Hi. I was a convert into the church. I have been inactive for about 8 years now. During that time I have gotten tattoos and smoked cigarettes. I also got married to my boyfriend but we aren’t legally married we just had a ceremony for ourselves and God. Will I be excommunicated if I go back? I feel I can’t go back. And that everyone will hold my past against me. What should I do?
One Response to “Hi. I was a convert into the church. I have been…”
Lucas Silva
2015-08-30 11:15:55
For members of the church, Jesus Christ is the divine Son of God, our Savior and Redeemer through whom salvation is made possible. (Reflections of Christ)
Hi sister. Good for you for deciding to come back to the church. That takes real courage. There are several points in your question that I'd like to clarify.
First, excommunication is challenging, of course, but it's not the terrible punishment you've described in your question. Sometimes when good people commit serious sins, they have to be excommunicated so they can recover and be rebaptized. It's just part of the repentance process. Lots of people who are excommunicated continue to go to church throughout the whole process. Excommunication, if seen in the proper light, can be redemptive and beautiful.
Second, I doubt you need to even worry about excommunication anyway. Smoking and getting a tattoo are certainly not excommunicable offenses. Living with someone could be, but only in some cases (e.g., sometimes, though not always, when an endowed member of the church makes that decision). I take it from what you wrote that that doesn't apply to you either.
Will people judge you because of your life situation? There will probably be some. That's true of everyone, everywhere. There are random people on the street (who've never even heard of "the Mormons") that judge you because of your tattoo. There are random people who judge me because I'm blond (I can't speak for other blonds, but in my case it really is correlated with ditsyness). People get unfairly judged because of weight, height, accent, political affiliation, etc., etc., etc. Some human beings are just judgmental. The best approach is to ignore these kinds of negative folks.
But you'll certainly be able to find some allies at the church when you return. There are people there who will be eager to help someone like you, someone who's trying to change her life. Seek out those people. The bishop should be one of them.
I've noticed that one of the most active women in my ward has a tattoo. It certainly hasn't stopped her from being a great Mormon. And the "tattooed Mormon" is one of the most famous Mormon celebrities de jour. I saw her give a fireside a few months ago, and it was fantastic.
To get the most out of church, you'll need to stop smoking. I know it's very difficult, but with support from your bishop and, if necessary, medical help, you'll be able to do it. Spiritual questions aside, quitting would be great for your health, as you well know.
It's also important to marry your partner legally. Perhaps he'll even become interested in the church, though his interest shouldn't have any impact on your own decision to come back. Who knows? Maybe one day the two of you can be sealed in the temple. I couldn't imagine a greater blessing for you.
To get help with the process of reactivation, I'd recommend chatting with your bishop. He should be at church on Sunday. Why don't you go to a sacrament meeting near your house and schedule an appointment with him afterwards?
The missionaries could also help you come back to the church. You can request a missionary visit online. They'd be thrilled to hear from someone who's sincerely interested in returning to full activity.
First, excommunication is challenging, of course, but it's not the terrible punishment you've described in your question. Sometimes when good people commit serious sins, they have to be excommunicated so they can recover and be rebaptized. It's just part of the repentance process. Lots of people who are excommunicated continue to go to church throughout the whole process. Excommunication, if seen in the proper light, can be redemptive and beautiful.
Second, I doubt you need to even worry about excommunication anyway. Smoking and getting a tattoo are certainly not excommunicable offenses. Living with someone could be, but only in some cases (e.g., sometimes, though not always, when an endowed member of the church makes that decision). I take it from what you wrote that that doesn't apply to you either.
Will people judge you because of your life situation? There will probably be some. That's true of everyone, everywhere. There are random people on the street (who've never even heard of "the Mormons") that judge you because of your tattoo. There are random people who judge me because I'm blond (I can't speak for other blonds, but in my case it really is correlated with ditsyness). People get unfairly judged because of weight, height, accent, political affiliation, etc., etc., etc. Some human beings are just judgmental. The best approach is to ignore these kinds of negative folks.
But you'll certainly be able to find some allies at the church when you return. There are people there who will be eager to help someone like you, someone who's trying to change her life. Seek out those people. The bishop should be one of them.
I've noticed that one of the most active women in my ward has a tattoo. It certainly hasn't stopped her from being a great Mormon. And the "tattooed Mormon" is one of the most famous Mormon celebrities de jour. I saw her give a fireside a few months ago, and it was fantastic.
To get the most out of church, you'll need to stop smoking. I know it's very difficult, but with support from your bishop and, if necessary, medical help, you'll be able to do it. Spiritual questions aside, quitting would be great for your health, as you well know.
It's also important to marry your partner legally. Perhaps he'll even become interested in the church, though his interest shouldn't have any impact on your own decision to come back. Who knows? Maybe one day the two of you can be sealed in the temple. I couldn't imagine a greater blessing for you.
To get help with the process of reactivation, I'd recommend chatting with your bishop. He should be at church on Sunday. Why don't you go to a sacrament meeting near your house and schedule an appointment with him afterwards?
The missionaries could also help you come back to the church. You can request a missionary visit online. They'd be thrilled to hear from someone who's sincerely interested in returning to full activity.
I hope this answer helps, sister. Let me know if you have any additional questions. I'm very happy to help.