I am currently investigating the church and pray daily on the scriptures and my being baptized. I have a 5 month old baby girl, who if I proceed with my baptism will be raised mormon. My question is about marriage. When she is of age, and should she fall madly in love with a lovely mormon boy, how does the whole marriage thing work? Given that it will only be myself and my brother (who converted as a teenager) and her that are baptized, how would the rest of my family, including my husband, be part of such a special occasion? It would break my mum’s heart to not be part of it and she is a pivotal part of my life! Can my daughter still have a wedding reception afterwards with all the traditional ‘anglo saxon’ trimmings for our family and friends, or do the mormons believe this to be over indulgent and unnecessary? I understand and appreciate the need for modesty in the temple, but would she be able to wear my wedding dress (for example) to the reception?
3 Responses to “I am currently investigating the church and pray daily on th…”
Carlos Bravo
2009-02-28 06:34:40
Thanks so much for your recent question. I'm very happy to hear that you are investigating the Church and that you found my website to be helpful. May God bless you during this very important time in your life.
It is very customary for Mormons to have wedding receptions after being sealed in the temple. Some Mormons even hold their receptions in the cultural hall of their local chapel. Mormon receptions are fairly typical, except that they usually include casseroles, green Jell-O with carrot slivers, and, on occasion, cheesy funeral potatoes. (Sorry...I just couldn't help but poke fun at Utah Mormon "fine cuisine." As an Australian Mormon, you'd fortunately be spared these culinary idiosyncrasies...)
In all seriousness, though, I would very much encourage you to involve your non-Mormon family members in any future wedding. I'm surprised, frankly, that some Mormons do not do more to involve the non-Mormon members of their family. For example, while rings are typically exchanged in the temple sealing room, they are not actually part of the sealing ceremony. Why not wait and exchange rings at the reception? The sealing ceremony also does not include an exchanging of vows. Why not exchange vows at the reception so that other members of the family can feel included? A wedding is not just a religious affair, but a family affair as well, and all members of the family should be part of it.
Many Mormons struggle to find attractive wedding dresses that are appropriate for a temple wedding and the reception afterwards. I did a little research and learned that some Mormon women purchase strapless wedding dresses, for example, and then have them altered. Apparently sleeves and such can be added quite easily. With any luck, one of the sisters in your ward or branch could help you modify the dress for your daughter's wedding, but, if not, a professional seamstress could certainly do the job. Another option is to purchase a white bolero jacket, also called a shrug. My own wife, who is particularly "fashion sensitive," often uses a bolero so she can ware "chic" clothing that would not otherwise be appropriate for a Mormon.
Hope these answers help. Please don't hesitate to contact me if you have any further questions. I really do enjoy talking about the Church, as it has brought me great peace by helping me draw closer to Jesus Christ. Best of luck to you.
Carlos Bravo
2009-05-11 06:36:41
I recently came across a video that made me think of you and your daughter. I'm so excited to one day have a daughter of my own so I can teach her to value virtue. I know the church will play a major role in helping me instill those teachings.
Pamela Dean
2009-07-21 20:43:29
When I married in the temple none of family could attend. We held a "ring ceremony" afterwards that looked and sounded, for all intents and purposes, just like a traditional wedding, except we walked downt the aisle together and there was no veil. The other major difference was that instead of us stating vows etc. the person conducting the ceremony explained the commitments we had made to each other and to Heavenly Father in the temple. We had readings, hymns and scriptures, some read by my family. We had a traditional reception afterwards for about 120 people. It was beautiful, according to all who attended.
One note about wedding dresses. So many people look for a wedding dress that they can alter to make into an appropriate temple dress. I took a different approach. I found a pattern for a very simple white dress that was suitable for general temple attendance, and my mother made it for me. She also made a gorgeous lace floorlength coat with a little train to weat outside the temple. This part of my wedding dress has since been worn by several of my cousins at their own wedding or graduation ceremonies. In the meantime, I wear my wedding dress to the temple when I go, and am reminded of the love my mother has for me each time, giving her time and talents to create a beautiful and simple dress for an activity I hold dear and cherish.
It is very customary for Mormons to have wedding receptions after being sealed in the temple. Some Mormons even hold their receptions in the cultural hall of their local chapel. Mormon receptions are fairly typical, except that they usually include casseroles, green Jell-O with carrot slivers, and, on occasion, cheesy funeral potatoes. (Sorry...I just couldn't help but poke fun at Utah Mormon "fine cuisine." As an Australian Mormon, you'd fortunately be spared these culinary idiosyncrasies...)
In all seriousness, though, I would very much encourage you to involve your non-Mormon family members in any future wedding. I'm surprised, frankly, that some Mormons do not do more to involve the non-Mormon members of their family. For example, while rings are typically exchanged in the temple sealing room, they are not actually part of the sealing ceremony. Why not wait and exchange rings at the reception? The sealing ceremony also does not include an exchanging of vows. Why not exchange vows at the reception so that other members of the family can feel included? A wedding is not just a religious affair, but a family affair as well, and all members of the family should be part of it.
Many Mormons struggle to find attractive wedding dresses that are appropriate for a temple wedding and the reception afterwards. I did a little research and learned that some Mormon women purchase strapless wedding dresses, for example, and then have them altered. Apparently sleeves and such can be added quite easily. With any luck, one of the sisters in your ward or branch could help you modify the dress for your daughter's wedding, but, if not, a professional seamstress could certainly do the job. Another option is to purchase a white bolero jacket, also called a shrug. My own wife, who is particularly "fashion sensitive," often uses a bolero so she can ware "chic" clothing that would not otherwise be appropriate for a Mormon.
Hope these answers help. Please don't hesitate to contact me if you have any further questions. I really do enjoy talking about the Church, as it has brought me great peace by helping me draw closer to Jesus Christ. Best of luck to you.
One note about wedding dresses. So many people look for a wedding dress that they can alter to make into an appropriate temple dress. I took a different approach. I found a pattern for a very simple white dress that was suitable for general temple attendance, and my mother made it for me. She also made a gorgeous lace floorlength coat with a little train to weat outside the temple. This part of my wedding dress has since been worn by several of my cousins at their own wedding or graduation ceremonies. In the meantime, I wear my wedding dress to the temple when I go, and am reminded of the love my mother has for me each time, giving her time and talents to create a beautiful and simple dress for an activity I hold dear and cherish.