Would you move? My best friend had an affair with my husband. It’s over and has been for about 4 months but they live less then 3 miles away. This has been so hard on me not to want to pick up and move but my kids are happy here where we live and I don’t want to cause more pain then we all have been through. I moved to my parents for a month and decided to work on my marriage so I came home. My husband and I are doing well for the short amount of time that we have been healing but when I pass her on the street driving or see her out with her kids I get emotional and start to dislike my husband all over again. This makes it hard to fully move forward and I have gone to the God on my knees but am left with a feeling like I could stay and it’s ok or we could move and it’s ok. So I am not sure what to do.
Help please
Luanne from Lehi City,
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2 Responses to “Would you move? My best friend had an affair with my…”
Leonardo Leal
2013-06-09 16:31:22
Hi Luanne. I'm sorry to hear about your challenging situation. I've been in a similar situation and so can certainly sympathize with you. It is indeed very painful to see the person who, together with an unfaithful spouse, did so much to damage your marriage.
The decision to move or not is a difficult one. It seems there are both advantages and disadvantages. I would say, though, that if living near the adulteress is itself a threat to your healing marriage for the reasons you've cited, perhaps moving, however unfair to your children, would be the best course. I can think of nothing more important right now than doing whatever it takes to foster the spiritual and emotional healing the two of you so desperately need.
On the other hand, if you're certain you can heal even with the adulteress living so close, it would be helpful not to further disrupt your children's lives, as you suggested. What a difficult situation.
Best of luck to you, sister. I'll pray for you.
Carol
2013-06-07 17:55:12
That would be hard. My huaband had an emotional affair with a good friend of ours and even though it had been over for along time I still felt horrible when I saw her. If they had a full affair I would move. That connection is so deep I don't know that I could stay. If your seeing a skilled counselor I would bring it up with them.
The decision to move or not is a difficult one. It seems there are both advantages and disadvantages. I would say, though, that if living near the adulteress is itself a threat to your healing marriage for the reasons you've cited, perhaps moving, however unfair to your children, would be the best course. I can think of nothing more important right now than doing whatever it takes to foster the spiritual and emotional healing the two of you so desperately need.
On the other hand, if you're certain you can heal even with the adulteress living so close, it would be helpful not to further disrupt your children's lives, as you suggested. What a difficult situation.
Best of luck to you, sister. I'll pray for you.