I’ve been a member of the church for five years now, and I’m very happy in it. My testimony is strong. About a year ago, my husband was called to be the bishop of my ward, but I’m not very happy about his calling. He dedicates all his time to the work. I feel a little discouraged and am a little reluctant to participate in the church. Can you help me?
4 Responses to “My husband was called to be the Bishop”
Leonardo Castro
2012-12-09 13:22:57
A missionary hugging a bishop in Aracaju, Sergipe, Brazil.
Hi sister. Thanks for your comment. If your husband needs help, you should kindly encourage him to delegate some of his responsibilities to his counselors. He should be cautious to not neglect his relationship with you.
In general, though, it is very important that you support your husband in his calling. It is difficult to be a bishop, sister. He needs your help. When a man is called to serve as a bishop, in a way his wife is also called to help support him. There is so much abuse and selfishness in the world. You should be grateful that your husband is so dedicated to helping and serving others. Even if he is not the perfect bishop, he must be a good man because he is trying to help.
Pamela Bonta
2013-01-21 11:34:05
The Lord has called your husband to do this work - think what blessings will be yours in the time to come because of his faithful service and your support of it! He does need your your support to fulfil his calling well, but you also need him to be your husband. That's why he has counsellors to help him and to take on some of the work. It's also why there are Presidencies for Young Men, Young Women, Elder's Quorum, Relief Society, and Sunday School. Encourage him to use these organizations to their full potential.
I know other sisters who do little things to spend a few extra moments with their bishop husband - taking snacks in the evening to the church building and then taking a ten minute walk with him, for example. Maybe there are some things like that that you could try.
In addition, Monday nights need to be reserved for Family Home Evening, and that means the whole evening, not an hour after supper and then back to work. Date Night also needs to be set in stone - no exceptions, except for "life or death" emergencies. Both of those nights also mean no phone calls, no emails, no texts. Some Bishops also schedule meetings with members and for temple recommends during Sunday meetings so that they can spend the afternoon with their families.
Anonymous
2014-01-25 15:03:12
I understand how this sister feels because I have felt the same way and my husband is just a counselor! Something our bishop was counseled to do was to counsel with his counselors, and that us a resource his wife can tap into too. There were several things that bothered her, and my husband was able to counsel intelligently with the bishop once she confided her concerns to him. It wasn't an inappropriate confessional--I need to make that clear.
Something that wives don't fully realize until after the calling is how hard Satan works on bishops and their families. The wife really does have to pick up the slack in the family, and she has to work harder than ever to reinforce good communication between herself and her husband. The good part is that she has a community of other wives who understand her sacrifice so she should never feel alone. The Lord is also fully aware of her sacrifice, and if she turns to Him, He will always be there. I'm glad that a bishop doesn't tend to be a bishop for the rest of his life anymore--more like 5 years!
Pamela Bonta
2014-01-27 06:31:00
Being the spouse of a person with such a calling certainly does take effort. I was Young Women President for a time, and even that meant that the rest of my family had to pitch in. Was it worth it? You bet! As the wife of a Bishop, there are often expectations placed upon you whereby you have the choice to be supportive and use this an opportunity to build a cohesive family regardless of what the Lord requires, or to sit back and become resentful. I found this article that may help offer perspective.
Also, even though your husband is Bishop, that does not mean that it needs to consume his life. As Gordon B. Hinckley said in this talk: "You must not rob your family of time which belongs to them." You might also be interested in reading about on bishop's experience here. He relates all the things that he has learned while being a Bishop. Think of the great blessings these teachings will bring to your family as they make your husband a better man, better father, better husband.
I encourage you to support him to the best of your ability, just as you would expect him to support if you were called to the Relief Society, Young Women, or Primary Presidencies. God bless, Sister... Hang in there
In general, though, it is very important that you support your husband in his calling. It is difficult to be a bishop, sister. He needs your help. When a man is called to serve as a bishop, in a way his wife is also called to help support him. There is so much abuse and selfishness in the world. You should be grateful that your husband is so dedicated to helping and serving others. Even if he is not the perfect bishop, he must be a good man because he is trying to help.
I know other sisters who do little things to spend a few extra moments with their bishop husband - taking snacks in the evening to the church building and then taking a ten minute walk with him, for example. Maybe there are some things like that that you could try.
In addition, Monday nights need to be reserved for Family Home Evening, and that means the whole evening, not an hour after supper and then back to work. Date Night also needs to be set in stone - no exceptions, except for "life or death" emergencies. Both of those nights also mean no phone calls, no emails, no texts. Some Bishops also schedule meetings with members and for temple recommends during Sunday meetings so that they can spend the afternoon with their families.
Something that wives don't fully realize until after the calling is how hard Satan works on bishops and their families. The wife really does have to pick up the slack in the family, and she has to work harder than ever to reinforce good communication between herself and her husband. The good part is that she has a community of other wives who understand her sacrifice so she should never feel alone. The Lord is also fully aware of her sacrifice, and if she turns to Him, He will always be there. I'm glad that a bishop doesn't tend to be a bishop for the rest of his life anymore--more like 5 years!
Also, even though your husband is Bishop, that does not mean that it needs to consume his life. As Gordon B. Hinckley said in this talk: "You must not rob your family of time which belongs to them." You might also be interested in reading about on bishop's experience here. He relates all the things that he has learned while being a Bishop. Think of the great blessings these teachings will bring to your family as they make your husband a better man, better father, better husband.
I encourage you to support him to the best of your ability, just as you would expect him to support if you were called to the Relief Society, Young Women, or Primary Presidencies. God bless, Sister... Hang in there