Hi, I’m 16 years old and I recently made a bif mistake. I committed a sexual sin with a girl, but we were not in a relationship. I want to repent, but I’m scared. If me and this girl only touched each other (with our hands) how long will my process of repentance probably be? (estimate) will I lose my position as 1st assistant? Me and my bishop have a strong relation ship, I would even call us friends. I want to repent more than anything, I’m just scared of parents finding out and people knowing if lose my placeas first assistant to the bishop in our priest quorum
3 Responses to “Hi, I’m 16 years old and I recently made a bif mistake. I co…”
Richard
2011-05-23 21:54:00
I am sorry for your fears, they are realistic fears, but the only thing to fear is fear itself. I cannot say what, or how your Bishop will react to your transgression. BUT you do need to council with him, and repent before it is allowed to go any further.
Be smart and stay in a safe place away from this girl when by yourself, if in a group STAY in your group!
Don't worry about anyone else and what they Might think. I know you're still young and peer pressure is hard, but you just need to worry about what God thinks (which is He is your greatest fan and wants you back with Him) and act in a way that is pleasing to Him. (and in the way you know how to act)... Learn from your mistake and set up boundaries so that you are never placed in the situation again. Remember: "If you need to be strong, you're not being smart".. Don't be strong, be smart.
Read the talk forgiving oneself by Chad D Richardson (linked here - http://lds.org/ensign/2007/03/forgiving-oneself?lang=eng ) and get in with your bishop and get this finished and removed from your life, ASAP... Seek if you need help form LDS Family services (bishop can hook you up)
LAST if you have stopped get back to reading your Book of Mormon.. President Benson promised if we read it 1/2 hour a day we "will have miracles in your life"
I am glad you posted this, and I was able to answer. FYI - I DIDN'T stop when I was 16 and my life snowballed out of control. I missed a mission and many other service opportunities, don't let that happen to you! (I'm 34 now and I missed out on 18 years of really living with the church)
James
2011-05-24 13:58:07
Hello Anonymous,
I hope that I can be of some assistance, and I would also like to clarify a few things for you.
First, you are not alone. Everyone makes mistakes. This, I can promise you. What a blessing you have been given to have the desire to repent. This desire comes from the Holy Ghost, along with feelings of guilt that we experience when we make mistakes. In a way, we are being prompted to turn back to the Lord, ask for his forgiveness, and forsake the path that our actions have taken us down. Satan will try to tell you otherwise, but the Lord always stands ready for us to turn back towards Him.
The advice that I would like to give to you is, follow this desire to repent. As surely as everyone makes mistakes, I can also promise you that there is no feeling of relief quite like going through the proper process of repentance.
The difficult thing about repentance is not what the Lord requires us to do in order to obtain forgiveness, it is convincing ourselves, the natural man, that repentance is what the Lord wants for us and what we should want for ourselves.
I know what it is like to be scared to confess a sin to the Bishop. You need to realize that this fear comes from Satan, who does not want you to repent.
The time for the repentance process is different for every circumstance, for every individual, with every ecclesiastical leader. So, no one will be able to tell you " Sin 'A' + Bishop 'B' = Time X. " However, that is part of the humbling process required by the Lord to receive forgiveness. That is, to receive true forgiveness, we must be willing to accept the consequence for our actions, no matter what that consequence is. Sometimes, that is not partaking of the Sacrament for some time. Other times, there is no "formal" discipline required.
Since we are on this topic, you must not be afraid of parents or other finding out. Your Bishop will keep things confidential, though he may ask you to talk to your parents, only so that they can help you out. And I promise, parents want to help their children out more than anything in the world when it comes to situations like this. Even though, they may seem upset or disappointed, their love and concern runs much deeper than that. They only want what is best for you, and in this case, to help prevent a problem with sexual sin leading to more serious sexual sins later in life. Trust me.
The fact that you have a strong relationship already with your Bishop is already a great thing. I encourage you to take advantage of this relationship, talk with your Bishop about your mistake, but more importantly your feelings about your mistake. Let your Bishop help you.
My mission President used to share this scripture with all of us missionaries. Mosiah 26: 29 reads, "Therefore I say unto you, Go; and whosoever transgresseth against me, him shall ye judge according to the sins which he has committed; and if he confess his sins before thee and me, and repenteth in the sincerity of his heart, him shall ye forgive, and I will forgive him also.
You can do it! And it will be worth it, no matter the outcome.
All of these serious things being said, I cannot guarantee the consequence, or how the process will go for you, but from my experience, you probably won't get released from your calling. Just saying.
I strongly encourage you to go speak with your bishop and being the process of repentance. It is the only way and you will learn some great lessons about the Lord and his mercy along the way. You will learn from a young age to turn to the Lord and to his chosen leaders. You will also learn what it means to recognize, follow, and receive the blessings of following the promptings of the spirit. These things I can promise you, and I wish you all the best.
Remember, now is the time to prepare. You will also be doing yourself a great service by preparing for a mission now, rather than waiting to confess certain sins when time is short.
You can do it! All the best, James
Anonymous
2011-05-29 18:13:17
Dear anonymous, My brother is currently going though the dame exact thing. It's not a scary as you think, and I'm sure your parents are willing to help you through this. After my brother told the bishop, he said thathe cn not pass or partake of the sacrement for a while (I'm not positive how long), just talk to your bishop,I promise it's not as scary as you may think. And the bishop will be able to tell you everything you know. Best of luck to you!
Be smart and stay in a safe place away from this girl when by yourself, if in a group STAY in your group!
Don't worry about anyone else and what they Might think. I know you're still young and peer pressure is hard, but you just need to worry about what God thinks (which is He is your greatest fan and wants you back with Him) and act in a way that is pleasing to Him. (and in the way you know how to act)... Learn from your mistake and set up boundaries so that you are never placed in the situation again. Remember: "If you need to be strong, you're not being smart".. Don't be strong, be smart.
Read the talk forgiving oneself by Chad D Richardson (linked here - http://lds.org/ensign/2007/03/forgiving-oneself?lang=eng ) and get in with your bishop and get this finished and removed from your life, ASAP... Seek if you need help form LDS Family services (bishop can hook you up)
LAST if you have stopped get back to reading your Book of Mormon.. President Benson promised if we read it 1/2 hour a day we "will have miracles in your life"
I am glad you posted this, and I was able to answer. FYI - I DIDN'T stop when I was 16 and my life snowballed out of control. I missed a mission and many other service opportunities, don't let that happen to you! (I'm 34 now and I missed out on 18 years of really living with the church)
I hope that I can be of some assistance, and I would also like to clarify a few things for you.
First, you are not alone. Everyone makes mistakes. This, I can promise you. What a blessing you have been given to have the desire to repent. This desire comes from the Holy Ghost, along with feelings of guilt that we experience when we make mistakes. In a way, we are being prompted to turn back to the Lord, ask for his forgiveness, and forsake the path that our actions have taken us down. Satan will try to tell you otherwise, but the Lord always stands ready for us to turn back towards Him.
The advice that I would like to give to you is, follow this desire to repent. As surely as everyone makes mistakes, I can also promise you that there is no feeling of relief quite like going through the proper process of repentance.
The difficult thing about repentance is not what the Lord requires us to do in order to obtain forgiveness, it is convincing ourselves, the natural man, that repentance is what the Lord wants for us and what we should want for ourselves.
I know what it is like to be scared to confess a sin to the Bishop. You need to realize that this fear comes from Satan, who does not want you to repent.
The time for the repentance process is different for every circumstance, for every individual, with every ecclesiastical leader. So, no one will be able to tell you " Sin 'A' + Bishop 'B' = Time X. " However, that is part of the humbling process required by the Lord to receive forgiveness. That is, to receive true forgiveness, we must be willing to accept the consequence for our actions, no matter what that consequence is. Sometimes, that is not partaking of the Sacrament for some time. Other times, there is no "formal" discipline required.
Since we are on this topic, you must not be afraid of parents or other finding out. Your Bishop will keep things confidential, though he may ask you to talk to your parents, only so that they can help you out. And I promise, parents want to help their children out more than anything in the world when it comes to situations like this. Even though, they may seem upset or disappointed, their love and concern runs much deeper than that. They only want what is best for you, and in this case, to help prevent a problem with sexual sin leading to more serious sexual sins later in life. Trust me.
The fact that you have a strong relationship already with your Bishop is already a great thing. I encourage you to take advantage of this relationship, talk with your Bishop about your mistake, but more importantly your feelings about your mistake. Let your Bishop help you.
My mission President used to share this scripture with all of us missionaries. Mosiah 26: 29 reads, "Therefore I say unto you, Go; and whosoever transgresseth against me, him shall ye judge according to the sins which he has committed; and if he confess his sins before thee and me, and repenteth in the sincerity of his heart, him shall ye forgive, and I will forgive him also.
You can do it! And it will be worth it, no matter the outcome.
All of these serious things being said, I cannot guarantee the consequence, or how the process will go for you, but from my experience, you probably won't get released from your calling. Just saying.
I strongly encourage you to go speak with your bishop and being the process of repentance. It is the only way and you will learn some great lessons about the Lord and his mercy along the way. You will learn from a young age to turn to the Lord and to his chosen leaders. You will also learn what it means to recognize, follow, and receive the blessings of following the promptings of the spirit. These things I can promise you, and I wish you all the best.
Remember, now is the time to prepare. You will also be doing yourself a great service by preparing for a mission now, rather than waiting to confess certain sins when time is short.
You can do it! All the best, James
My brother is currently going though the dame exact thing. It's not a scary as you think, and I'm sure your parents are willing to help you through this. After my brother told the bishop, he said thathe cn not pass or partake of the sacrement for a while (I'm not positive how long), just talk to your bishop,I promise it's not as scary as you may think. And the bishop will be able to tell you everything you know. Best of luck to you!