Dear Carlos Cruz, I read in one of your responses to a question that your wife was Catholic before she converted. I am Catholic and have been thinking about the LDS church for a few months now. I have been talking with missionaries and studying. My biggest concern is that I feel like I am leaving my family behind. I cant imagine getting married without them there, and facing the idea that they will not be included in my sealed family. Im not sure if your wife had any of these feelings, but do you have any advice for me? I would really appreciate anything.
3 Responses to “Dear Santo Gringo, I read in one of your responses to a ques…”
Carlos Cruz
2011-02-27 23:04:13
Members of the Church believe that marriages performed in temples are "sealed," or blessed to last for eternity.
Hi friend. First off, let me congratulate you for your careful investigation. I know you've posted on this site in the past trying to find answers for your questions. There's something very sacred about spiritual seeking. I think I speak for the others who answer questions posted on this site when I say that it's a great privilege for us to help sincere people like you on your spiritual journey.
It's very challenging when family members can't attend the temple marriage of a loved one. Many members of the Church, while understanding that the sacredness of the temple space must be preserved by admitting only those who have been properly prepared, nevertheless lament the fact that parents or siblings cannot witness the sacred ordinance. My wife is actually from Brazil; her family couldn't have attended our marriage even if they had been temple prepared because of the high price and difficulty of travel. Consequently, we didn't have to explain the concepts of sacred space and proper temple preparation to my in-laws. Nevertheless, I can certainly empathize with your challenging situation.
In explaining these concepts, it might be helpful to talk about the ancient Jewish temple. There were certain places in those ancient temples where only "clergy" (e.g., the high priest) could enter, because only the high priest had been properly prepared. Mormon temples are in large part modeled after those ancient temples, like the temple of Solomon. In the LDS faith, however, there is no "clergy class." All members can, in a certain sense, be considered clergy, a concept that is more clearly taught in the temple itself. Thus, restricting access to the modern temple to those members of the Church who have been properly prepared is very much analogous to restricting access to the ancient temple's holy of holies to the high priest. Of course, this kind of explanation will not eliminate your family's disappointment at not being able to attend, but it may at least help them understand that the policy has nothing to do with them personally, nor does it reflect on their "worthiness" or personal merit. Of course there are many wonderful, worthy people who are members of other faiths. Temple attendance in this case really is just a question of preparation.
Because some of your family members would be unable to attend your temple wedding if you joined the LDS Church, it's critically important that you involve them in other ways. It would be very appropriate, for example, to have a ring ceremony outside the temple in order to involve your family. It would be great to exchange vows on that occasion as well. Perhaps the bride and groom could also wear a tuxedo/wedding dress.
Your family could also be at the temple on your wedding day if you like. They could wait in the temple foyer while the ordinance is performed. Afterwards, it's tradition to take a lot of family pictures. It would be great to involve your family in that tradition. You can decide for yourself how you'd like to involve all the members of your family.
Even if your family doesn't join the church in this life, I would never give up on the hope that you could one day be sealed to them. Of course it is best to accept the restored gospel in this life, but even after death, we continue to progress and grow spiritually. Those who have died are still capable of conversion and sealing. I believe that most good people will eventually accept the fullness of the gospel, especially people like the members of your family who have already received so many true principles in the Catholic faith.
I hope this answer helps. I'm very excited for you! You're contemplating a very important decision that has the power to transform your life for the better. God be with you as you grow and learn during this important time.
Edevaldo
2011-02-25 02:04:14
Dear Anonymous, I understand your concern, because our family is the most important thing to us. Accepting the Restored Gospel you're not leaving them, but truly having them with you forever! Our Heavenly Father's plan includes everyone. The teachings of the Gospel of Jesus Christ will help you to deal with them the better way, how to build a strong relashionship between you, and it´s just a matter of time and they will see the fruits and the great blessings of it in you own life. About sealing ceremonies we have materials to explain to our friends who're not members yet, and they can experience a tour in one of our temple gardens, that's a good idea to include them in your temple experiences. If you are a honest seeker of the truth you can be guided by the Holy Spirit how to do a best decision. Best regards from your Brazilian friend. (excuse-me my bad English)
Shalon
2011-03-16 21:24:12
There are many things you can do about the Temple marriage. Many new members have ring ceremonies, hand-fasting, or other ceremonies before or after the temple session. And be easy, just because they haven't joined the church now doesn't mean they won't. They still have your whole life and the afterlife to join. By caring about involving them in your marriage you are helping to soften their hearts right there.
It's very challenging when family members can't attend the temple marriage of a loved one. Many members of the Church, while understanding that the sacredness of the temple space must be preserved by admitting only those who have been properly prepared, nevertheless lament the fact that parents or siblings cannot witness the sacred ordinance. My wife is actually from Brazil; her family couldn't have attended our marriage even if they had been temple prepared because of the high price and difficulty of travel. Consequently, we didn't have to explain the concepts of sacred space and proper temple preparation to my in-laws. Nevertheless, I can certainly empathize with your challenging situation.
In explaining these concepts, it might be helpful to talk about the ancient Jewish temple. There were certain places in those ancient temples where only "clergy" (e.g., the high priest) could enter, because only the high priest had been properly prepared. Mormon temples are in large part modeled after those ancient temples, like the temple of Solomon. In the LDS faith, however, there is no "clergy class." All members can, in a certain sense, be considered clergy, a concept that is more clearly taught in the temple itself. Thus, restricting access to the modern temple to those members of the Church who have been properly prepared is very much analogous to restricting access to the ancient temple's holy of holies to the high priest. Of course, this kind of explanation will not eliminate your family's disappointment at not being able to attend, but it may at least help them understand that the policy has nothing to do with them personally, nor does it reflect on their "worthiness" or personal merit. Of course there are many wonderful, worthy people who are members of other faiths. Temple attendance in this case really is just a question of preparation.
Because some of your family members would be unable to attend your temple wedding if you joined the LDS Church, it's critically important that you involve them in other ways. It would be very appropriate, for example, to have a ring ceremony outside the temple in order to involve your family. It would be great to exchange vows on that occasion as well. Perhaps the bride and groom could also wear a tuxedo/wedding dress.
Your family could also be at the temple on your wedding day if you like. They could wait in the temple foyer while the ordinance is performed. Afterwards, it's tradition to take a lot of family pictures. It would be great to involve your family in that tradition. You can decide for yourself how you'd like to involve all the members of your family.
Even if your family doesn't join the church in this life, I would never give up on the hope that you could one day be sealed to them. Of course it is best to accept the restored gospel in this life, but even after death, we continue to progress and grow spiritually. Those who have died are still capable of conversion and sealing. I believe that most good people will eventually accept the fullness of the gospel, especially people like the members of your family who have already received so many true principles in the Catholic faith.
I hope this answer helps. I'm very excited for you! You're contemplating a very important decision that has the power to transform your life for the better. God be with you as you grow and learn during this important time.