I have had many highs and lows in the church. I was excommunicated 16 years ago but remained active until my re-baptism 4 years ago. I went to the temple (What a Joy!) one year after my baptism and delved into genealogy which kept me busy doing temple work. Then everything changed. I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder and started an anti-depressant. I had started the medication several days before my last trip to the temple, which was on a Saturday. Sunday morning I justified not attending services because I was out so late at the temple the day before. I haven’t been back to church (or the temple) in almost 4 years. The medication completely eliminated my ability to “feel” the spirit. I was completely numb. I stopped those meds a long time ago, but still haven’t gotten back those old familiar warm fuzzy promptings of the spirit. The other side effect of my inactivity has been that my husband and children stopped attending church “so we could have quality family time” together on Sundays. The kids still attend scouts and activity days and the associated activities, and my husband still assists the scout leaders but that is all. I’ve asked and received many priesthood blessings to try to get back what I know I’ve lost, but the numbness continues. Our bishop hasn’t visited us, the missionaries drive by occasionaly, and we get a yearly visit from the Stake Presidents counselors. I feel our family has been forgotten for the most part. I hurt the most for my children. Help!
2 Responses to “I have had many highs and lows in the church. I was excommun…”
Lucas Bravo
2011-11-07 05:02:27
Hi friend. Bipolar disorder is very challenging. Though the side effects of the medication you're taking are doubtlessly very troubling, I hope you at least have some stability in your life now. Some psychotropic medications can indeed alter the way people perceive things. It doesn't surprise me that your medicine could impact your spiritual life. However, choosing not to come to church can also have a major impact on spirituality. Part of your spiritual struggles may well be tied to this inactivity rather than the meds you're taking.
Perhaps feeling the spirit is a little harder for you when medicated, but with enough effort I think you can recover your spirituality. It's also very important that you be an example for your husband and children. It sounds like your family has maintained some ties to the church, which should make your return all the easier. Church participation brings great spiritual peace. The Church doesn't make all our problems go away, but it gives us spiritual strength to face and overcome our challenges. You need this spiritual support in your life.
If the missionaries and members of the stake presidency are visiting you, it sounds like you and your family have not been forgotten! I suggest you tell the missionaries that you're interested in returning to church. I'm sure they could help you make important goals. Even better, perhaps you could go to church this Sunday and chat with your bishop. Tell him you want to come back, and ask for his help. Perhaps he can assign you some home teachers as well for further support.
I'm certain God is happy that you want to come back to church. He loves you and your family. I think the members of your ward will be eager to provide you with the support you need, but, even if they fall short, you can always count on Christ. In the end, we should go to church as an expression of our love for Him above any social concerns. I'll pray for you, sister. Best of luck.
Tanya Riley
2011-11-21 06:38:37
I want to tell you that you are NOT alone. I am a recent convert to the church. I was baptized, along with my 10 year old daughter, on May 21st of this year. I also have bi-polar disorder (type II). It took me many years to get the right combination of therapy, medications, and other treatment until I felt like "me". Just when all of it had come together in my life and I found the church it wasn't long after that some issues arose with my medications that caused me to become less stable. I fell into a deep depression and stopped going to any church activities. Because I didn't go, my daughter didn't go. People would call or come by occasionally, but not a lot. It wasn't that I was forgotten. They didn't know what to do.
The answer is, no one can help you with this other than our Heavenly Father. The first step is just getting out the door and getting there. Talk to your dr. Some meds cause that numbness. It's not normal, you might need a change with that. If you aren't getting counseling, talk to your bishop for a referral. Meds are only 50%. Without therapy you are missing out on the other half. You have to fight this illness. Even if you don't feel the spirit at first, you need to take the steps that will help you to get that again. It's a lot easier for the adversary to work on you when you are away from our Father's loving church.
Perhaps feeling the spirit is a little harder for you when medicated, but with enough effort I think you can recover your spirituality. It's also very important that you be an example for your husband and children. It sounds like your family has maintained some ties to the church, which should make your return all the easier. Church participation brings great spiritual peace. The Church doesn't make all our problems go away, but it gives us spiritual strength to face and overcome our challenges. You need this spiritual support in your life.
If the missionaries and members of the stake presidency are visiting you, it sounds like you and your family have not been forgotten! I suggest you tell the missionaries that you're interested in returning to church. I'm sure they could help you make important goals. Even better, perhaps you could go to church this Sunday and chat with your bishop. Tell him you want to come back, and ask for his help. Perhaps he can assign you some home teachers as well for further support.
I'm certain God is happy that you want to come back to church. He loves you and your family. I think the members of your ward will be eager to provide you with the support you need, but, even if they fall short, you can always count on Christ. In the end, we should go to church as an expression of our love for Him above any social concerns. I'll pray for you, sister. Best of luck.
The answer is, no one can help you with this other than our Heavenly Father. The first step is just getting out the door and getting there. Talk to your dr. Some meds cause that numbness. It's not normal, you might need a change with that. If you aren't getting counseling, talk to your bishop for a referral. Meds are only 50%. Without therapy you are missing out on the other half. You have to fight this illness. Even if you don't feel the spirit at first, you need to take the steps that will help you to get that again. It's a lot easier for the adversary to work on you when you are away from our Father's loving church.