When I got married I was confused. At that point, I had already started to have feelings for someone else. But I decided to get married to the man who is now my husband anyway. I thought that what I felt for the other person would pass in time, after I got married, but that’s not what happened. We’ve been married a year and there isn’t a single day that I don’t think about this other man, that I don’t think about being with him. I know that what I’m doing isn’t right. I feel bad because my husband loves me a lot and he’s a great husband, but I just can’t love him the same way he loves me. I don’t know what to do. I don’t want to hurt him.
One Response to “I think I’m in love with another man”
Lucas Silva
2015-03-29 18:02:26
How to save a marriage
Hi sister. Thanks for your question. It's not uncommon for married people to have momentary feelings of attraction towards people other than their spouse. Momentary thoughts like these are often not chosen and so are not necessarily sinful. But if you're intentionally cultivating romantic feelings for anyone but your husband, you are committing a serious sin. It's a form of infidelity.
I acknowledge that the type of exciting love that typically initiates a romantic relationship is not something that is chosen. Chemistry usually exists or it doesn't, often independent of our own will. But the more mature love that accompanies a long-term commitment like marriage is a choice. You need to choose to cultivate this kind of deeper love for your husband.
You made a sacred promise to your husband. You chose to marry him, and choices have consequences. Choose now to be a mature adult, to focus all your efforts on strengthening and cultivating your love for him.
Divorce is rarely the correct solution for marriage challenges. You yourself acknowledge that your husband is a good person, so it appears that your circumstance truly doesn't justify divorce. The correct solution to most marriage problems is to work harder at the marriage. Talk with your husband about the things you can do together to strengthen your relationship. Perhaps your bishop or a marriage counselor could also help.
I acknowledge that the type of exciting love that typically initiates a romantic relationship is not something that is chosen. Chemistry usually exists or it doesn't, often independent of our own will. But the more mature love that accompanies a long-term commitment like marriage is a choice. You need to choose to cultivate this kind of deeper love for your husband.
You made a sacred promise to your husband. You chose to marry him, and choices have consequences. Choose now to be a mature adult, to focus all your efforts on strengthening and cultivating your love for him.
Divorce is rarely the correct solution for marriage challenges. You yourself acknowledge that your husband is a good person, so it appears that your circumstance truly doesn't justify divorce. The correct solution to most marriage problems is to work harder at the marriage. Talk with your husband about the things you can do together to strengthen your relationship. Perhaps your bishop or a marriage counselor could also help.