I was married 23 years ago, but my first marriage lasted only eight months. After that, without getting an official divorce, I married another woman. I lived with her for six months before getting married. I wanted to give her the life that she deserved. We were very happy, and my daughter was born, who today is 22 years old. I’m very sad because my daughters are very disrespectful towards me. My older daughter is sick of being around me, and my other daughter, who is 13 years old, seems to be turning out the same way. I sincerely thought about leaving my house and going somewhere where no one knows me. I’m writing to ask for your advice because I feel that at this time I need to grow closer to God. Three years ago, some missionaries visited us. I’ve thought about what they said and have decided I want to be Mormon. Please give me some advice on what I should do. I would really appreciate it if you could help me resolve all this so I can live in peace with my Heavenly Father. I’ve been reading the Book of Mormon and have decided to dedicate myself more to God. The only thing I want is to be happy and to have God in my heart. I thank you for your help. I’ve been praying to my Heavenly Father, and have decided this is what I want.
2 Responses to “I was married 23 years ago, but my first marriage lasted onl…”
Daniel Rios
2010-01-26 06:21:17
I'm very sorry to hear about the troubles you're having with your family. I don't have any daughters of my own, but I imagine that your situation with your 22-year-old daughter must be very heart breaking. I hope that you can find peace amidst all your troubles.
While I would never wish family strife on anyone, I'm at least happy that this challenge as sparked a desire in your heart to draw closer to God. I think it's excellent that your interest in the church has been renewed. I'm also very happy to hear that you're reading the Book of Mormon. When we grow closer to God, God doesn't give us perfect lives. We continue to face many challenges, but we're given more spiritual strength to deal with those challenges.
The church does a lot to strengthen families by teaching husbands and wives, parents and children, the correct way to treat each other. It would be wonderful if your daughter would attend church with you. I think your relationship with her would be strengthened. Even if your daughter refuses to come, though, I strongly encourage you to begin to attend church meetings every Sunday. They will give you the spiritual strength you need during these difficult times. I hope you find the same peace in Jesus Christ that I have found through His restored gospel.
You mentioned that you're currently married to two women. I understand that you don't have an intimate relationship with your first wife, but even so, members of the church aren't allowed to have more than one legal spouse. You're certainly welcome to come worship with us on Sunday, but if you do decide to officially join the church through baptism, you'll need to legally divorce your first wife. Try to do everything you can to strengthen your relationship with your second wife. Bring her to church so she can feel the spirit of God as well.
A missionary hugging a bishop in Aracaju, Sergipe, Brazil.
I recommend that you schedule a visit with the Mormon missionaries in your area. They can teach you more about the restored gospel of Jesus Christ and can also help you visit the church. You can schedule a meeting with the missionaries online. If you'd like to just visit the church on your own, you can learn the schedule and the address of the Mormon chapel nearest your house by visiting the official church website.
Don't be discouraged, friend. Your life can get better. It can be transformed through your faith in Jesus Christ. I hope you'll come and visit us soon. May God bless you.
"Just as Jesus used a child in his mortal ministry as an example for the people of the pure love they must and could have to be like him, he has offered us the family as an example of an ideal setting in which we can learn how to love as he loves." That is because the greatest joys and the greatest sorrows we experience are in family relationships. The joys come from putting the welfare of others above our own. That is what love is."
A missionary hugging a bishop in Aracaju, Sergipe, Brazil.
Perhaps this is an opportunity for your own growth? As a member I would simply take a problem like this to my bishop for advice. Can you go to the missionaries for guidance, or maybe even schedule a meeting with a local bishop? I have kids and had an issue once where I remember my son telling me he hated me, I took my mom's advice and told him he was welcome to his feelings, but even if he did actually hate me, I loved him and never would stop. My mom's advice was to tell your family that you love them even if they tell or do horrible things to you. On another note, if you need to be free of something from the past you might feel guilt over, take it to the Lord and learn not only forgiveness from him, but forgiveness of self. There is a talk entitled "Forgiving Oneself" that you can check out... Best of luck going forward, and remember life is simply one step at a time in the right direction, and Jesus Christ is more than happy to walk that path with you if you'll allow him.
While I would never wish family strife on anyone, I'm at least happy that this challenge as sparked a desire in your heart to draw closer to God. I think it's excellent that your interest in the church has been renewed. I'm also very happy to hear that you're reading the Book of Mormon. When we grow closer to God, God doesn't give us perfect lives. We continue to face many challenges, but we're given more spiritual strength to deal with those challenges.
The church does a lot to strengthen families by teaching husbands and wives, parents and children, the correct way to treat each other. It would be wonderful if your daughter would attend church with you. I think your relationship with her would be strengthened. Even if your daughter refuses to come, though, I strongly encourage you to begin to attend church meetings every Sunday. They will give you the spiritual strength you need during these difficult times. I hope you find the same peace in Jesus Christ that I have found through His restored gospel.
You mentioned that you're currently married to two women. I understand that you don't have an intimate relationship with your first wife, but even so, members of the church aren't allowed to have more than one legal spouse. You're certainly welcome to come worship with us on Sunday, but if you do decide to officially join the church through baptism, you'll need to legally divorce your first wife. Try to do everything you can to strengthen your relationship with your second wife. Bring her to church so she can feel the spirit of God as well.
Don't be discouraged, friend. Your life can get better. It can be transformed through your faith in Jesus Christ. I hope you'll come and visit us soon. May God bless you.
"Just as Jesus used a child in his mortal ministry as an example for the people of the pure love they must and could have to be like him, he has offered us the family as an example of an ideal setting in which we can learn how to love as he loves." That is because the greatest joys and the greatest sorrows we experience are in family relationships. The joys come from putting the welfare of others above our own. That is what love is."