I don’t know what to do. I’ve been disfellowshipped from the church because I committed adultery. In six months or so I’ll have completed the repentance process. I love my husband a lot. I don’t want to lose him. I’ve been trying my best, but I can’t forget that I was dishonest with him. I don’t feel good at his side because of what I’ve done. Now I’m worried because I think I might be pregnant. My husband told me that as long as we’re married, all of my children were also his. He accepts them. But I can’t forget. My bishop told me that now I need to try to be the kind of wife that Heavenly Father always expected me to be. My husband was also told to work hard on our marriage. He’s a very good person, and I love him a lot, but the problems I had have blinded my eyes. Every day I ask my husband to forgive me. I can’t forget what I did to him. I feel like the worst woman on earth.
Hi friend. I'm happy you posted your question here. You've made a terrible mistake in your life, but your husband is willing to stay with you just the same. You are very fortunate to have so forgiving a husband. I wish the both of you the best of luck. I hope your marriage will prosper.
You mentioned in your message that you feel like you're the worst woman in the world. Guilt is a very interesting emotion. Sometimes God gives us feelings of guilt so that we will be motivated to repent and to make our lives right. Since you are currently going through the repentance process, it may be that the guilt you feel is a healthy guilt that will help you become a better person. However, sometimes guilt is not productive. Sometimes we feel guilty about things we cannot control or because of past sins that we have already overcome. In these cases, guilt does not come from God. In fact, unproductive guilt can make it harder to connect with our Heavenly Father. You should feel guilty just as long as it takes for you to recover spiritually, and not for one moment longer.
It's also important to distinguish between guilt and shame. We feel guilt when we have done something that is terrible. We feel shame when we think that we personally are terrible. It's appropriate to feel bad when we make poor decisions, but we should never question our personal value as children of God.
I'm happy that you have the courage to pass through this important repentance process, sister. You've made mistakes, but I don't doubt for a moment that you can be made spiritually whole through the atonement of our Savior Jesus Christ. God bless you.
Pamela Bonta
2013-01-15 18:54:09
Through the sacrifice of Jesus Christ, we can overcome sin and death. (Reflections of Christ)
Your husband has forgiven you. When the repentance process is done, the Lord will have forgiven you. If those two peeople can forgive you, you should forgive yourself, too. It can be hard. It will be hard. The fact that you feel that way you do is indicative of how sorrowful you are about what you did.
Talk to your husband about how you feel. Ask him to help you. Ask him for a priesthood blessing to help you to forgive yourself. Put your name on the temple prayer roll. Pray mightily on your knees for the strength and the courage to forgive yourself and put the past behind you. Don't let Satan keep you back from being the Daughter of God that you are. My prayers are with you, and God bless.
Jeanie Leit Taylor And
2012-12-24 08:41:03
Your bishop is correct in saying that you BOTH need to work on your marriage but a healthy marriage requires 2 healthy individuals making a joint commitment to face life together. If you are not spiritually healthy as a person, how can you expect to have a healthy marriage? You can't! No matter how 'good' your spouse may be. But the answer doesn't lie in leaving the marriage, it lies in getting spiritually healthy ON YOUR OWN! You are right to apologize to your husband, because you have betrayed his trust, but you need to also look into a mirror and apologize to yourself, because the primary betrayal is to yourself, as a precious daughter of God with a divine mission to fulfill here on earth. You obviously don't know what that mission is, yet.
I believe that if you can put yourself into spiritual condition sufficient to discover your unique purpose in life, everything else will fall into place. Even if it doesn't appear to by external circumstances, you will always have an inner peace, which you currently lack. You need to feel GOD'S arms around you and HIS incredible and emcompassing love for you. So immerse yourself in daily prayer and scriptures! Surround yourself with positive images and thoughts. As soon as a negative thought enters your mind, just say 'Stop! Erase! Cancel!' and reframe that thought with it's opposite, aloud!
Jw Anderson
2013-01-21 10:03:20
Through the sacrifice of Jesus Christ, we can overcome sin and death. (Reflections of Christ)
Repentance and forgiveness are two lanes on the straight and narrow going the same direction. One lane is yours and the other lane is God's. The repentance "process" is different for us, as mortals, than it is for Heavenly Father, in that as soon as you ask Him, sincerely, for forgiveness, He grants it. The process of forgiving ourselves involves not only with the guilt factor we harbor for what we know we have done, but, a profound wonder at God's seeming ease with which He is willing to forgive and forget our sin.
"How could he do that?" is a question that you might pose about another mortal, but, God is not another mortal. He understands forgiveness so perfectly that He is able to bestow it in a way that we will never understand in this estate. Our task is not to comprehend His mercy, but to accept it and do all we can to emulate it.
Having the faith to accept Heavenly Father's forgiveness is the easy part. Forgiving yourself is truly the cross and burden you have to bear. An unwavering acceptance of the former will make the latter easier to overcome and the issue should never be remembered without both factors weighed and pondered.
Pray in gratitude for His forgiveness, for your own willingness to forgive yourself, to be the person He wants you to be and for the wisdom to accept and understand His way.
You mentioned in your message that you feel like you're the worst woman in the world. Guilt is a very interesting emotion. Sometimes God gives us feelings of guilt so that we will be motivated to repent and to make our lives right. Since you are currently going through the repentance process, it may be that the guilt you feel is a healthy guilt that will help you become a better person. However, sometimes guilt is not productive. Sometimes we feel guilty about things we cannot control or because of past sins that we have already overcome. In these cases, guilt does not come from God. In fact, unproductive guilt can make it harder to connect with our Heavenly Father. You should feel guilty just as long as it takes for you to recover spiritually, and not for one moment longer.
It's also important to distinguish between guilt and shame. We feel guilt when we have done something that is terrible. We feel shame when we think that we personally are terrible. It's appropriate to feel bad when we make poor decisions, but we should never question our personal value as children of God.
I'm happy that you have the courage to pass through this important repentance process, sister. You've made mistakes, but I don't doubt for a moment that you can be made spiritually whole through the atonement of our Savior Jesus Christ. God bless you.
Talk to your husband about how you feel. Ask him to help you. Ask him for a priesthood blessing to help you to forgive yourself. Put your name on the temple prayer roll. Pray mightily on your knees for the strength and the courage to forgive yourself and put the past behind you. Don't let Satan keep you back from being the Daughter of God that you are. My prayers are with you, and God bless.
I believe that if you can put yourself into spiritual condition sufficient to discover your unique purpose in life, everything else will fall into place. Even if it doesn't appear to by external circumstances, you will always have an inner peace, which you currently lack. You need to feel GOD'S arms around you and HIS incredible and emcompassing love for you. So immerse yourself in daily prayer and scriptures! Surround yourself with positive images and thoughts. As soon as a negative thought enters your mind, just say 'Stop! Erase! Cancel!' and reframe that thought with it's opposite, aloud!
"How could he do that?" is a question that you might pose about another mortal, but, God is not another mortal. He understands forgiveness so perfectly that He is able to bestow it in a way that we will never understand in this estate. Our task is not to comprehend His mercy, but to accept it and do all we can to emulate it.
Having the faith to accept Heavenly Father's forgiveness is the easy part. Forgiving yourself is truly the cross and burden you have to bear. An unwavering acceptance of the former will make the latter easier to overcome and the issue should never be remembered without both factors weighed and pondered.
Pray in gratitude for His forgiveness, for your own willingness to forgive yourself, to be the person He wants you to be and for the wisdom to accept and understand His way.