Hi, I’m feeling a little weird for ask you that because I know I should talk to my bishop about it, but anyway, I am divorced and I met a guy who’s still on the process of his divorce, so, I feel really good about him, but I don’t know what to do, if I stay with him am I a sinner? That’s driving crazy, we both are LDS active, he is a priesthood holder and I attend the temple frequently like once a week, so he talked with his bishop and he says he was ok dating and knowing other peoples, but he have to wait until his divorce is final to have a relationship, I think I don’t understand exactly what he means, if you can help me, it would be great. Thank you and I hope you can understand my question
2 Responses to “Hi, I’m feeling a little weird for ask you that because…”
Daniel Rios
2014-11-23 20:21:59
Chastity: What are the limits?
Hi sister. I'm happy you posted your question here. Since your friend is still married, you should not be cultivating any kind of romantic relationship with him. It may well be that his pending divorce is inevitable, but you shouldn't do anything that could reduce his chances of keeping his marriage intact.
Depending on your personalities, it may be possible for you to further cultivate the friendship you have with this brother, without encouraging romance. If a truly platonic relationship is possible, there would be no harm in it. Given the situation, though, I suspect it would be difficult for the two of you to limit yourselves to friendship.
Any possible romance should be delayed until after his divorce. Now is simply not the right time.
I hope this answer helps. Let me know if you have any further questions. It's a good idea to chat with your bishop about these issues as well. Best of luck.
Pamela Bonta
2014-11-23 15:32:32
Sister, I don't know how to say this any other way than bluntly: If he is not divorced, it means he is married. Period. You could both be facing church disciplinary hearings. If he is such a great guy, he would not even think about 'dating or knowing other peoples' until that divorce is final. As for the Bishop... You weren't there, so you do not know if that is what he actually said or not. But it is church policy that "Participation in single adult activities is limited to single adult members, assigned Church officers, and single adult nonmembers who are willing to abide by Church standards. A person who is separated from his or her spouse or is seeking a divorce may not participate until the divorce decree has become final according to law." (Handbook 1: Section 16. 1. 4)
In fact, I once knew a Branch President who counseled separated sisters by telling them they could go to single adult events and that it was okay for separated brothers to date and kiss the sisters. To make a long story short, when his counsel was made known to church leadership, he himself faced disciplinary action. I'm sorry to be so blunt, but the rules are very clear - no divorce decree means that the marriage is still in effect and valid, and you are dating a married man. I pray you can do the right thing. God bless.
Depending on your personalities, it may be possible for you to further cultivate the friendship you have with this brother, without encouraging romance. If a truly platonic relationship is possible, there would be no harm in it. Given the situation, though, I suspect it would be difficult for the two of you to limit yourselves to friendship.
Any possible romance should be delayed until after his divorce. Now is simply not the right time.
I hope this answer helps. Let me know if you have any further questions. It's a good idea to chat with your bishop about these issues as well. Best of luck.
In fact, I once knew a Branch President who counseled separated sisters by telling them they could go to single adult events and that it was okay for separated brothers to date and kiss the sisters. To make a long story short, when his counsel was made known to church leadership, he himself faced disciplinary action. I'm sorry to be so blunt, but the rules are very clear - no divorce decree means that the marriage is still in effect and valid, and you are dating a married man. I pray you can do the right thing. God bless.