I’m a young woman, 19 years old, who has been inactive for a year. I don’t feel like I have the strength to come back, even though my heart compels me to return. I could never deny that the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is true. I feel so bad. I’ve sinned with my boyfriend, who is not a member and doesn’t want to know anything about the church. Unfortunately, I love my boyfriend with all my heart, even though I wish I could start my life over without him. I would like to be like I was before. I would have liked to have finished my personal progress and to have received my young women medallion, but I couldn’t and now I never will because I am not virtuous and I don’t deserve it. I feel like my Heavenly Father doesn’t listen to my prayers anymore because I am a fraud, I failed him, and he doesn’t love me anymore. I want to come back to the church also because of my mother, who is the most faithful woman I know. I feel bad because of my sins, and because I haven’t told her. I want to repent and come back to church and speak with my bishop, but I don’t want my mom to know what I did because it would kill her with anguish. I want to have a strong testimony and to be married in the temple, so I can make sacred covenants with God. I miss the person I once was.
2 Responses to “I’m a young woman, 19 years old, who has been inactive for a…”
Diego Leal
2010-03-08 00:32:36
A statue of Jesus Christ at temple square in Salt Lake City.
Hi Elizabeth. Your message really touched me. I can tell you feel the anguish that comes from serious sin. Many don't realize that guilt is actually a great blessing because it compels us to change and better our lives. You wrote that your "heart compels you to return." I can tell that the Holy Ghost is influencing you, trying to help you do the right thing.
Even though guilt is a blessing, if we are not careful Satan can pervert guilt and use it as a weapon against us. Satan tells sinners that they are lost, that God no longer loves them, that they can never repent and can never again be worthy of God's blessings. These are lies! With help from your bishop, you can always repent through the atonement of Jesus Christ. You can always come back to the church. Even serious sins can be forgiven through Jesus Christ. I have no doubt that God still loves you and wants you to come back to His church.
Elder Uchtdorf, one of the twelve apostles, recently gave an excellent talk entitled "Point of Safe Return." I'd like to invite you to read or listen to that talk.
A missionary hugging a bishop in Aracaju, Sergipe, Brazil.
If you need help coming back to the church, I suggest you talk with the Mormon missionaries. Missionaries do much more than just baptize people. They also help less-active members to come back to the church. I'm sure they would be happy to help you. May God bless you, sister. I hope you make the changes in your life that will lead to greater spiritual peace.
Bree
2010-06-14 05:21:57
Heavenly Father still loves you, no matter what he wants you to come back. I promise you he doesn't want you to hate yourself or feel like a failure. He wants you to recognize your mistakes, and repent and come back to him. He loves you and he does listen to your prayers. My heart goes out to you, because I've felt so terrible about myself, I hated myself. The feeling was terrible, like I could never get out. I never broke the law of chastity or anything that serious, but I felt like an idiot for not thinking it out better. I'm grateful for the atonement because it saved me from going crazy and gave me peace. I'm so grateful for the atonement, and the peace it gives to know that I can be forgiven, every time I make a wrong choice. It can help you to, if you let it, and truly repent as you clearly want to. God bless you, and good luck
Even though guilt is a blessing, if we are not careful Satan can pervert guilt and use it as a weapon against us. Satan tells sinners that they are lost, that God no longer loves them, that they can never repent and can never again be worthy of God's blessings. These are lies! With help from your bishop, you can always repent through the atonement of Jesus Christ. You can always come back to the church. Even serious sins can be forgiven through Jesus Christ. I have no doubt that God still loves you and wants you to come back to His church.
Elder Uchtdorf, one of the twelve apostles, recently gave an excellent talk entitled "Point of Safe Return." I'd like to invite you to read or listen to that talk.