I was born in the church and know it to be true, but I haven’t felt the fire that everyone talks about. I know that not everyone does and that the Spirit touches everyone differently, but it makes me worried that maybe my conviction isn’t as strong as I believe. My parents are converts and they say that they never felt the fire, but it still hurts when I hear all those stories about the warmth and burn of joy and hope that accommpanies the Holy Spirit. I am a logical person and that’s how I recieve my inspiration-through peace and serenity washing over me and soothing my mind and heart. But without the burning that everyone seems to feel, I’m not sure that I know I know the truth. I almost feel like a fake mormon even though I’m not. My emotions are extreme so I have to work to control them and people say I’m cold, so I wonder if I’m too cold and logical and calculating to be worthy of that feeling. Can you help me understand?
3 Responses to “I was born in the church and know it to be true, but I haven…”
Samuel Santana
2010-09-27 07:05:53
Hi Clarissa. I wouldn't worry one bit about not having felt a "burning in the bosom." That is how the Spirit testifies to some people, and that's a valid manifestation for them, but that's not how the Spirit communicates with everybody. You say things like "[I] know it to be true," "I receive inspiration through peace and serenity... soothing my mind and heart..." This is obviously how the Spirit influences you. Your way of feeling the Spirit is just as valid as anyone else's way.
Joseph Smith also described feeling the spirit as a "quickening of the mind." Perhaps that metaphor will serve you better than the more common "burning in the bosom."
Come to think of it, I don't think I've ever felt a literal burning in the bosom either. The Spirit often manifests itself to me in emotionally and intellectually powerful ways, but never as a burning. Of course, I get heartburn a lot, so perhaps God, in His infinite wisdom, knows that I'd just confuse a "burning in the bosom" with acid reflux anyway! :) In all seriousness, I'm grateful for a God that tailors His Spirit to each of His children's individual needs.
I have the same issue that you do. I've never felt that burning. My testimony has grown from answers to prayers. I've also noticed that (perhaps because I'm such a logical person) my answers tend to be the Lord directing my thoughts in a certain way. The difficulty with that was learning what was from God and what was from me. I'm still learning, but a good basis is that if you feel anxious about something, it's probably not right. If you're nervous, but with an underlying confidence, it's probably right. Pay attention to what you feel and think after prayers, in church, or when reading the scriptures. Studying your reactions to these things can help you notice how you personally feel the spirit and receive direction.
P. S. I've also noticed that uncontrollable tears seem to accompany what most people would call a spiritual experience. So I see my tears as my own kind of "burning".
Samuel Santana: Thanks for your excellent response, Robyn! Some people do cry when they feel the Spirit. That certainly happens to me from time to time. Some people are less prone to crying than others, though. I'm certain some people feel the Spirit strongly without ever crying, too. I think what you said is very true. Each person has their own personal way of feeling God's Spirit.
Pamela Dean Bonta
2010-10-11 14:37:07
Dear Clarissa,
Please don't feel that you are a 'fake' mormon because you experience the promptings of the spirit differently from some others. This is quite normal. Pres. Eyring told us in 2003 that "... We can promise those we love that they will feel joy and peace as the spirit confirms truth, if they ask for that blessing in faith" (An Enduring Testimony of the Mission of the Prophet Joseph, Liahona and Ensign, November 2003).
The Family Home Evening resource book has a great lesson on learning to recognize the spirit. (Lesson Fifteen: Learning to Recognize the Spirit," Family Home Evening Resource book, (1997), 64.) One part of the lesson says:
... Some signs of true promptings of the spirit, BESIDES A BURNING IN THE BOSOM (capitals mine)... Might include
The promptings do not violate any gospel principles, such as the free agency of another.
The promptings are in harmony with the teachings of the scripture and of the prophets.
The promptings are in harmony with the order of the church.
The promptings bring peace to the soul.
The promptings do not raise doubts and questions.
The promptings result in lasting happiness when we follow them.
The promptings may be contrary to our desires when we have asked for the wrong things.
As you can see, some of these do not even mention any sort of emotion, but are quite logical in their manifestation of the spirit.
The most important thing, sister, is to listen for those promptings from the spirit. "Listening is an essential part of praying. Answers from the Lord come quietlyever so quietly. In fact, few hear his answers audibly with their ears. We must be listening so carefully or we will never recognize them. Most answers from the Lord are felt in our heart as a warm comfortable expression, or they may come as thoughts to our mind. They come to those who are prepared and who are patient" (Conference Report, Oct. 1973, p. 13; or Ensign, Jan. 1974, p. 19.)
Heavenly Father knows that all of his children have strengths and weaknesses and that they all learn and experience mortality differently. Because of that, he has provided numerous ways for his children to be in tune with him. Tears and burning bosoms are just two of the myriad ways we can feel his power and his love for us. A lack of a burning in the bosom is not a question of worthiness - it is merely one way that we can feel the spirit. In fact, if you look closely at your question and the list above, you will see that number 4 appears to describe your situation, and is a perfectly acceptable and normal way of feeling the spirit in your life.
Samuel Santana: Excellent answer as always, Pamela. Thanks for your inspired words.
Joseph Smith also described feeling the spirit as a "quickening of the mind." Perhaps that metaphor will serve you better than the more common "burning in the bosom."
Come to think of it, I don't think I've ever felt a literal burning in the bosom either. The Spirit often manifests itself to me in emotionally and intellectually powerful ways, but never as a burning. Of course, I get heartburn a lot, so perhaps God, in His infinite wisdom, knows that I'd just confuse a "burning in the bosom" with acid reflux anyway! :) In all seriousness, I'm grateful for a God that tailors His Spirit to each of His children's individual needs.
I recently made a feeble attempt to describe what it's like to feel God's Spirit that you might find helpful. God bless you, Clarissa!
P. S. I've also noticed that uncontrollable tears seem to accompany what most people would call a spiritual experience. So I see my tears as my own kind of "burning".
Samuel Santana: Thanks for your excellent response, Robyn! Some people do cry when they feel the Spirit. That certainly happens to me from time to time. Some people are less prone to crying than others, though. I'm certain some people feel the Spirit strongly without ever crying, too. I think what you said is very true. Each person has their own personal way of feeling God's Spirit.
Please don't feel that you are a 'fake' mormon because you experience the promptings of the spirit differently from some others. This is quite normal. Pres. Eyring told us in 2003 that "... We can promise those we love that they will feel joy and peace as the spirit confirms truth, if they ask for that blessing in faith" (An Enduring Testimony of the Mission of the Prophet Joseph, Liahona and Ensign, November 2003).
The Family Home Evening resource book has a great lesson on learning to recognize the spirit. (Lesson Fifteen: Learning to Recognize the Spirit," Family Home Evening Resource book, (1997), 64.) One part of the lesson says:
... Some signs of true promptings of the spirit, BESIDES A BURNING IN THE BOSOM (capitals mine)... Might include
- The promptings do not violate any gospel principles, such as the free agency of another.
- The promptings are in harmony with the teachings of the scripture and of the prophets.
- The promptings are in harmony with the order of the church.
- The promptings bring peace to the soul.
- The promptings do not raise doubts and questions.
- The promptings result in lasting happiness when we follow them.
- The promptings may be contrary to our desires when we have asked for the wrong things.
As you can see, some of these do not even mention any sort of emotion, but are quite logical in their manifestation of the spirit.The most important thing, sister, is to listen for those promptings from the spirit. "Listening is an essential part of praying. Answers from the Lord come quietlyever so quietly. In fact, few hear his answers audibly with their ears. We must be listening so carefully or we will never recognize them. Most answers from the Lord are felt in our heart as a warm comfortable expression, or they may come as thoughts to our mind. They come to those who are prepared and who are patient" (Conference Report, Oct. 1973, p. 13; or Ensign, Jan. 1974, p. 19.)
Heavenly Father knows that all of his children have strengths and weaknesses and that they all learn and experience mortality differently. Because of that, he has provided numerous ways for his children to be in tune with him. Tears and burning bosoms are just two of the myriad ways we can feel his power and his love for us. A lack of a burning in the bosom is not a question of worthiness - it is merely one way that we can feel the spirit. In fact, if you look closely at your question and the list above, you will see that number 4 appears to describe your situation, and is a perfectly acceptable and normal way of feeling the spirit in your life.
Samuel Santana: Excellent answer as always, Pamela. Thanks for your inspired words.