Hello. I have been raised Catholic, but have been with my Mormon boyfriend for quite a while now. We will both be moving away for college next year, and shortly after he will be going on his mission. I completely support his decision because I know how important it is to him and to all the people he will help. Because I have been with him so long, I started looking into the church and realized that this is truly the restored gospel. I know that I want to become Mormon as soon as I’m allowed, but my parents cannot seem to understand that I’m not doing this for my boyfriend. I know that even if I do not end up with him, I still would love to share his religion. I plan to attend the LDS church regularly as soon as I move, but I am afraid of hurting my parents. In my heart I feel I am doing the right thing, and I know I will want to raise my children in the LDS faith. If I choose to become Mormon even though my parents tell me not to, will I be breaking the commandment to “Obey thy father and thy mother”? Any advice would be wonderful.
3 Responses to “Hello. I have been raised Catholic, but have been with my Mo…”
Daniel Rubio
2011-05-15 22:21:47
Hi friend. First off, congratulations for your sincere interest in the Church! As I'm sure you know from talking with your boyfriend, this church can be a great blessing in peoples' lives! I don't have words to describe how much I love being a member of the LDS Church. My relationship with Christ has been strengthened because of the Christian teachings I've received. I hope you find the same blessings! :)
I was especially happy to read that your conversion is sincere, independent of your boyfriend. It's quite common for people to get to know the Church through loved ones or family members. It's important, though, that faith be strong enough to stand independent of any other person. Faith is between you and God. It seems like you are on the right path!
It's also excellent that you want to honor your parents. That commandment is so fundamental that it was included in the big 10! :) However, honoring one's parents does not mean forfeiting your right to choose your own spiritual path. Sometimes it can be hard to balance honoring one's parents and righteously exercising one's free will.
Here are some ideas how you can honor your parents during this wonderful time of spiritual transition:
When your parents express concerns about your spiritual transformation, don't dismiss them or loose patience with them. Calmly and kindly explain your intimate spiritual feelings. It may be that your parents won't agree with your feelings, but you can at least respect them enough to let them know how you feel.
Make it clear to your parents that you are not abandoning the many true teachings they gave you as a child. As President Hinckley, the recently deceased leader of our Church, once said, "I say this to [people of other faiths]: you develop all the good you can. We have no animosity toward any other church. We do not oppose other churches. We never speak negatively of other churches. We say to people: you bring all the good that you have, and let us see if we can add to it."
Make sure your parents know that you love them. Don't let tension over spiritual matters cloud that love in the slightest.
I hope these answers help! Congratulations again for your decision to join the Church. May God bless you on your spiritual journey.
Richard
2011-05-16 21:56:15
The commandment is "Honor thy father and thy mother, that thy days may be long in the land which the Lord thy God shall give thee. "... Yes you need to obey your parents, but when you become of age... At the same time, reality says that you and your parents are all children of our Father in heaven, and that you are their stewardship, which means they really need to show honor to you back again, especially as you become of age, as well as for the example that they would want you to follow.
Further than that, Honoring your Father in heaven may also be a higher law over that of mortality. God wants you to return to Him, and your partaking of ordinances which allow Him to bring you back into His presence could also be considered honoring your Heavenly Parents.
Hang in there, patience is a beautiful thing, and all good things DO and will come to those that wait in faith. You're on the correct path, perhaps you may be a key to helping your parents to see the truth also?
Anonymous
2011-05-22 16:00:27
This is a hard situation, as I have had several friends join the church without the blessing of their parents. In reply to your question of whether this is breaking a commandment; The Lord teaches an interesting principle in the Bible, in Matthew chapter 10. Starting in verse 34 he says,
"34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.
37 He that loveth father or mother more than me is not worthy of me: and he that loveth son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me.
38 And he that taketh not his across, and followeth after me, is not worthy of me.
39 He that findeth his life shall lose it: and he that loseth his life for my sake shall find it.
At first read, this seems like a contradictory doctrine, but it isn't. The Lord knew that his true doctrine would be accepted by some, and not others. A son or daughter may find and accept the truth, while a mother or father may not, thus there is that division. The Lord understands your situation however, and knows that it isn't easy. I know that having the blessings of the restored gospel in your life will not only bless you, but also bless your family. (Whether they know it or not). May the Lord bless you as you strive to do what is right, and follow His Spirit.
I was especially happy to read that your conversion is sincere, independent of your boyfriend. It's quite common for people to get to know the Church through loved ones or family members. It's important, though, that faith be strong enough to stand independent of any other person. Faith is between you and God. It seems like you are on the right path!
It's also excellent that you want to honor your parents. That commandment is so fundamental that it was included in the big 10! :) However, honoring one's parents does not mean forfeiting your right to choose your own spiritual path. Sometimes it can be hard to balance honoring one's parents and righteously exercising one's free will.
Here are some ideas how you can honor your parents during this wonderful time of spiritual transition:
- When your parents express concerns about your spiritual transformation, don't dismiss them or loose patience with them. Calmly and kindly explain your intimate spiritual feelings. It may be that your parents won't agree with your feelings, but you can at least respect them enough to let them know how you feel.
- Make it clear to your parents that you are not abandoning the many true teachings they gave you as a child. As President Hinckley, the recently deceased leader of our Church, once said, "I say this to [people of other faiths]: you develop all the good you can. We have no animosity toward any other church. We do not oppose other churches. We never speak negatively of other churches. We say to people: you bring all the good that you have, and let us see if we can add to it."
- Make sure your parents know that you love them. Don't let tension over spiritual matters cloud that love in the slightest.
I hope these answers help! Congratulations again for your decision to join the Church. May God bless you on your spiritual journey.Further than that, Honoring your Father in heaven may also be a higher law over that of mortality. God wants you to return to Him, and your partaking of ordinances which allow Him to bring you back into His presence could also be considered honoring your Heavenly Parents.
Hang in there, patience is a beautiful thing, and all good things DO and will come to those that wait in faith. You're on the correct path, perhaps you may be a key to helping your parents to see the truth also?
"34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.
37 He that loveth father or mother more than me is not worthy of me: and he that loveth son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me.
38 And he that taketh not his across, and followeth after me, is not worthy of me.
39 He that findeth his life shall lose it: and he that loseth his life for my sake shall find it.
At first read, this seems like a contradictory doctrine, but it isn't. The Lord knew that his true doctrine would be accepted by some, and not others. A son or daughter may find and accept the truth, while a mother or father may not, thus there is that division. The Lord understands your situation however, and knows that it isn't easy. I know that having the blessings of the restored gospel in your life will not only bless you, but also bless your family. (Whether they know it or not). May the Lord bless you as you strive to do what is right, and follow His Spirit.