All About Mormons

Note: A good friend of mine is trying to help his brother better understand certain aspects of Mormon history. My friend has done a great job thoroughly researching these issues. He gave me permission to publish some of his comments. I hope they help others as well!

By way of background, this letter discusses the early Mormon practice of “polygamy,” or “plural marriage.” Mormons abandoned polygamy over 100 years ago, and any Mormon found practicing polygamy today is excommunicated form the church. Nevertheless, it’s an understandably troubling aspect of Mormon history that concerns some people.

The history surrounding Joseph Smith’s implementation of polygamy is in some ways uncertain. Joseph, the first Mormon prophet, may have seen these “plural marriages” as nothing more than spiritual connections. Little evidence exists that the first polygamist Mormon marriages were sexual.

Joseph Smith was the first president of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. He received a message from God to restore Christ's ancient church in modern times.

This message is in response to the text you sent last night about Polygamy/Polyandry and Joseph Smith.

I’d be happy to sit down and share my thoughts with you directly if you’d like. I recognize that we have opposing views on the subject, but if you’re willing to openly listen to what I believe and understand then I’m willing to do the same for you. Below are some initial thoughts.

I’m made my peace with the whole polygamy issue and Joseph Smith. I’m no expert, but I’ve done more research (with a prayerful heart and a believing eye) and found the answers I needed (confirmation of the Holy Ghost after intellectual study). The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is still true. Joseph Smith was a true prophet. An imperfect man, commanded of God to do his very best in an extremely difficult environment; socially, politically, emotionally, & religiously.

After studying (ie: including excellent books like Richard Bushman’s “Rough Stone Rolling”) and pondering all the information I found, my testimony in Joseph Smith as a prophet is stronger than ever. Truly. I’ve found the words of Elder Uchtdorf during the October 2013 General Conference to be incredibly true for me:

“Sometimes there is a difference of opinion as to what the ‘facts’ really mean. A question that creates doubt in some can, after careful investigation, build faith in others.”

https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2013/10/come-join-with-us?lang=eng

I count myself among those that have found their faith built up not torn down regarding the issues you seem to find disturbing.

I strongly suggest you consider the sources and filters of your information. If you seek out only those with a strong negative bias toward the subject matter, you’ll not understand these issues objectively. It’s like going to talk with a Jewish Rabbi about the “truth” in Christianity. Biblical truth unfortunately often depends on who/how it’s interpreted. The Spirit ultimately confirms the truth. Perhaps you might consider trying, with real intent, to prove something “right” first? You accuse me of leaning on LDS apologetics as if “apologetics” is a dirty word. It’s not. It just means “defending the faith” and there are some amazingly well done, well researched, well written, truthful answers to ALL your concerns…if you are sincere, humble and desirous to find them. Ultimately however, it’s between you and God, like I’ve said before… seek God not man.

Critics of the church argue that Polygamy is unbiblical. That Joseph Smith only did it for sex. This is false. Whenever God commands his people to do something they do it. An objective person must admit that righteous prophets in the Old Testament were not entirely monogamous. These prophets received visions and were in high standing with God. Why the double standard? Polygamy is marriage wherein the husband cares for his wives. Adulterers do not have such a commitment.

The video’s author denounces Joseph Smith based on his interpretation (presumably the absolute Christian interpretation) of the Bible. Mixing this interpretation while twisting and misinterpreting the words of modern apostles to his own use.

For example, he makes the statement that God “tolerated” polygamy among the Old Testament prophets. Tolerated? There is no biblical proof that God only “tolerated” polygamy among Abraham, Isaac, Jacob, Moses, Solomon, David…etc. The opposite is far more likely (He supported/commanded it) to be true. Where exactly does it say that God “tolerated” polygamy in the Old Testament? It doesn’t. Private interpretation. Since when does God “tolerate” serious sin (if polygamy for them was a sin)? How could God support these prophets for sooooooo long if they were committing such a vile act against Him?

“And Nathan said to David, Thou art the man. Thus saith the Lord God of Israel, I anointed thee king over Israel, and I delivered thee out of the hand of Saul; And I gave thee thy master’s house, and thy master’s wives into thy bosom, and gave thee the house of Israel and of Judah; and if that had been too little, I would moreover have given unto thee such and such things.” (2 Samuel 12:7-8)

“David’s wives and concubines were given unto him of me, by the hand of Nathan, my servant, and others of the prophets who had the keys of this power; and in none of these things did he sin against me save in the case of Uriah and his wife; and, therefore he hath fallen from his exaltation, and received his portion; and he shall not inherit them out of the world, for I gave them unto another, saith the Lord.” (D&C 132:39).

Seemingly Jacob 2:24 indicates a contradiction in that is says that David and Solomon “truly had many wives and concubines, which thing was abominable before me, saith the Lord”. However, in verse 30 of the same chapter it says “For if I will, saith the Lord of Hosts, raise up seed unto me, I will command my people; otherwise they shall hearken unto these things”. Notice in the verse that Abraham was NOT included. The true abomination was not in having many wives (because they were given by the Lord) but in David’s arrangement for the death of a married man in order to add his wife to his “harem”. David and Solomon legally married their wives but “abominably” built temples to each of their pagan idols (1 Kings 11:2). This was the warning against the Nephites. They were starting to engage in idolatry as a result of plural marriages, so the Lord commanded monogamy. If the Lord commands his people to engage either in monogamy OR polygamy, then he expects obedience. Monogamy was the usual practice, but in certain instances God commanded polygamy.

There are, of course, several verses in the New Testament that indicate the allowance of “one wife”. What God commands at any given time is correct. See D&C 132. In latter times and now in our current day we are commanded to practice monogamy.

“Now Sarai Abram’s wife bare him no children: and she had an handmaid, an Egyptian, whose name was Hagar. And Sarai said unto Abram, Behold now, the Lord hath restrained me from bearing: I pray thee, go in unto my maid; it may be that I may obtain children by her. And Abram hearkened to the voice of Sarai. And Sarai Abram’s wife took Hagar her maid the Egyptian, after Abram had dwelt ten years in the land of Canaan, and gave her to her husband Abram to be his wife. And he went in unto Hagar, and she conceived: and when she saw that she had conceived, her mistress was despised in her eyes. And Sarai said unto Abram, My wrong be upon thee: I have given my maid into thy bosom; and when she saw that she had conceived, I was despised in her eyes: the Lord judge between me and thee. But Abram said unto Sarai, Behold, thy maid is in thy hand; do to her as it pleaseth thee. And when Sarai dealt hardly with her, she fled from her face. And the angel of the Lord found her by a fountain of water in the wilderness, by the fountain in the way to Shur. And he said, Hagar, Sarai’s maid, whence camest thou? and whither wilt thou go? And she said, I flee from the face of my mistress Sarai. And the angel of the Lord said unto her, Return to thy mistress, and submit thyself under her hands. And the angel of the Lord said unto her, I will multiply thy seed exceedingly, that it shall not be numbered for multitude. And the angel of the Lord said unto her, Behold, thou art with child, and shalt bear a son, and shalt call his name Ishmael; because the Lord hath heard thy affliction.” (Genesis 16:1-11)

Hagar was given to Abraham as a plural wife. If it was not supported by the Lord, why would He then send an angel to Hagar to comfort her and tell her that “I will multiply thy seed exceedingly, that it shall not be numbered for multitude”. Both Hagar and Abraham were blessed by this union and shared in the covenant God made with Abraham to multiply his seed to be without number, etc.

“And God remembered Rachel, and God hearkened to her, and opened her womb. And she conceived, and bare a son; and said, God hath taken away my reproach: And she called his name Joseph; and said, The Lord shall add to me another son.”
(Genesis 30:22-24)

Rachel was Jacob’s second wife. Favored by both Jacob and the Lord she bore Joseph…a righteous leader of the House of Israel. God’s purposes were brought about once again through polygamy.

OK…now jumping to modern times and Joseph Smith. I learned a lot from “Rough Stone Rolling”. Way too much to write here. That book, I feel, is honest to all the facts about Joseph Smith. Below is an attempt to sum up and highlight (the best I can) a very few interesting points I found in the book:

Joseph began practicing plural marriage around 1833. Revealed to him by the Lord when Joseph inquired about the practice in the Old Testament (See D&C 132). Joseph Smith understood the plural marriage as a religious principle. Part of the ushering in of the second coming.

It wasn’t about sex or creating a “harem” of women. It was about creating a heavenly bond. Joseph never denied his relationship (marriage) to Fanny Alger. His first plural wife? Her parents “considered it the highest honor to have their daughter adopted into the Prophet’s family, and her mother has always claimed that [Fanny] was sealed to Joseph at that time”. If it was about sex and intimacy why then did Fanny, in September of 1836 have no trouble remarrying in order to pursue a mortal family and romantic relationship? She moved with her parents to Indiana not long after marrying Joseph. Tight romantic relationship? I don’t think so. There she married Solomon Custer. When her parents moved on, Alger remained in Indiana with her husband. She bore nine children (with Solomon). She never bore any children to Joseph Smith. After Joseph’s death, Alger’s brother asked her about her relationship with the Prophet. She replied “That is all a matter of my–own. And I have nothing to communicate”.

We know that Joseph Smith was able to father children. Emma Smith became pregnant several times. Many of their children died at a young age. Joseph III was the first child of Emma and Joseph Smith’s to survive to adulthood. If Joseph’s practice of plural marriage was all about sex, why were there no other children outside of his original marriage to Emma?

“Everything he did, he often said, was patterned after the order of Heaven” (p 437).

“Joseph never wrote his personal feelings about plural marriage. Save for the revelation given in the voice of God, everything on the subject comes from the people around him. But surely he realized that plural marriage would inflict terrible damage, that he ran the risk of wrecking his marriage and alienating his followers” (p 438). Why would he do this unless he felt committed to obedience to a personal commandment given from God?

He seemed very reluctant many times over many years. His wife Emma at times didn’t support the idea. He only pushed on because he was commanded to do so. Part of the “restoration of all things”? The culmination of past dispensations and priesthood keys including those of the Old Testament?

“All told, ten of Joseph’s plural wives were married to other men. All of them went on living with their first husbands after marrying the Prophet. The reasons for choosing married women can only be surmised. Not all were married to non-Mormon men: six of the ten husbands were active Latter-Day Saints. In most cases, the husband knew of the plural marriage and approved. The practice seems inexplicable today. Why would a husband consent?

The only answer seems to be the explanation Joseph gave when he asked a woman for her consent: they and their families would benefit spiritually from a close tie to the Prophet. Joseph told a prospective wife that submitting to plural marriage would ‘ensure your eternal salvation & exaltation and that of your father’s household & all your kindred.’ A father who gave his daughter to the Prophet as a plural wife was assured that the marriage ‘shall be crowned upon your heads with honor and immortality and eternal life to all your house both old and young.’ The relationship would bear fruit in the afterlife. There is no certain evidence that Joseph had sexual relations with any of the wives who were married to other men. They married because Joseph’s kingdom grew with the size of his family, and those bonded to that family would be exalted with him” (p 439).

“Joseph did not marry women to form a warm, human companionship, but to create a network of related wives, children, and kinsmen that would endure into the eternities. The revelation on marriage promised Joseph an ‘hundred fold in this world, of fathers and mothers, brothers and sisters, houses and lands, wives and children, and crowns of eternal lives in the eternal worlds’. Like Abraham of old, Joseph yearned for the familial plentitude. He did not lust for women so much as he lusted for kin.” (p. 440.)

“Plural marriage was the most difficult trial of 1843. Nothing Joseph had done put the Church and his own reputation in greater jeopardy. The doctrine shocked his faithful followers, while Emma vacillated between acceptance and rejection. Yet Joseph would not and probably felt that he could not stop. He saw himself in the tradition of Abraham and Solomon, Old Testament patriarchs commanded by God to marry plurally.” (p. 491)

“The doctrine was not publically announced until 1852…To safeguard his burdensome secret, Joseph publicly and repeatedly denied he was advocating polygamy. In his mind, he wasn’t. He distinguished between authorized celestial marriage and the illegal practice of bigamy or the radical ideology of spiritual wives.” (p. 491). In his mind it seems he didn’t lie about it.

It’s interesting to note that nearly all the accounts of women who married Joseph Smith as a plural wife followed a similar pattern of shock and horror (along with their parents) which was later followed by a divine spiritual experience which completely changed their minds. Many of these accounts are written in the book “Rough Stone Rolling”. All very interesting. The following is one example:

“One young woman, Lucy Walker, was stuck with horror on hearing the doctrine… Joseph told her, ‘I have a message for you. I have been commanded of God to take another wife, and you are the woman.’ Lucy was astounded. ‘This announcement was indeed a thunderbolt to me.’ Do you believe me to be a Prophet of God? Joseph asked. ‘Most assuredly I do,’ she reported herself as saying in her later autobiography. ‘He fully explained to me the principle of plural or celestial marriage. Said this principle was again to be restored for the benefit of the human family. That is would prove an everlasting blessing to my father’s house. And form a chain that could never be broken, worlds without end.'” (p 491)

Joseph asked her repeatedly. Lucy flatly refused each time. Joseph backed away and said “if you will pray sincerely for light and understanding in relation thereto, you Shall received a testimony of the correctness of this principle” (p. 492). Four months went by. Lucy bluntly refused again. Joseph then said to her “God Almighty bless you,” promised her a manifestation, and left (p. 492).

“After a sleepless night in prayer, Lucy felt something in her room. ‘My room became filled with a heavenly influence. To me it was in comparison like the brilliant sunshine bursting through the darkest cloud…My Soul was filled with a calm sweet peace that I never knew. Supreme happiness took possession of my whole being” (p. 492). She married Joseph a short time later.

“It was not a love matter,” she wrote later, “but simply the giving up of myself as a sacrifice to establish that grand and glorious principle that God had revealed to the world” (p 492). She later bore nine children to Heber C. Kimball. Did she have a romantic/sexual relationship to Joseph Smith? Sure didn’t seem so.

Many of the marriages were reported to be anything but romantic. The parents of the wife-to-be came with their daughter. Everyone consented to the act. There was a short ceremony in Joseph’s office/house conducted by a priesthood holder. Afterwards they shook hands and parted ways. End of story. They didn’t spend the night together. No honeymoon. No kids together. No proof they lived together. It was all very dry and non-romantic. It was done for spiritual reasons and for obedience to God.

Alright…it’s getting late as I finish this long “epistle”. Thanks for reading this far. Lots more to say and discuss if you want. I certainly don’t have all the answers or feel that Joseph Smith implemented polygamy or anything else in the most perfect way but my faith and conviction is strong in the restoration of the gospel. There was no manual on how to do everything Joseph was commanded to do. He likely made mistakes but nonetheless was extremely committed and loyal to God in all things and at all times. He was a prophet supported by God. Lesser men (most men) would have given up long before they got anywhere near what Joseph had to experience and do in mortality.

Love ya brother