I am only 14 years old. I wish I could take the past several years of my life. Let meat art from the beginning. I have committed two horrible sins. The first one is swearing and the second one deals deeply with the law of chastity. As I write this, I am bawling and I feel like I have no where in my life to go. In fifth grade, I started swearing. I felt really horribl. It started out small and now it is a really big problem. I then started listening to explicit music and so forth. I have been trying really hard to stop and I don’t want to tell my parents or bishop. The second thing, which I feel WAY WAY worse about begins a long time ago, but severely 3 years ago. When I was a little boy, I had touched other boy’s private parts. I am pretty sure I was molested. I had forgotten about these experiences until I was 11. I was at a school event when my friend asked me if I masturbated. I said, “no”. At the time I didn’t. I went home, curious and began masturbating and I have ever since. This has recently led me to pornography and I feel horrible about it all. The worst part is that I have done sexual things with my brother. I feel miserable and I REALLY REALLY want to repent but I am arrears to tell anyone and to let my parents down. I have let the Lord down. I LOVE 5the gospel and I want to come back. I know what I did is wrong, but I want to feel okay with myself really really badly. I know I should talk to bishop and parents, bu I am too scared. What should I do?! Help me out!
2 Responses to “I am only 14 years old. I wish I could take the past several…”
Mateo Ramos
2011-10-31 03:37:37
Through the atoning sacrifice of Jesus Christ, we can be freed from our sins.
Hi friend. You're right that swearing is a problem, but I'm going to focus on the more serious of the sins you describe. While it is true that young children are sometimes curious about each others' private parts, it sounds like what you've done was sexual in nature and happened when you were a bit older. This is a very serious concern, especially if it is ongoing. You need to talk with your parents about this immediately so they can protect your siblings. As you apparently struggle to control your own actions, do not trust that you can stop this on your own. Get your parents involved right away so they can help you.
Once your siblings are properly protected, you should start worrying about your own spiritual development. Put any shame and fear aside and speak with your bishop. No desire to keep your sin a secret from your bishop is worth going through the spiritual nightmare you're experiencing now. You need spiritual relief, and that's only going to come through the atonement of Jesus Christ. The bishop will play a critical role in helping you through the repentance process. If I were in your shoes, I would run to my bishop's office. You desperately need his help.
Children who are exposed to sexuality at a young age often develop psychiatric challenges. When you talk to your parents about what's happened, tell them that you need psychiatric help as well as spiritual help. With help from your parents, your bishop, a psychiatrist, and, most importantly, the Lord, you can heal your whole person.
Don't delay, brother. I want you to make this right. I want you to get your life back on the right path. Good luck.
Richard
2011-11-01 03:00:18
Jesus Christ is central to The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, which bears His name.
I took a different path, but ended up at the same destination. Go to your Bishop, tell parents and get involved in the LDS Addition recovery program. (ARP)
Start reading the scriptures DAILY (hard at first, but it will get better I promise)(and pray before and after you read). Go to LDS.org and look up a few talks:
And don't give up!!!... Sexual self stimulation (masturbation) trigers your brain to release a cocktail of chemicals which ARE addictive... You will need to stop acting out and never give up... You will struggle on your path back But Christ has you covered and He is ready to win with you, and for you... Turn your life over to Him and let Him call the shots... It will take time but you can do it... I am free now after 26 years, you will do it MUCH faster (I'm disbled you are not)(and I started really fighting against what became my addiciton in 2006). So actual recovery time, with OUR Savior... 5 years... Now it's just continual vigialance and coming to Him daily if not moment to moement.
We are not sent here to fail, but through Christ we are more than conquerers if WE will come to Him!
Once your siblings are properly protected, you should start worrying about your own spiritual development. Put any shame and fear aside and speak with your bishop. No desire to keep your sin a secret from your bishop is worth going through the spiritual nightmare you're experiencing now. You need spiritual relief, and that's only going to come through the atonement of Jesus Christ. The bishop will play a critical role in helping you through the repentance process. If I were in your shoes, I would run to my bishop's office. You desperately need his help.
Children who are exposed to sexuality at a young age often develop psychiatric challenges. When you talk to your parents about what's happened, tell them that you need psychiatric help as well as spiritual help. With help from your parents, your bishop, a psychiatrist, and, most importantly, the Lord, you can heal your whole person.
Don't delay, brother. I want you to make this right. I want you to get your life back on the right path. Good luck.
Start reading the scriptures DAILY (hard at first, but it will get better I promise)(and pray before and after you read). Go to LDS.org and look up a few talks:
Bruce Hafen "Beauty for Ashes"; Shayne Bowen "The atonement can clean, reclaim, and sanctify your life"; Dallen Oaks "He heals the heavy Laden"
And don't give up!!!... Sexual self stimulation (masturbation) trigers your brain to release a cocktail of chemicals which ARE addictive... You will need to stop acting out and never give up... You will struggle on your path back But Christ has you covered and He is ready to win with you, and for you... Turn your life over to Him and let Him call the shots... It will take time but you can do it... I am free now after 26 years, you will do it MUCH faster (I'm disbled you are not)(and I started really fighting against what became my addiciton in 2006). So actual recovery time, with OUR Savior... 5 years... Now it's just continual vigialance and coming to Him daily if not moment to moement.
We are not sent here to fail, but through Christ we are more than conquerers if WE will come to Him!