I am a grandmother who is not very religious and raised my son with no religion. My son was baptized about 10 years ago into the mormon church. He has told me a little about the church (no I don’t want to join). But now he has a son (my grandson, yes my son is married to a LDS women too) who is 2. I am starting to realize there is a lot more to the religion then I thought. The Sunday thing floors me. I wanted to take my grand son to the park on Sunday and was told (nicely) that grand son wasn’t aloud to play outside on Sundays. Same thing with going shopping on Sundays. I also have heard alot about food. What other “rules” should I know? Does anyone have any suggestions and help for my husband and I?
7 Responses to “I am a grandmother who is not very religious and raised my s…”
Carlos Cruz
2010-11-13 23:37:40
Hi Anonymous. Many of Pamela's suggestions were not explicitly religious. Hopefully you can find something there to help you. I think discussing this issue with your son will also be very helpful. Best of luck to you.
Pamela Dean Bonta
2010-11-06 14:35:24
Latter-day saints have a lot of different ways of looking at just about every aspect of life that is sometimes different from society in general. So, it's understandable that you would have some confusion and frustration when suggesting activities where you and your grandson can spend time together. As a general rule, anything that would be considered everyday activities, boisterous play, or would cause someone else to have to work on the sabbath day should be avoided; anything that fosters togetherness, reverence, respect and a sense of who we are could be acceptable. Even then, while some things are definite no-nos, many things are left up to the discretion of individual members. For example, I rarely change out of my church clothes when meetings are over, but my husband always changes out of his suit into soomething more comfortable. With those things in mind, here are some suggestions that your son may find appropriate:
Instead of going to the park to play, go for a nature walk or walk through a cemetery where loved ones are buried while telling their life stories.
Instead of shopping on Sunday, shop on saturday for quiet craft activities that you can do with your grandson on Sunday. Not all would be appropriate, but anything to do with scriptures, learning about God and Jesus Christ, genealogy or family history should be okay - things like making picture frames, singing or recording gospel songs together, looking through photo albums or copying pictures from them to make scrapbooks should be okay. There are also many 'grandma and me' style make-your-own books that would be appropriate.
Read spiritual books together or play spiritual games together. There are some great spiritual books and websites out there. Livingscriptures is one such site. A search of any LDS book store will yield many children's books and other materials that would be appropriate.
Do service projects together - maybe you could visit the local seniors' home or bake cupcakes for a family that does foster care or make a sabbath day box with quiet activities for a family with young children.
Visit other older relatives and make sure that your grandson knows them and how they are related. Take along a tape recorder or other audio or video recording equipment and record their life stories for posterity.
These are good activities for you to do with your grandson because you don't have to believe in what we believe in order to be able to do them with him. There are even more activities listed elsewhere. Good luck!
Anonymous
2010-11-06 22:37:04
Thou shalt keep the sabbath day holy.. So on Sundays we spend the time with our families, visit the sick or afflicted, offer comfort to them, etc. It's not that we don't do a lot of things on Sunday, it is we do things that don't cause another person to not be able to spend time with their families, or visiting the sick or afflicted, etc..
As per food I would invite you to look up the Word of Wisdom at lds.org for the whole story. In short it is like an instruction for keeping our God-created bodies safe, healthy, free from addictions or vices, manual to live in this life so we can achieve the most good in it.
Science is 'discovering' every-day facts and warnings on different substances people put into their bodies that turn out to do more harm than good in the long run, ie if you choose to smoke, drink alcohol, take drugs, etc. Those actions may prove addictive to you.
Pamela Dean Bonta
2010-11-15 11:54:49
Dear anonymous grandmother,
It's unfortunate that you were unable to find anything that you would consider doing with your grandson from the list I posted. Nothing that was posted was specific to our religion, and many things did not necessarily have a religious connection at all. Yet, all would allow you to spend time with your grandson on the sabbath day while not forcing you to do things you are opposed to nor forcing your son or grandson to compromise their beliefs. Unfortunately, not being the child's parent, you really do have to abide by the wishes of your son when it comes to your grandson. If this continues to be an issue for you, then I might suggest that you reserve time with your grandson on days other than Sunday, when shopping and playing outside align more with your son's wishes.
As for food, latter day saints follow the "Word of Wisdom." The very basics of this simply means not drinking tea, coffee or alcohol, not smoking and not using illegal drugs. I don't see any of these being an issue with your two year old grandson, so it's really not something to worry about right now.
It sounds as though you and your husband should sit down with your son and daughter-in-law and have a heartfelt discussion about ways you can be involved in their and your grandson's lives while respecting their rights to raise their son in the LDS faith. You do not have to agree with what they tell you, but you should strive to support them as they live the lifestyle they have chosen.
Shalon
2011-01-30 22:03:06
Sounds frustrating. You want to spend time with your grandson and your plans keep getting shot down.
Try fun family history stuff. Like visitting other relatives or just telling stories from your childhood in that exciting "kid" voice. It will help you build a loving relationship with your grandson.
It's really parental discretion. It's about the idea that the sabbath day should be for worship, relaxation, and family building.
I know lots of people who do have fun family-based activities outside in parks on Sundays. But always with the whole family, or not at all.
As for food? A lot? We only have a few LDS rules about food. No coffee, tea, or alcohol, and no tobacco. All other food is fair game religion-wise.
Elder Moxley
2010-11-06 15:28:48
There's a good page that explains these rules or the basic commandments here on this site. On mormon.org is another listing of the commandments that we strive to obey to put our lives in harmony with the teachings of Jesus Christ and his modern prophets. On mormon.org you can also chat live with a church representative and ask questions about how we follow these rules.
Anonymous
2010-11-11 22:17:05
Thanks for the suggestions Pamela but as I stated before I am not religious and want no involvement in it.
- Instead of going to the park to play, go for a nature walk or walk through a cemetery where loved ones are buried while telling their life stories.
- Instead of shopping on Sunday, shop on saturday for quiet craft activities that you can do with your grandson on Sunday. Not all would be appropriate, but anything to do with scriptures, learning about God and Jesus Christ, genealogy or family history should be okay - things like making picture frames, singing or recording gospel songs together, looking through photo albums or copying pictures from them to make scrapbooks should be okay. There are also many 'grandma and me' style make-your-own books that would be appropriate.
- Read spiritual books together or play spiritual games together. There are some great spiritual books and websites out there. Livingscriptures is one such site. A search of any LDS book store will yield many children's books and other materials that would be appropriate.
- Do service projects together - maybe you could visit the local seniors' home or bake cupcakes for a family that does foster care or make a sabbath day box with quiet activities for a family with young children.
- Visit other older relatives and make sure that your grandson knows them and how they are related. Take along a tape recorder or other audio or video recording equipment and record their life stories for posterity.
These are good activities for you to do with your grandson because you don't have to believe in what we believe in order to be able to do them with him. There are even more activities listed elsewhere. Good luck!As per food I would invite you to look up the Word of Wisdom at lds.org for the whole story. In short it is like an instruction for keeping our God-created bodies safe, healthy, free from addictions or vices, manual to live in this life so we can achieve the most good in it.
Science is 'discovering' every-day facts and warnings on different substances people put into their bodies that turn out to do more harm than good in the long run, ie if you choose to smoke, drink alcohol, take drugs, etc. Those actions may prove addictive to you.
It's unfortunate that you were unable to find anything that you would consider doing with your grandson from the list I posted. Nothing that was posted was specific to our religion, and many things did not necessarily have a religious connection at all. Yet, all would allow you to spend time with your grandson on the sabbath day while not forcing you to do things you are opposed to nor forcing your son or grandson to compromise their beliefs. Unfortunately, not being the child's parent, you really do have to abide by the wishes of your son when it comes to your grandson. If this continues to be an issue for you, then I might suggest that you reserve time with your grandson on days other than Sunday, when shopping and playing outside align more with your son's wishes.
As for food, latter day saints follow the "Word of Wisdom." The very basics of this simply means not drinking tea, coffee or alcohol, not smoking and not using illegal drugs. I don't see any of these being an issue with your two year old grandson, so it's really not something to worry about right now.
It sounds as though you and your husband should sit down with your son and daughter-in-law and have a heartfelt discussion about ways you can be involved in their and your grandson's lives while respecting their rights to raise their son in the LDS faith. You do not have to agree with what they tell you, but you should strive to support them as they live the lifestyle they have chosen.
Try fun family history stuff. Like visitting other relatives or just telling stories from your childhood in that exciting "kid" voice. It will help you build a loving relationship with your grandson.
It's really parental discretion. It's about the idea that the sabbath day should be for worship, relaxation, and family building.
I know lots of people who do have fun family-based activities outside in parks on Sundays. But always with the whole family, or not at all.
As for food? A lot? We only have a few LDS rules about food. No coffee, tea, or alcohol, and no tobacco. All other food is fair game religion-wise.