I’m looking for some advice. I went inactive a few years ago, but now I’ve come back to the church. My current partner is not a member of the church. We’re both legally divorced, but we do live together. I know the church doesn’t approve of that. We have a daughter in common.

Fortunately, he’s decided he wants to join! He wants us to get married next year. My dream is to one day be sealed in the temple with him and my children. My question is, what’s the first step we need to take? Should we get married first, or should he be baptized first? It seems to me that he can’t be baptized yet because we’re living together, in sin. I know I’m breaking the rules of the church, and I want to know what we need to do to make it right. Thanks for your advice.

AnĂ³nimo from Murcia,
(Comment originally posted in Spanish)


2 Responses to “I want to come back to church but I’m not married to my boyfriend”


Pedro Cruz
2013-09-22 19:52:28
Temples are houses of God, places of holiness where families can be sealed together forever.
Hi sister. I'm so happy that your husband has decided to join you in your faith! Your husband's decision to get baptized and to marry you will certainly be a great blessing in your life and in the lives of your children. I can already imagine your family being sealed in the temple! What a wonderful day that will be!

You're right to recognize that living together is a violation of God's "law of chastity." Your husband will not be able to be baptized until he's abandoned that sin. Repentance is also very important in your case so you can recover your spirituality and return to a life of righteous discipleship. Fortunately, since the two of you are willing to get married, it will not be difficult to abandon your past mistakes. I suggest you start preparing for the wedding as soon as possible. Chat with your bishop, who can certainly help you if needed.

After you've married, your husband can prepare to be baptized. The missionaries will be happy to help him learn more about our faith to make sure he's ready. After the baptism, the two of you can prepare to enter the temple. The bishop will help you repent and come back to the church. If you're diligent and dedicated, your family could be sealed in a year or two!

Congratulations for your decision to come back to the church and to prepare yourself for temple worship. I'm very happy for you and your family!
Pamela Bonta
2013-11-25 06:38:48
The concept of a united family that lives and progresses forever is at the core of Latter-day Saint doctrine.
In a sitation where there are no children involved, the answer would be to stop living together, have him prepare to be baptized, wait a year after that and then be sealed in the temple. Since there is a child involved, the circumstances should be adapted so that you are married first.

Here is my question to you: Why wait until next year? If the two of you know that you want to be married, know that you want to stay together, and have already started a family... Why wait?

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