the trail. That doesn't mean your baptism was a mistake. It means only that you need a good dose of prayer, pondering, study, service, and a lifetime of spiritual experiences, just like all of us do.
Clearly you're going through some hard times in your life. Who knows how things will turn out? But one thing that can be constant even during troubling times is the feeling of divine love that comes only from God. Do your best to put your life in order through repentance and whatever other steps you feel are necessary. Strive to live your life in a way that will allow God to touch your heart. I know He'll bless you for it.
Anonymous
2012-01-16 05:45:18
Thank you so much for your response to my questions. You mentioned repentence. How do I go about that? My husband has no desire to join the Church yet he was supportive of my getting baptized. I heard that I would have to tell him and my bishop of my infidelity. My husband told me long ago that he never wanted to know about it if it ever happened. Im so confused. My bishop tends to be judgemental and I find it uncomfortable to talk about certain things. I can tell you that going to Church this morning gave me a melting feeling that was such a relief. It seems the more I try to do good, the adversary is right there 3 steps ahead of me and I get severely blindsided.
Mario Rubio
2012-01-23 02:02:07
Jesus Christ is central to The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, which bears His name.
Hi again sister. Sorry for my delay in answering your second question. Let me first say that I think it's wonderful that going to church brings you such spiritual peace. Some people who commit serious sins think they should stop church attendance, but in reality just the opposite is true. The church is like a hospital for people who have made mistakes (all of us, really). It's when we have sinned that we most need the encouragement and, ultimately, the redemption that come only through Jesus Christ.
Typically repentance does include confession to the person who has been wronged, but if your husband has specifically asked you not to tell him about any infidelity, confession would only do him further damage. Perhaps it would be best to keep this information from him as he has requested. I recommend that you pray to God and seek His guidance regarding the best way to handle this complicated issue.
I do think that confession to the bishop is critical, however. Bishops are given the very specific task of helping the members of their congregation overcome serious sins. The bishop can help you apply the atoning sacrifice of Jesus Christ in your life. He can guide you on the path to repentance. It's true that each bishop has his own personality, strengths, and weaknesses, but in the end these personal attributes are irrelevant, since it is the priesthood keys that bishops hold that are essential for repentance. Besides, you might be surprised at the kind help your bishop will offer. I'm certain you're not the only person in your ward who the bishop has helped escape from sexual sin.
You clearly know what spiritual peace feels like, since you described it so eloquently in your second question. Once you've completed the repentance process, you'll enjoy an even greater sense of peace knowing that, through Jesus Christ, you have overcome your sin. I hope this answer helps. Best of luck to you.
Michael
2012-01-23 21:15:24
Regarding: "It seems the more I try to do good, the adversary is right there 3 steps ahead of me and I get severely blindsided."
After I had become a member I too felt that Satan had great power in my home. One morning I had a powerful and scary dream. I dreamt that my home was shaking as if from an earthquake. I could hear a loud stomping noise outside. I ran outside to see a huge and ugly giant down at the end of our street with loud footsteps. He picked the roof off each house and reached in to grab people inside and then ate them. I was even more terrified as he moved closer to my house.
I awoke and quickly knelt in prayer and asked for God's comfort. The Spirit told me that the giant symbolizes Satan and is seeking to destroy all families. I was told that I needed to receive the priesthood to keep Satan from destroying my home.
Not too long after the dream, in August 2005 President Hinckley challenged all Church members to read the Book of Mormon by the end of the year and promised there will come into our lives and into your homes an "added measure of the Spirit of the Lord, a strengthened resolution to walk in obedience to His commandments, and a stronger testimony of the living reality of the Son of God."
I took that challenge and was so amazed at the Spirit that came to our home. A few years later I received the Melchizedek priesthood. I am amazed at the peace in our home because of the blessings of the priesthood, the temple and the Book of Mormon.
Anonymous
2012-01-31 00:39:07
Dear Sister It is very important that you not go through this alone. Your Bishop has the calling of Judge in Israel. He is there to help make your life right and to help you on the path to repentance and happiness. You needn't worry that you'll encounter anything but compassion, sensitivity and willingness to help Don't try this on your own. No one is strong enough.
Have you made mistakes? Certainly. But so do those of us who have been members all our lives. It doesn't mean that your decision to join the church was a mistake; it means only that you need Jesus Christ just like all of us do. Could your testimony use some strengthening? Probably. The same could be said of all of us. We're all on the same spiritual journey, at different places along the trail. That doesn't mean your baptism was a mistake. It means only that you need a good dose of prayer, pondering, study, service, and a lifetime of spiritual experiences, just like all of us do.
Clearly you're going through some hard times in your life. Who knows how things will turn out? But one thing that can be constant even during troubling times is the feeling of divine love that comes only from God. Do your best to put your life in order through repentance and whatever other steps you feel are necessary. Strive to live your life in a way that will allow God to touch your heart. I know He'll bless you for it.
Typically repentance does include confession to the person who has been wronged, but if your husband has specifically asked you not to tell him about any infidelity, confession would only do him further damage. Perhaps it would be best to keep this information from him as he has requested. I recommend that you pray to God and seek His guidance regarding the best way to handle this complicated issue.
I do think that confession to the bishop is critical, however. Bishops are given the very specific task of helping the members of their congregation overcome serious sins. The bishop can help you apply the atoning sacrifice of Jesus Christ in your life. He can guide you on the path to repentance. It's true that each bishop has his own personality, strengths, and weaknesses, but in the end these personal attributes are irrelevant, since it is the priesthood keys that bishops hold that are essential for repentance. Besides, you might be surprised at the kind help your bishop will offer. I'm certain you're not the only person in your ward who the bishop has helped escape from sexual sin.
You clearly know what spiritual peace feels like, since you described it so eloquently in your second question. Once you've completed the repentance process, you'll enjoy an even greater sense of peace knowing that, through Jesus Christ, you have overcome your sin. I hope this answer helps. Best of luck to you.
After I had become a member I too felt that Satan had great power in my home. One morning I had a powerful and scary dream. I dreamt that my home was shaking as if from an earthquake. I could hear a loud stomping noise outside. I ran outside to see a huge and ugly giant down at the end of our street with loud footsteps. He picked the roof off each house and reached in to grab people inside and then ate them. I was even more terrified as he moved closer to my house.
I awoke and quickly knelt in prayer and asked for God's comfort. The Spirit told me that the giant symbolizes Satan and is seeking to destroy all families. I was told that I needed to receive the priesthood to keep Satan from destroying my home.
Not too long after the dream, in August 2005 President Hinckley challenged all Church members to read the Book of Mormon by the end of the year and promised there will come into our lives and into your homes an "added measure of the Spirit of the Lord, a strengthened resolution to walk in obedience to His commandments, and a stronger testimony of the living reality of the Son of God."
I took that challenge and was so amazed at the Spirit that came to our home. A few years later I received the Melchizedek priesthood. I am amazed at the peace in our home because of the blessings of the priesthood, the temple and the Book of Mormon.