I have been LDS since I was born I’m 15 and I’m scares to death cause of all the big decisions I have to make right now… I have made many mistakes…. Like I’ll start out by saying I have had sexual relationships with guys and I need to get it off my back and when I was 13 one of my friends older brothers raped me and I need to talk to my bishop and clear my soul… But it’s a terrible thing to carry as a burden and when it happened I knew it was wrong and I just wanted to die.! And I didn’t tell any one cuz I’m not a person to want to hurt any one and it’s harder cause I have to deal with the fact of my horrible child hood and not having a dad and so I feel I need men or guys in my life but I am scared to death of them…! That they might hurt me…! I want more than any thing to get married and live happy for ever…. But am doughting my faith in the church cause I know it’s true but at the same time am not sure if it is true…. Please please please help me any one please help me! 🙁 What do I do????????
sin
Anonymous,
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One Response to “I have been LDS since I was born I’m 15 and I’m scares to de…”
Manuel Castro
2010-04-18 18:52:58
A missionary hugging a bishop in Aracaju, Sergipe, Brazil.
Hi friend. I'm very sorry to hear that you had such a traumatic childhood. Regarding the rape that occurred when you were 13, you must realize that you are not at all at fault. Being raped is absolutely not a sin; it is the rapist who is the sinner. I encourage you to contact the police right away. Other young people need to be protected from your friend's older brother. If you send me your address and additional details, I'd be more than happy to contact the police for you. How terrible that such a thing should happen to any young man, especially one like yourself who obviously wants to do the right thing.
Your message seems to imply that you have had consensual sexual relationships with other boys/men since your initial rape. If any of these partners were over 18, you should likewise inform the police; these men are child rapists even if you consented. I know you don't want to hurt anyone, but sexual predators like these need to be incarcerated so others can be protected and so the perpetrator can receive the psychiatric help he needs.
I strongly encourage you to visit with your bishop. He'll be able to help you in several ways:
He'll help you apply the atonement of Jesus Christ so you can be forgiven of your sins. I think forgiveness will come easily to you because you sincerely want to do the right thing and because the psychological injuries you've sustained as a victim of rape have certainly played a role in your subsequent behavior. I know you feel terrible right now, but you must believe that you can be forgiven of your sins and that you can feel right with God again. The central message of the gospel is not that we should feel terrible about ourselves. The central message is that we can find forgiveness through the saving grace of Jesus Christ. I want you to feel the power of that forgiveness! Talk with your bishop right away.
Your bishop can also help you get the psychological help you need. Bishops themselves are not usually trained in psychology, but they can help the members of their congregations find psychologists, if needed. Since Mormons have a unique culture, perhaps the bishop could even help you find a LDS psychologist who can better understand where you're coming from. Just as the bishop can help you find spiritual peace, a psychologist can help you find mental peace. I think visiting a psychologist should be a very important part of your healing process.
The bishop can also help you contact the police, if you're not comfortable doing that yourself. That way others will be protected.
Please know that God loves you. He wants you to be happy again. That's why He sent His son Jesus Christ. That's why He restored the ancient gospel in our modern days, so we could better apply Christ's atonement in our lives. Begin the processes of healing right away. God wants the best for you, and so do I. God bless.
Your message seems to imply that you have had consensual sexual relationships with other boys/men since your initial rape. If any of these partners were over 18, you should likewise inform the police; these men are child rapists even if you consented. I know you don't want to hurt anyone, but sexual predators like these need to be incarcerated so others can be protected and so the perpetrator can receive the psychiatric help he needs.
I strongly encourage you to visit with your bishop. He'll be able to help you in several ways:
- He'll help you apply the atonement of Jesus Christ so you can be forgiven of your sins. I think forgiveness will come easily to you because you sincerely want to do the right thing and because the psychological injuries you've sustained as a victim of rape have certainly played a role in your subsequent behavior. I know you feel terrible right now, but you must believe that you can be forgiven of your sins and that you can feel right with God again. The central message of the gospel is not that we should feel terrible about ourselves. The central message is that we can find forgiveness through the saving grace of Jesus Christ. I want you to feel the power of that forgiveness! Talk with your bishop right away.
- Your bishop can also help you get the psychological help you need. Bishops themselves are not usually trained in psychology, but they can help the members of their congregations find psychologists, if needed. Since Mormons have a unique culture, perhaps the bishop could even help you find a LDS psychologist who can better understand where you're coming from. Just as the bishop can help you find spiritual peace, a psychologist can help you find mental peace. I think visiting a psychologist should be a very important part of your healing process.
- The bishop can also help you contact the police, if you're not comfortable doing that yourself. That way others will be protected.
Please know that God loves you. He wants you to be happy again. That's why He sent His son Jesus Christ. That's why He restored the ancient gospel in our modern days, so we could better apply Christ's atonement in our lives. Begin the processes of healing right away. God wants the best for you, and so do I. God bless.