Good morning brothers and sisters. I’d like to share my experience. Almost a year ago, I started dating a Mormon girl. After reading the Book of Mormon I started to investigate the religion (without her asking me) and started talking with the missionaries. I decided to be baptized. My girlfriend and I were talking about marriage, about an Eternal Family, but then one day she decided to end our relationship. It’s been a month and I’m still very sad. I don’t understand why this happened. It really hurts. Now going to church has become very difficult for me. Every moment there reminds me of her. I’m thinking about going inactive and leaving my calling to try to forget her, but I don’t know what to do. I know that our Heavenly Father wants the best for us, but I’m just hurting so much. I’m praying a lot about this decision, but I’m having a hard time feeling His answers.
Hi Miguel. I'm sorry to hear your relationship didn't work out. As you know, strong emotions can sometimes affect our judgment. During difficult times, it can be helpful to receive objective advice from someone who's a bit removed from the situation. I hope I can be that person for you, brother.
I understand that it's painful to remember your ex-girlfriend whenever you go to church, but it would be a huge mistake to compound one tragedy with an even bigger one. As painful as your breakup was, you'll recover in time. You'll fall in love with another woman. You could still form an eternal, sealed family one day.
On the other hand, the decision to leave the church will have far more eternal consequences. It's likely you'd never return. That permanent inactivity could have a serious impact on your eternal, spiritual health and progress. You could forfeit the many spiritual blessings that come from being a faithful member, including the opportunity to one day become more like our Heavenly Father. Don't sacrifice your future progress on the alter of a temporary, albeit acutely painful, tragedy.
Why don't you talk with your bishop about the challenges you're facing, Miguel? Tell him you want to stay active in the church but that you're struggling because of the hard breakup. I'm certain he'll be able to help you.
I hope this answer helps, and I hope you make the right decision. God bless.
Pamela Bonta
2014-06-08 15:22:39
Excellent suggestions from the Webmaster. Another option if you are both in the same ward is to speak to your Bishop and Stake President to see if you can receive permission from them to attend church at a different ward. While members are supposed to go to their geographically correct ward, occasionally exceptions can be made. For example, when my husband and his ex-wife separated, he received permission to go to a different ward. God bless.
I understand that it's painful to remember your ex-girlfriend whenever you go to church, but it would be a huge mistake to compound one tragedy with an even bigger one. As painful as your breakup was, you'll recover in time. You'll fall in love with another woman. You could still form an eternal, sealed family one day.
On the other hand, the decision to leave the church will have far more eternal consequences. It's likely you'd never return. That permanent inactivity could have a serious impact on your eternal, spiritual health and progress. You could forfeit the many spiritual blessings that come from being a faithful member, including the opportunity to one day become more like our Heavenly Father. Don't sacrifice your future progress on the alter of a temporary, albeit acutely painful, tragedy.
Why don't you talk with your bishop about the challenges you're facing, Miguel? Tell him you want to stay active in the church but that you're struggling because of the hard breakup. I'm certain he'll be able to help you.
I hope this answer helps, and I hope you make the right decision. God bless.