I am an active member of the church but my wife is disabled and cant go all the time. She has sacrament brought to the house by the Aaronic Priesthood when she cannot attend. We divorced some years back in order to make her eligible for healthcare, she has seizures, and we are still divorced but living together as if we were married, although we were married in the temple. Am I breaking the church’s law of chastity by living with her as if we were still married?
One Response to “I am an active member of the church but my wife is…”
Fernando Ramos
2012-10-06 21:09:14
Hi Redman. Thanks for your interesting question. As someone with a great interest in the medical system, I find your story compelling. I assume your wife is only eligible for government-sponsored healthcare (Medicaid?) if she is single. Just goes to show how broken our healthcare system is. Our society should have policies in place to encourage, not discourage, marriage. I'm sorry you've had to go through this doubtlessly frustrating situation.
The Church teaches that sexual relations are only acceptable when a man and woman are legally married. If you're not legally married to your wife, and you are having intimate relations with her, then I'm afraid you are breaking the law of chastity. I encourage you to try to resolve this situation. Other medical solutions include free clinics, discount programs through pharmaceutical companies, insurance that may be easier to obtain once pre-existing conditions can no longer be exclusionary, etc. That way the two of you could marry once again.
The situation is more complex when one is serving as a caregiver and there is no sexual intimacy. Generally, single men and woman should not live together. However, when one person is physically dependent on another, perhaps a case could be made. I once read a book written by a woman whose husband left her and contracted AIDS before the modern medications that today help so much. She eventually let him return to their home and cared for him until he died. They were not intimate, but they did live together for a time, even though they were not married. Perhaps a similar case could be made for you and your wife? Your bishop or branch president will be able to provide better counsel for your specific situation.
One thing is certain, though. Regardless of whether or not you are breaking the law of chastity, you are welcome to continue worshiping with us. There may be some limitations until you prepare yourself properly by resolving your marital situation, but you'll always be welcome.
I hope this answer helps! What a complex situation you're in. God bless you during these challenging times.
The Church teaches that sexual relations are only acceptable when a man and woman are legally married. If you're not legally married to your wife, and you are having intimate relations with her, then I'm afraid you are breaking the law of chastity. I encourage you to try to resolve this situation. Other medical solutions include free clinics, discount programs through pharmaceutical companies, insurance that may be easier to obtain once pre-existing conditions can no longer be exclusionary, etc. That way the two of you could marry once again.
The situation is more complex when one is serving as a caregiver and there is no sexual intimacy. Generally, single men and woman should not live together. However, when one person is physically dependent on another, perhaps a case could be made. I once read a book written by a woman whose husband left her and contracted AIDS before the modern medications that today help so much. She eventually let him return to their home and cared for him until he died. They were not intimate, but they did live together for a time, even though they were not married. Perhaps a similar case could be made for you and your wife? Your bishop or branch president will be able to provide better counsel for your specific situation.
One thing is certain, though. Regardless of whether or not you are breaking the law of chastity, you are welcome to continue worshiping with us. There may be some limitations until you prepare yourself properly by resolving your marital situation, but you'll always be welcome.
I hope this answer helps! What a complex situation you're in. God bless you during these challenging times.