I was born into the church and grew up learning about the gospel, I love the church and the members. I have struggled to have a testimony of Heavenly Father since I was 10 or 11 years old, for I am more of a logical scientific person rather than emotional, and I put very little emphasis on my feelings for I find them to be quite unreliable. I cannot just believe what people say, that is to say I cannot just blindly follow, and I really do not trust easily. I have tried “living off of the beliefs of others” as it has been suggested to me, but for me that cannot work. I am far from perfect but all in all I try to follow the commandments, I go to church, and I want to live a life in the church and marry someday, but I am missing the one key element: a belief in something beyond this earth. For I feel that if any religion were true it would be this one, but I struggle to “just believe”. I feel that there is so much good in the church, and all I want for my life is to become the best person that I can but I need to have a testimony to move forward. I have read the scriptures, and I have on so many occasions attempted to pray, but do you have any additional advice for me in trying to find a testimony of Heavenly Father?
6 Responses to “I was born into the church and grew up learning about the go…”
Samuel Prado
2011-04-11 06:25:43
Hi Erika. I'm happy you posted your question on my site. I can appreciate your comments because I myself am a scientist. However, to be scientifically minded does not mean one cannot trust emotions, nor does it mean one cannot trust the knowledge of others. In fact, much of scientific progress has been achieved through trusting gut impressions, and since no single person can understand all scientific theories, some of which are so complex as to be only accessible to highly trained specialists, trusting in the knowledge of others is as much a necessity in science as it is in religion.
If you want scientific proof that the church is true, you'll be hard-pressed to find it. However, not all truth is obtainable through the scientific method. In fact, the idea that "all truth is observable, reproducible, and measurable" is ironically not itself falsifiable or provable. There's also no rational reason to discount spiritual impressions, which is what I assume you mean by "feelings," though the two are not identical. The new field of neurotheology suggests that, like the five senses, spiritual perceptions can be reduced to measurable neural input into the cerebral cortex, which is our sole tool for perceiving the universe, regardless of the external organ used for encoding. By this reasoning, the spiritual impressions religious people consistently receive when they pray or meditate are as valid perceptions of the universe as a visual or tactile observation.
Now, I think most every open-minded person can come to a spiritual knowledge if they give themselves enough time. The good news is that you seem to recognize that the church has great value independent of its theological truth. Of course gaining a personal testimony is of critical importance, but while you're waiting for that testimony to come, you can continue to enjoy the many secular blessings that come from Church membership. Since you have nothing to loose from waiting, you can afford to be patient.
It's also important to remember that God will tailor your personal revelation according to your needs. Many people associate feeling the spirit with a "burning in the bosom," akin for many to an emotion. However, Joseph Smith also described feeling the spirit as a "quickening of the mind." Perhaps that is how God will choose to communicate with you.
Regardless of the form of communication, it's important that you put yourself in situations where you can feel the spirit. Personal revelation does not occur passively. Prayer, study, meditation, pondering, service, etc. are all critical. In time, and with patience and humility, I'm certain you'll receive a witness. Best of luck to you, Erika!
Pamela Dean Bonta
2011-04-06 13:49:03
Dear Erika,
A few questions for you, in a spirit of love and kindness:
You say that you "have attempted to pray." What does that mean? Have you have approached Heavenly Father in a spirit of meekness and humilily, earnestly seeking answers after pondering your questions of "something beyond this earth"?
You have read the scriptures. Have you *studied* them? Have you earnestly sought answers to your questions within those pages and within the covers of the church magazines and other worthy books? Have you read and studied all the Sunday School, Priesthood, Relief Society, Young Men and Young Women manuals? The ones for Seminary and Institute?
Why do you think you do not have a testimony? You have said, "I love the church and the members", "I try to follow the commandments, I go to church, and I want to live a life in the church and marry someday", "I feel that if any religion were true it would be this one", "I feel that there is so much good in the church, and all I want for my life is to become the best person that I can", "I have read the scriptures", and "I have on so many occasions attempted to pray." That sounds like a testimony to me!!! (smile)
I'm not trying to be harsh or hard on you - as I said, I have questions for you in a spirit of love and kindness. But this is what I think - you and I are very much alike in that we don't trust feelings and look for rational, logical answers to everything. Here is a hard lesson I had to learn - it doesn't always work that way! I spent six years investigating the church before I became a member because I just had to 'know' the answer to every question. There was always one more 'but' that I had to put forth.
That's not the Lord's way. At some point, I just had to look at everything I believed and decide if that was enough. For me, it was. And since my baptism I have continued to learn and to grow as a person, and to develop deeper understandings of the doctrine and what I personally believe. After my first marriage ended in my ex-husband's excommunication, a counsellor at LDS Family Services said to me, "I know so many people who have left the church over smaller things that have happened to them. I just don't understand why you are a still a member." My response was simple. "Where else can I go? I know Joseph Smith is a prophet. I know the Book of Mormon is scripture. And I have a firm belief in the sealing ordinances of our temples. So where else can I go?" Logically, rationally, the church should have been the last place on earth that I sought refuge. And indeed, my first instinct was to trust my negative feelings and run far from the church and everything it stood for. But that would have gotten me nowhere. Instead, I ran toward the church, embraced those things that I still had a testimony of with my whole heart, and gradually the rest has followed.
Finally, you may be interested in this article called "Keeping in Touch with Feelings" by C. Richard Chidester. It helped me understand where feelings fit into the whole scheme of things.
Richard
2011-04-07 17:42:10
"I have read the scriptures, and I have on so many occasions attempted to pray, but do you have any additional advice for me in trying to find a testimony of Heavenly Father? "
I see a person who is on the right path, and I think you may just be learning a lesson in patience, especially with yourself?
Personally I would recommend to Read/Study the Book of Mormon 1/2 hour EVERY DAY -- MAKE TIME FOR IT! Put it above anything else in your life-- you can do that and it's simple. Pray to our Father in the name of Christ that you might be able to make and have time to read.
As you do this, your ability to pray and to read will increase and you will slowly, but as sure as the daylight follows the dark-night, you will begin to feel the peace of our Savior attend you.
I would also recommend spending some time on the LDS-youtube site and just soak in the words of God spoken by authorized leaders.. Here let me get you started... Watch this:
And I can tell you I know that God lives, Jesus is our personal Savior and He will save you even from yourself if need be. I have had that knowledge slowly sink into my being as I followed the above advice, about reading the Book of Mormon, given me by my Mom who got it from a missionary. Good luck
Shalon
2011-04-06 22:27:37
Science is great for answering lots of questions like what? How? Where? When? And sometimes even who? But what about why? For example, why did we evolve this way and not a more practical one? I would suggest spending more time looking deeply at science and asking why? And then pray. You've already tried the one way. But have you really given prayer a real go? Or have you just gone through the motions? Like Bruce from Bruce Almighty. You can't just pray a lip-service prayer. You gotta really put your heart into it. :)
Shalon
2011-04-06 23:10:56
God does not ask us to just "believe." He says... "Prove me now herewith"... And "If any of you lack wisdom... Let him ask of God"
Anonymous
2011-04-08 07:20:21
Study the scriptures keep attending church meetings keep praying without ceasing having no doubt. Sometimes God does not answer your prayers till after the trial of your faith. Also if you can read Alma 26: 2 thats a good scripture hope it helps you.
If you want scientific proof that the church is true, you'll be hard-pressed to find it. However, not all truth is obtainable through the scientific method. In fact, the idea that "all truth is observable, reproducible, and measurable" is ironically not itself falsifiable or provable. There's also no rational reason to discount spiritual impressions, which is what I assume you mean by "feelings," though the two are not identical. The new field of neurotheology suggests that, like the five senses, spiritual perceptions can be reduced to measurable neural input into the cerebral cortex, which is our sole tool for perceiving the universe, regardless of the external organ used for encoding. By this reasoning, the spiritual impressions religious people consistently receive when they pray or meditate are as valid perceptions of the universe as a visual or tactile observation.
Now, I think most every open-minded person can come to a spiritual knowledge if they give themselves enough time. The good news is that you seem to recognize that the church has great value independent of its theological truth. Of course gaining a personal testimony is of critical importance, but while you're waiting for that testimony to come, you can continue to enjoy the many secular blessings that come from Church membership. Since you have nothing to loose from waiting, you can afford to be patient.
It's also important to remember that God will tailor your personal revelation according to your needs. Many people associate feeling the spirit with a "burning in the bosom," akin for many to an emotion. However, Joseph Smith also described feeling the spirit as a "quickening of the mind." Perhaps that is how God will choose to communicate with you.
Regardless of the form of communication, it's important that you put yourself in situations where you can feel the spirit. Personal revelation does not occur passively. Prayer, study, meditation, pondering, service, etc. are all critical. In time, and with patience and humility, I'm certain you'll receive a witness. Best of luck to you, Erika!
A few questions for you, in a spirit of love and kindness:
- You say that you "have attempted to pray." What does that mean? Have you have approached Heavenly Father in a spirit of meekness and humilily, earnestly seeking answers after pondering your questions of "something beyond this earth"?
- You have read the scriptures. Have you *studied* them? Have you earnestly sought answers to your questions within those pages and within the covers of the church magazines and other worthy books? Have you read and studied all the Sunday School, Priesthood, Relief Society, Young Men and Young Women manuals? The ones for Seminary and Institute?
- Why do you think you do not have a testimony? You have said, "I love the church and the members", "I try to follow the commandments, I go to church, and I want to live a life in the church and marry someday", "I feel that if any religion were true it would be this one", "I feel that there is so much good in the church, and all I want for my life is to become the best person that I can", "I have read the scriptures", and "I have on so many occasions attempted to pray." That sounds like a testimony to me!!! (smile)
I'm not trying to be harsh or hard on you - as I said, I have questions for you in a spirit of love and kindness. But this is what I think - you and I are very much alike in that we don't trust feelings and look for rational, logical answers to everything. Here is a hard lesson I had to learn - it doesn't always work that way! I spent six years investigating the church before I became a member because I just had to 'know' the answer to every question. There was always one more 'but' that I had to put forth.That's not the Lord's way. At some point, I just had to look at everything I believed and decide if that was enough. For me, it was. And since my baptism I have continued to learn and to grow as a person, and to develop deeper understandings of the doctrine and what I personally believe. After my first marriage ended in my ex-husband's excommunication, a counsellor at LDS Family Services said to me, "I know so many people who have left the church over smaller things that have happened to them. I just don't understand why you are a still a member." My response was simple. "Where else can I go? I know Joseph Smith is a prophet. I know the Book of Mormon is scripture. And I have a firm belief in the sealing ordinances of our temples. So where else can I go?" Logically, rationally, the church should have been the last place on earth that I sought refuge. And indeed, my first instinct was to trust my negative feelings and run far from the church and everything it stood for. But that would have gotten me nowhere. Instead, I ran toward the church, embraced those things that I still had a testimony of with my whole heart, and gradually the rest has followed.
Finally, you may be interested in this article called "Keeping in Touch with Feelings" by C. Richard Chidester. It helped me understand where feelings fit into the whole scheme of things.
I see a person who is on the right path, and I think you may just be learning a lesson in patience, especially with yourself?
Personally I would recommend to Read/Study the Book of Mormon 1/2 hour EVERY DAY -- MAKE TIME FOR IT! Put it above anything else in your life-- you can do that and it's simple. Pray to our Father in the name of Christ that you might be able to make and have time to read.
As you do this, your ability to pray and to read will increase and you will slowly, but as sure as the daylight follows the dark-night, you will begin to feel the peace of our Savior attend you.
I would also recommend spending some time on the LDS-youtube site and just soak in the words of God spoken by authorized leaders.. Here let me get you started... Watch this:
And I can tell you I know that God lives, Jesus is our personal Savior and He will save you even from yourself if need be. I have had that knowledge slowly sink into my being as I followed the above advice, about reading the Book of Mormon, given me by my Mom who got it from a missionary. Good luck