As a child I was baptized in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. I’m now 28 years old and have been inactive for a long time. Lately the missionaries have been visiting my family, and I really want to come back to the church, but there are some things that make me hesitate. I want to know your opinion. The first is that when the missionaries visit us, they pretty much ignore me. They focus mostly on my brother, telling him that it’s important that he return to the church so he can prepare to be a missionary and receive the priesthood. It gives me the impression that being a woman is not so important in the church, since I’m not encouraged like my brother is. They talk a lot to him, and they barely talk to me. The other thing that I don’t like at all is that when I went to a meeting once with other women members, they seemed to suggest that if I got married I’d need to quit my job to devote myself entirely to my husband and children. Actually I found this quite shocking. I’m not quite sure whether or not I’ll marry. Maybe I just haven’t met the right man, but the thought of leaving my job makes me reluctant to return to the church. I really enjoy studying, and I love working. I have never liked housework. I keep my house as clean as I can, but the thought of staying home all day cleaning and watching my kids seems unpleasant to me. I don’t mean to devalue these activities. Raising children is extremely important, and keeping a house is strenuous work, but I don’t know if that’s for me. If someday I have children I’ll give them all my love and try to raise them as best I can, but I’d hate to leave my job. Is it true that the church does not considered it proper for a married woman with children to work? Thanks for your help! (Question originally written in Spanish)
3 Responses to “As a child I was baptized in the Church of Jesus Christ of L…”
Mario Paz
2010-11-15 12:13:08
Hi Soly. I'm happy that you're interested in coming back to the Church! Unfortunately, it's impossible to know what the missionaries are thinking in your case. Perhaps they don't realize that you're interested in coming back to the church as well. Just so there isn't any confusion, the Church teaches that men and women are equally important in God's eyes. God loves both His sons and His daughters equally, and He wants all His children to receive the blessings that come from actively participating in His restored gospel. Remember that the missionaries are often young men who only recently left adolescence. If they are too socially awkward to help you come back to church, feel free to come back without their help! :)
There's no doctrinal rule in the church that a woman or a man must be married by a certain age. Though it's important to remember that perfect people don't exist, it's also a mistake to marry someone that doesn't meet your personal standards. If the right man hasn't come along yet, perhaps it's best to wait until he does.
Rasing children is much more important work than any profressional job a man or a woman could have outside the home. However, sometimes difficult financial situations require that both the father and the mother work outside the home to avoid poverty. Studies have shown that in the United States, for example, mormon women are just as likely to work outside of the home as any other group of women. The Church encourages women to get as much education as possible.
With careful planning, it's becoming easier for women to work without neglecting their children.
Married women who don't yet have children often work outside the home. I see no reason why they should stay at home all day.
In my opinion, women with young children should stay home unless financial concerns demand otherwise. That's why companies provide maternity leave. Maternal bonding is very important.
Some young children benefit from day care. I think excessive day care can interfere with parental bonding, but some day care is good for socialization. This may allow a mother to work part time.
When a child starts school, part time work for the mother becomes even more possible.
In recent years, I've known a number of mormon women who have started their own businesses, allowing them to work from home. I know an interior designer, a photographer, a web designer, etc. This kind of work provides a flexibility that's very compatible with motherhood.
Household chores are not related to raising children. In my opinion these chores should be divided between the husband and wife according to their free time. Both men and women are equally good at cleaning dishes.
I hope this answer helps! Being an active member of this church is the greatest blessing of my life, and I say that as someone who has a successful career. I wouldn't trade my membership in this church for anything.
Soly
2010-11-15 12:32:10
Members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints worldwide gather twice yearly for what they call "general conference."
Thank you very much for your reply, brother. It was very helpful. In fact, on Sunday I went to the biannual general conference and listened to the messages of the leaders of our church, including the prophet. They were wonderful words that filled me with peace. I felt God's spirit telling me to return to His church. Each of the messages had promises just for me. I won't miss this opportunity to return to the church... Thanks.
Anonymous
2010-11-18 23:52:43
If your uncomfortable coming out and saying "hey I am interested too" maybe you can start asking questions. You can request some of the dvds/ reading material and request to talk to the missionaries. Good luck on your journey.
There's no doctrinal rule in the church that a woman or a man must be married by a certain age. Though it's important to remember that perfect people don't exist, it's also a mistake to marry someone that doesn't meet your personal standards. If the right man hasn't come along yet, perhaps it's best to wait until he does.
Rasing children is much more important work than any profressional job a man or a woman could have outside the home. However, sometimes difficult financial situations require that both the father and the mother work outside the home to avoid poverty. Studies have shown that in the United States, for example, mormon women are just as likely to work outside of the home as any other group of women. The Church encourages women to get as much education as possible.
With careful planning, it's becoming easier for women to work without neglecting their children.
- Married women who don't yet have children often work outside the home. I see no reason why they should stay at home all day.
- In my opinion, women with young children should stay home unless financial concerns demand otherwise. That's why companies provide maternity leave. Maternal bonding is very important.
- Some young children benefit from day care. I think excessive day care can interfere with parental bonding, but some day care is good for socialization. This may allow a mother to work part time.
- When a child starts school, part time work for the mother becomes even more possible.
In recent years, I've known a number of mormon women who have started their own businesses, allowing them to work from home. I know an interior designer, a photographer, a web designer, etc. This kind of work provides a flexibility that's very compatible with motherhood.Household chores are not related to raising children. In my opinion these chores should be divided between the husband and wife according to their free time. Both men and women are equally good at cleaning dishes.
I hope this answer helps! Being an active member of this church is the greatest blessing of my life, and I say that as someone who has a successful career. I wouldn't trade my membership in this church for anything.