I have had very negative experiences in the past with confessing sins to bishops. One bishop kicked me out of school for voluntarily confessing and reaching out for help. When I went home for nine months my bishop there was ineffective at guiding me and pretty much ignored my obvious reasons for being sent home. Since then (3 years ago) I’ve graduated, started dating a guy, and now I want to marry him. Unfortunately we had sex about 5 times over the course of 2 years and that really puts a hold up on a temple marriage. I’ve wanted to confess for awhile but trusting bishops is kind of scary to me plus my bf was still in school and I didn’t want him to get sent home like I did a few years ago. Any ideas what things will look like for us and getting a temple marriage?? Plus any thoughts on trusting bishops?
3 Responses to “I have had very negative experiences in the past with confes…”
Ricardo Duarte
2011-06-13 03:57:42
Jesus Christ is central to The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, which bears His name.
Hi friend. Thanks for posting your question here. I can think of only two ways a bishop could play a role in getting someone "kicked out of school": either something illegal occurred and the bishop felt obligated to inform the police, or you were attending one of the Church's universities and violated the honor code. In either case, it was not the bishop who got you "kicked out." It was your own decisions. The bishop probably acted reluctantly, feeling obligated to report.
I'm not saying this to judge you or to make you feel bad. I'm saying this because recognizing and accepting responsibility for your actions is the first step in the repentance process, and I want you to experience the joy and relief that come from feeling spiritually clean. That you have continued to sin further suggests that this repentance process has not been successfully completed.
The social savvy or counseling skills of your bishop are really irrelevant. He's the man with the keys to help you apply Christ's atonement in your life. Regardless of how skilled he is, the keys are the same. It's wonderful when a bishop is thoughtful and kind, but God is able to work through awkward bishops too.
You are right that a temple marriage will not be possible for you at this time. Temple marriage is not something that happens passively. It's something that requires a lot of hard work and preparation. The blessings associated with celestial marriage are indescribable, but we must fight for them. Fortunately, spiritual recovery is certainly possible for you. Begin the repentance process right away, sister. You'll be very happy you did. I'll pray for you. Best of luck.
Deise
2011-06-10 19:29:18
Querida escritora,
O senhor nos deu mandamentos nesta terra e um deles foi apoiar os nossos líderes e confiarmos neles. Sabemos que todos nós seremos julgados pelos nossos próprios atos e sabemos tambéwm que o mundo só irá melhorar se fizermos a nossa parte seguindo os mandamentos. Você pode não confiar no Bispo mais se ele está ocupando este chamado é por que o sehor o escolheu. Eu sei que somos guiados pelo Senhor e ele fala conosco por meio da oração e principalmente pelas bocas dos santos profetas, a igreja de Jesus Cristo é guiada pelo Senhor, eu sei que se o Senhor ver que um Bispo não está digno de confiança ele providenciará uma maneira dele ser desobrigado, só faça a sua parte de confiar no Bispo e no Senhor. Enquanto a lei da castidade é um mandamento do Senhor se você deixou de comprir ele nos deu outro mandamento o arrependimento sincero, tenho certeza de que você cumprindo cada passo poderá casar-se no templo e viver com seu marido para toda eternidade.
Um grande abraço e eu sei que todas essas coisas são verdadeiras e que a Igreja de Jesus Cristo é a igreja do Senhor assim como todos os mandamentos. E eu deixo essas coisas em nome de Jesus Cristo Amém.
Aly
2011-06-18 21:29:50
It's not about bishops, there will be people who will disappoint us but they are just people, with their flaws. Anyway, you should confess to a bishop you know better and just pray before meeting with him. Most likely it will go well, and you'll have few tears :) When your boyfriend is ready he should also talk to his bishop, but I think he should do the same and talk to a bishop he can trust. If he comes confessing he shouldn't have troubles. I wish you luck.
I'm not saying this to judge you or to make you feel bad. I'm saying this because recognizing and accepting responsibility for your actions is the first step in the repentance process, and I want you to experience the joy and relief that come from feeling spiritually clean. That you have continued to sin further suggests that this repentance process has not been successfully completed.
The social savvy or counseling skills of your bishop are really irrelevant. He's the man with the keys to help you apply Christ's atonement in your life. Regardless of how skilled he is, the keys are the same. It's wonderful when a bishop is thoughtful and kind, but God is able to work through awkward bishops too.
You are right that a temple marriage will not be possible for you at this time. Temple marriage is not something that happens passively. It's something that requires a lot of hard work and preparation. The blessings associated with celestial marriage are indescribable, but we must fight for them. Fortunately, spiritual recovery is certainly possible for you. Begin the repentance process right away, sister. You'll be very happy you did. I'll pray for you. Best of luck.
O senhor nos deu mandamentos nesta terra e um deles foi apoiar os nossos líderes e confiarmos neles. Sabemos que todos nós seremos julgados pelos nossos próprios atos e sabemos tambéwm que o mundo só irá melhorar se fizermos a nossa parte seguindo os mandamentos. Você pode não confiar no Bispo mais se ele está ocupando este chamado é por que o sehor o escolheu. Eu sei que somos guiados pelo Senhor e ele fala conosco por meio da oração e principalmente pelas bocas dos santos profetas, a igreja de Jesus Cristo é guiada pelo Senhor, eu sei que se o Senhor ver que um Bispo não está digno de confiança ele providenciará uma maneira dele ser desobrigado, só faça a sua parte de confiar no Bispo e no Senhor. Enquanto a lei da castidade é um mandamento do Senhor se você deixou de comprir ele nos deu outro mandamento o arrependimento sincero, tenho certeza de que você cumprindo cada passo poderá casar-se no templo e viver com seu marido para toda eternidade.
Um grande abraço e eu sei que todas essas coisas são verdadeiras e que a Igreja de Jesus Cristo é a igreja do Senhor assim como todos os mandamentos. E eu deixo essas coisas em nome de Jesus Cristo Amém.