I sometimes wonder if I should belong to the Mormon Church. I have a horrible past. I never hear others saying anything bout doing the type of things I have done. I’m a woman. During my 1st marriage I cheated on a regular basis on my husband. I’m an alcoholic and have done drugs. This is all in the past now but I still hang onto the guilt. I have asked for forgiveness but have a lot of trouble forgiving myself. I will never feel as pure as other women in the church. I was married a second time and never cheated on him, he divorced me because of my mental illness. Since then I have been with many men. I lived with 2 different men without marriage. I now have HPV. I just don’t know if any man would ever be interested in me as a wife especially not in the Mormon church where I believe they would be even more unforgiving. I’m 62 now and feel I’m detined to spend the rest of my life alone. I have changed but still don’t feel good about myself. I haven’t sinned since I was baptised and confirmed.
3 Responses to “I sometimes wonder if I should belong to the Mormon…”
Miguel Miranda
2015-04-05 11:02:56
A life of sin can be cleansed and changed through the Atonement of Jesus Christ.
Hi sister. If I understand you correctly, you committed some serious sins in the past. You then abandoned your sins and chose to be baptized and confirmed as a member of the LDS Church. You've not returned to your sins since joining the church.
If that's correct, then it appears to me that your only major sin is that you haven't fully accepted the power of Christ's atonement in your life. God has forgiven you. You should forgive yourself too.
You're hardly the only person who struggles to forgive herself. Lot's of people, both in and out of the church, have this same struggle. But I agree with Elder Holland, one of our church's general leaders, who once said "It is not possible for you to sink lower than the infinite light of Christ's Atonement shines."
I also love these words from Isaiah: "Come now, and let us reason together, saith the Lord: though your sins be as scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they be red like crimson, they shall be as wool" (Isaiah 1:18). The miracle of forgiveness has already happened in your life. You've repented and changed. Now you need only accept that miracle.
God loves you so much, sister. I hope you can feel that love in your life. He has forgiven you, and you should forgive yourself too.
Anonymous
2015-04-07 03:04:13
If God does not forgive in the mormon church then I'm stuffed, I have a similar background to you apart from getting married twice I've only been married once, I have cheated heaps of times on girls in fact it got so bad that Iit was at least once a week, but since getting married I settled down, and if brothers can't accept you for who they are then should they be in the church? The problem lies with them not you, plus my wife is mentally ill and the brothers still accept her so please don't ever put yourself down, and just because they are from one religion or another does not give them the right to judge you or your past only God has that right, one verse I always remind myself of in times like these are, grass withers and flowers fade but the word of the Lord endures forever, what it says here Is your past is your past and it's over now
Anonymous
2015-04-05 18:04:25
Thank you so much for your comments Brother Gringo. That Bible passage keeps coming back to me. I think God is trying to tell me something. I probably should talk to the Bishop but I'm so embarrased to do so.
If that's correct, then it appears to me that your only major sin is that you haven't fully accepted the power of Christ's atonement in your life. God has forgiven you. You should forgive yourself too.
You're hardly the only person who struggles to forgive herself. Lot's of people, both in and out of the church, have this same struggle. But I agree with Elder Holland, one of our church's general leaders, who once said "It is not possible for you to sink lower than the infinite light of Christ's Atonement shines."
I also love these words from Isaiah: "Come now, and let us reason together, saith the Lord: though your sins be as scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they be red like crimson, they shall be as wool" (Isaiah 1:18). The miracle of forgiveness has already happened in your life. You've repented and changed. Now you need only accept that miracle.
God loves you so much, sister. I hope you can feel that love in your life. He has forgiven you, and you should forgive yourself too.