I’m interested in the mormon church but am entirely asexual. I feel no attraction for men or women and instead get a lot of fulfillment from my academic studies. Can I still be a mormon?
2 Responses to “I’m interested in the mormon church but am entirely asexual….”
Mateo Campos
2008-12-08 09:26:07
Marriage is very important not only in Mormon culture but also in Mormon theology. Mormons believe that both husband and wife need each other to progress in the next life.
There is an important caveat, though. Leaders of the Church have stated that those who through no fault of their own cannot marry in this life will be denied no blessings in the next life. The implication is that these will receive the sacred ordinance of marriage in the next life. If you are aware of the Mormon concept of vicarious ordinances, I think that will make sense to you. If not, take a look at https://www.allaboutmormons.com/mormon_be...
The classic example of those who should not marry in this life are those who struggle with same-sex attraction. Those homosexuals who choose to be active Mormons (and there are probably tens of thousands of them) are not expected to marry in this life. Now I realize that asexuality and homosexuality are very different things, but one could argue that someone who is asexual should not marry, and that they are not at all at fault for their asexuality, using the same kinds of arguments.
Of course, if the right guy should come along, let me assure you that marriage can be even more intellectually and spiritually fulfilling than academia, and I say that as an academic. However, if you feel no attraction through no fault of your own, I think you should probably not marry.
The above considerations are purely theological/doctrinal. Culturally speaking, Mormons love marriage and will probably often ask you if you're seeing anyone. However, Mormon culture is just like any other human culture. It is flawed. What is important, at least from my perspective, is that we do our best to follow the doctrine, and not worry unnecessarily about cultural concerns.
Anonymous
2008-12-15 01:40:06
Being asexual should not impede your desire to become a latter-day saint. While we believe that children are a blessing, we also believe that the number of children a couple should have is up to them. Some couples feel that they should have many children, others feel that none or one or two are the right number. Being married to someone is not a prerequisite to becoming a member, although if you were living common-law you would not be able to be baptized until you either married or moved into separate homes, as this relationship is considered a sinful one. Likewise, homosexual relationships are also considered sinful, though we love and cherish those who consider themselves to be homosexual. Being asexual is different - is the abscence of sexual desire a sin? I would say no. Several prophets have indeicated that the only thing necessary for a successful marriage is two people who are committed to each other. Love and desire can be wonderful byproducts of that commitment. If you did become a member, you may even find that you are able to find someone who has similar interests to you, and desire to be married to that person for all the joys and blessings available to those people who are married, without having the relationship be a sexual one. In addition, many members, especially females, do not marry for many reasons, including not finding a suitable companion. The bottom line is that there is no requirement to be married in order to be a member, and the Lord has promised us that everyone who has lived worthily will be entitled to the same blessings and privileges throuhgout eternity.
There is an important caveat, though. Leaders of the Church have stated that those who through no fault of their own cannot marry in this life will be denied no blessings in the next life. The implication is that these will receive the sacred ordinance of marriage in the next life. If you are aware of the Mormon concept of vicarious ordinances, I think that will make sense to you. If not, take a look at https://www.allaboutmormons.com/mormon_be...
The classic example of those who should not marry in this life are those who struggle with same-sex attraction. Those homosexuals who choose to be active Mormons (and there are probably tens of thousands of them) are not expected to marry in this life. Now I realize that asexuality and homosexuality are very different things, but one could argue that someone who is asexual should not marry, and that they are not at all at fault for their asexuality, using the same kinds of arguments.
Of course, if the right guy should come along, let me assure you that marriage can be even more intellectually and spiritually fulfilling than academia, and I say that as an academic. However, if you feel no attraction through no fault of your own, I think you should probably not marry.
The above considerations are purely theological/doctrinal. Culturally speaking, Mormons love marriage and will probably often ask you if you're seeing anyone. However, Mormon culture is just like any other human culture. It is flawed. What is important, at least from my perspective, is that we do our best to follow the doctrine, and not worry unnecessarily about cultural concerns.