I have a boyfriend who has been an active member his whole life, broken the Law of Chasity, but has repented fully. I still can’t help but feel I am doing something wrong by dating him and then I feel horrible for still holding that sin against him when he has repented. What should you do about potential spouses who have committed this sin? Any advice?
2 Responses to “I have a boyfriend who has been an active member his…”
Richard
2012-07-19 16:40:55
Our Lord has said:
42 Behold, he who has repented of his sins, the same is forgiven, and I, the Lord, remember them no more.
43 By this ye may know if a man repenteth of his sins--behold, he will confess them and forsake them.
(Doctrine and Covenants | Section 58:42 - 43)
And
6 There are those who have sought occasion against him without cause;
7 Nevertheless, he has sinned; but verily I say unto you, I, the Lord, forgive sins unto those who confess their sins before me and ask forgiveness, who have not sinned unto death.
8 My disciples, in days of old, sought occasion against one another and forgave not one another in their hearts; and for this evil they were afflicted and sorely chastened.
9 Wherefore, I say unto you, that ye ought to forgive one another; for he that forgiveth not his brother his trespasses standeth condemned before the Lord; for there remaineth in him the greater sin.
10 I, the Lord, will forgive whom I will forgive, but of you it is required to forgive all men.
11 And ye ought to say in your hearts--let God judge between me and thee, and reward thee according to thy deeds.
(Doctrine and Covenants | Section 64:6 - 11)
Don't worry about it, forgive him. Marry him if you two are at that stage, and if not let him go, if he comes back to you then rejoice, if not then go live your life without any regrets.
Good luck
Anonymous
2012-07-21 22:13:06
When someone has sinned and has fully repented, they are utilizing the atonement of Jesus Christ and in a sense, are becoming "a new creature in Christ." Think of it as a wooden board. When we sin, our board gets scratched up, it has nails hammered into it, and it doesn't look like the once-new board we began with. When we begin to repent, slowly, the nails are removed. However, when we are sincere with the intent to repent and use the atonement (or are baptized), we don't just have all of the nails removed- it's like getting a brand new board! Your boyfriend may have made some mistakes, but it's never too late to try to make things right.
In regards to potential spouses- I know that this is a sensitive subject and I don't think there is a straight forward answer, but I would ask you this: Are you taking into consideration the miracle of the atonement and what it can do to change lives? If he has fully repented and has utilized the atonement, then holding that sin against them is like saying that the atonement isn't real.
My sister in law is currently dating a man that is a convert. He drank, broke the law of chastity, had several piercings and tattoos, but later joined the church and served a full time mission. He is one of the greatest members of the church I know and is an example to her! She knows about his past, but feels like if he repented and has CHANGED, then she has nothing to hold against him! Nobody is perfect, and the beauty of the atonement is we can repent!
42 Behold, he who has repented of his sins, the same is forgiven, and I, the Lord, remember them no more.
43 By this ye may know if a man repenteth of his sins--behold, he will confess them and forsake them.
(Doctrine and Covenants | Section 58:42 - 43)
And
6 There are those who have sought occasion against him without cause;
7 Nevertheless, he has sinned; but verily I say unto you, I, the Lord, forgive sins unto those who confess their sins before me and ask forgiveness, who have not sinned unto death.
8 My disciples, in days of old, sought occasion against one another and forgave not one another in their hearts; and for this evil they were afflicted and sorely chastened.
9 Wherefore, I say unto you, that ye ought to forgive one another; for he that forgiveth not his brother his trespasses standeth condemned before the Lord; for there remaineth in him the greater sin.
10 I, the Lord, will forgive whom I will forgive, but of you it is required to forgive all men.
11 And ye ought to say in your hearts--let God judge between me and thee, and reward thee according to thy deeds.
(Doctrine and Covenants | Section 64:6 - 11)
Don't worry about it, forgive him. Marry him if you two are at that stage, and if not let him go, if he comes back to you then rejoice, if not then go live your life without any regrets.
Good luck
In regards to potential spouses- I know that this is a sensitive subject and I don't think there is a straight forward answer, but I would ask you this: Are you taking into consideration the miracle of the atonement and what it can do to change lives? If he has fully repented and has utilized the atonement, then holding that sin against them is like saying that the atonement isn't real.
My sister in law is currently dating a man that is a convert. He drank, broke the law of chastity, had several piercings and tattoos, but later joined the church and served a full time mission. He is one of the greatest members of the church I know and is an example to her! She knows about his past, but feels like if he repented and has CHANGED, then she has nothing to hold against him! Nobody is perfect, and the beauty of the atonement is we can repent!