Hello! I’ve been reading your web-site and I have to say it’s well put together. I’m a “curious george” when it comes to Religion and Christianity. I’ve been researching the LDS Church (I know LDS members don’t like the the term “Mormon Church”). I’m feeling a little pull towards towards the Church and I have a few questions (if you don’t answering them).
1) I’m 21 and would I be viewed differently because I’m single?
2) If I was to convert how would I break it to my family? Reason I’m asking is because it would not go well in any shape or form. I kinda got bad looks when I said I have a BoM.
3) After conversion, would I have to go on a mission? I’m currently in college earning a B. A and planning to earning M. A and because of the aid I’m getting, I can’t stop my education. Also I have an illness that prevents me from sweating and weakens my immune system.
4) If I was to marry, could the cermony be held in a public place for my family to attend? Then do the Temple ceremonies at a later date?
4 Responses to “Hello! I’ve been reading your web-site and I have to say it’…”
Samuel Santana
2011-08-22 03:00:21
The San Diego temple in San Diego, California.
Hi Tony. Very happy to hear that you're interested in learning more about the LDS Church. I'm happy to answer your questions:
1) Most 21-year-old Mormons are not married, so your age shouldn't make much of a difference. In many areas there are congregations and church organizations geared specifically towards singles. I'm certain any congregation, whether a singles ward or otherwise, would be happy to welcome you.
2) It's certainly difficult when a family is not supportive of a child's decision to convert to the LDS faith. Some parents may feel that a child is abandoning their old faith. However, this is an inaccurate perception. There are many true and beautiful principles taught in other faiths, principles also taught in the LDS faith. You most certainly would not have to give up the truth you've found to join the LDS Church. President Gordon B. Hinckley, a president of our church who passed away a few years ago, said the following on the Larry King Live Show: "I say this to [people of other faiths]: you develop all the good you can. We have no animosity toward any other church. We do not oppose other churches. We never speak negatively of other churches. We say to people: you bring all the good that you have, and let us see if we can add to it." Perhaps helping your family understand things from this perspective would be helpful.
3) Serving a mission is wonderful; I encourage all young people to serve. However, the choice to serve a mission is a very personal one. Certainly you could join the church and enjoy the physical and spiritual blessings of church membership without going on a mission. It may well be that, given your health challenges, you'd be excused from missionary service anyway.
4) In some countries, the government does not recognize temple marriages, so a civil marriage is first performed publicly immediately prior to the temple ceremony. However, in the U.S. a temple marriage is civilly recognized, so the Church encourages its members to forgo public marriage ceremonies. In this case, family members who are not yet prepared for temple worship should still play active roles in the public wedding reception and/or ring-bearing ceremony so they feel honored and appreciated.
That having been said, there are Mormons who choose to be married civilly. These civil marriages can even be performed in Mormon chapels by an LDS bishop if desired. A temple sealing can be performed one year after the civil marriage to give time for proper preparation.
Brendan
2011-08-25 10:39:12
Hello Tony, My name is Brendan and I am a convert, I had all those questions as well. To answer then I will use your format as to asking.
1) No, I was 19 and single when I converted and it is better to convert without a girl in the picture. So being single is very okay.
2) It was very hard to break it to my family, my mom I told right away but it took me almost 2 years to tell my dad. Not because I was embarrassed but because he would disapprove. It is all about timing and the right moment I found, I told my mom walking our 3 dogs and I told my dad at Christmas Mass for Catholics (he being one). So his heart was softened at the time and he had a new girlfriend who made him a little bit more understanding of lots of things.
3) I got the same question everyday about going on a mission when I went to BYU-Hawaii. I told them that it was my decision and it was a personal choice. Being in certain circumstances prevent people and you may not even be medically cleared to do so. People are happy to see you convert on your own and it is okay you don't serve, totally up to you. I didn't feel it was right for me at the time and didn't grow up thinking I would go since I was 8 years old. Just like you.
4) I just got married. My wife loves me and accepts my family are not members of the church so we had a ring ceremony after the temple ceremony. My mother-in-law actually planned the whole thing and she was a member her whole life. Don't be discouraged of the fact they cant go into the temple, they can still see you outside under a gazebo getting married (exchanging rings) just like my family did.
I hope this helps you and I hope these things do not stop you from converting.
Richard
2011-08-18 13:25:43
Glad to hear you have an interest in the LDS, church. The feeling of 'pull toward the Church' is the pull of the Holy Ghost and God wanting you to come into His fold and to receive His Truth.
To answer your questions as best as I'm able
1 - 21 and single being vewed as different in the LDS faith - not by the church as a whole. As a whole I feel it would say you are a normal investigator.
2- Break it to your family? Nothing is more powerful than the truth.
3 - Missions are the sole choice of the member and their individual circumstance. The illness would be taken into account. A mission would be up to you.
4 - If you marry outside the temple there is a 1-year wait in order to go to the temple and have that marriage sealed for time and eternity. There are guidlines for famlily attending a temple sealing (talk with missionaries/church leaders) To my knowledge there is noting to stop a family from having a cerimony after a temple sealing, just for the family.
Temples are considered houses of God, places of holiness and peace separate from the preoccupations of the world.
Hello Tony,
Those are some great questions and I will attempt to answer them with you one by one.
1. Just because you are 21 does not mean you wil lbe viewed any differently in the church. In fact, we have wards dedicated to your age group (18-30) called singles wards. We have singles of all ages in our church.
2. Honestly, you should just sit down with your family and explain to them how much your new religion makes you happy. Try and answer their questions in an open and honest way. If need be, maybe have the missionaries over and they can help you answer questions from your family, or have them talk to an online missionary at http://www.mormon.org/chat.
3. You do not have to go on a mission. That decision is entirely 100% your choice.
4. This is a decision that you will have to personally discuss with your future wife. Yes, you could have a civil marriage first, but then the both of you have to wait at least 1 year before you could go to the temple and get sealed together a sa couple. My wife and I were sealed/married in the Anchorage, AK temple this past January and the fact that I am with her for time and eternity is something that I would never change.
Good luck in your future and if you have anymore questions feel free to ask. Welcome to the church.
1) Most 21-year-old Mormons are not married, so your age shouldn't make much of a difference. In many areas there are congregations and church organizations geared specifically towards singles. I'm certain any congregation, whether a singles ward or otherwise, would be happy to welcome you.
2) It's certainly difficult when a family is not supportive of a child's decision to convert to the LDS faith. Some parents may feel that a child is abandoning their old faith. However, this is an inaccurate perception. There are many true and beautiful principles taught in other faiths, principles also taught in the LDS faith. You most certainly would not have to give up the truth you've found to join the LDS Church. President Gordon B. Hinckley, a president of our church who passed away a few years ago, said the following on the Larry King Live Show: "I say this to [people of other faiths]: you develop all the good you can. We have no animosity toward any other church. We do not oppose other churches. We never speak negatively of other churches. We say to people: you bring all the good that you have, and let us see if we can add to it." Perhaps helping your family understand things from this perspective would be helpful.
3) Serving a mission is wonderful; I encourage all young people to serve. However, the choice to serve a mission is a very personal one. Certainly you could join the church and enjoy the physical and spiritual blessings of church membership without going on a mission. It may well be that, given your health challenges, you'd be excused from missionary service anyway.
4) In some countries, the government does not recognize temple marriages, so a civil marriage is first performed publicly immediately prior to the temple ceremony. However, in the U.S. a temple marriage is civilly recognized, so the Church encourages its members to forgo public marriage ceremonies. In this case, family members who are not yet prepared for temple worship should still play active roles in the public wedding reception and/or ring-bearing ceremony so they feel honored and appreciated.
That having been said, there are Mormons who choose to be married civilly. These civil marriages can even be performed in Mormon chapels by an LDS bishop if desired. A temple sealing can be performed one year after the civil marriage to give time for proper preparation.
1) No, I was 19 and single when I converted and it is better to convert without a girl in the picture. So being single is very okay.
2) It was very hard to break it to my family, my mom I told right away but it took me almost 2 years to tell my dad. Not because I was embarrassed but because he would disapprove. It is all about timing and the right moment I found, I told my mom walking our 3 dogs and I told my dad at Christmas Mass for Catholics (he being one). So his heart was softened at the time and he had a new girlfriend who made him a little bit more understanding of lots of things.
3) I got the same question everyday about going on a mission when I went to BYU-Hawaii. I told them that it was my decision and it was a personal choice. Being in certain circumstances prevent people and you may not even be medically cleared to do so. People are happy to see you convert on your own and it is okay you don't serve, totally up to you. I didn't feel it was right for me at the time and didn't grow up thinking I would go since I was 8 years old. Just like you.
4) I just got married. My wife loves me and accepts my family are not members of the church so we had a ring ceremony after the temple ceremony. My mother-in-law actually planned the whole thing and she was a member her whole life. Don't be discouraged of the fact they cant go into the temple, they can still see you outside under a gazebo getting married (exchanging rings) just like my family did.
I hope this helps you and I hope these things do not stop you from converting.
To answer your questions as best as I'm able
1 - 21 and single being vewed as different in the LDS faith - not by the church as a whole. As a whole I feel it would say you are a normal investigator.
2- Break it to your family? Nothing is more powerful than the truth.
3 - Missions are the sole choice of the member and their individual circumstance. The illness would be taken into account. A mission would be up to you.
4 - If you marry outside the temple there is a 1-year wait in order to go to the temple and have that marriage sealed for time and eternity. There are guidlines for famlily attending a temple sealing (talk with missionaries/church leaders) To my knowledge there is noting to stop a family from having a cerimony after a temple sealing, just for the family.
Sounds like you are on the right track https://www.allaboutmormons.com/outbound/chat-with-missionary.php live link at top.
Good luck!
Those are some great questions and I will attempt to answer them with you one by one.
1. Just because you are 21 does not mean you wil lbe viewed any differently in the church. In fact, we have wards dedicated to your age group (18-30) called singles wards. We have singles of all ages in our church.
2. Honestly, you should just sit down with your family and explain to them how much your new religion makes you happy. Try and answer their questions in an open and honest way. If need be, maybe have the missionaries over and they can help you answer questions from your family, or have them talk to an online missionary at http://www.mormon.org/chat.
3. You do not have to go on a mission. That decision is entirely 100% your choice.
4. This is a decision that you will have to personally discuss with your future wife. Yes, you could have a civil marriage first, but then the both of you have to wait at least 1 year before you could go to the temple and get sealed together a sa couple. My wife and I were sealed/married in the Anchorage, AK temple this past January and the fact that I am with her for time and eternity is something that I would never change.
Good luck in your future and if you have anymore questions feel free to ask. Welcome to the church.