Hey I am about to be baptized and I will be marrying my fiance (who was baptized in 2001) later this year. We have a son. I was wondering if you have any suggestions on how to handle grandparents who are not Mormon and have no interest in our faith? (i.e. Words of wisdom, not doing things on Sundays, etc) they just don’t seem to want to listen to what we say. We have sat down and talked about things religious and everyday things we want done but they just don’t seem to follow what we ask. Any suggestions?

Anonymous,



2 Responses to “Hey I am about to be baptized and I will be marrying my fian…”


Lucas Bravo
2010-04-24 05:29:18
Hi friend. Congratulations on your pending baptism and marriage! My goodness, what a lot of exciting changes are going on in your life right now! Many people reach out to God the most when they are undergoing significant changes in their lives. Marriage is certainly an example of that kind of change. I think it's great that you're starting your marriage off on the right foot, trying to provide a good religious upbringing for your child.

It's very difficult when family members don't fully appreciate the importance that their Mormon relatives place on living the Mormon lifestyle. Many don't realize that being Mormon is not just belonging to a religion. It comes with a whole host of cultural practices that are dear to every Mormon's heart. Perhaps it would be helpful to explain to the grandparents that your Mormonism constitutes belonging to a unique transnational, transracial, and, to an extent, transcultural ethnic group. Perhaps if grandparents saw your Mormonism as an ethnic identity rather than merely as a religious identity, they would better appreciate how dear things like the Word of Wisdom and keeping the Sabbath day holy really are to you.

Of course Mormons don't usually think of themselves as belonging to a distinct ethnicity, and certainly they are different than most ethnic groups in that the Mormon identity is not tied to nationality or race, but many scholars do see Mormons as a distinct ethnic community. For example, there are 12 pages dedicated to Mormonism in the Harvard Encyclopedia of American Ethnic Groups.

As the scholar Eugene England once explained, "As an increasing number of prominent non-Mormon scholars such as Thomas O'Dea, Harold Bloom, and Martin Marty have noted, Mormons are, in important ways, an ethnic people, like Jews or Native Americans: They have characteristic and interesting, even richly varied, folklore, customs, cultural history, anthropology, literature and art."

I hope these suggestions help! Hopefully others will have some useful comments as well. Best of luck.
Richard
2010-04-17 23:27:04
Pray for them. I'm in a simalar situation where I ask very simple things for an x-spouse to do concerning our children, and depending on her mood she'll comply or not.

Pray also for yourself to be blessed with patience toward them and leave it in God's hands for the rest.

Teach your kids the best you know how, seek priesthood counsel/advice in the area's you're not sure over, and in the end God will judge righteously for all of your sakes.

Best of luck and sorry there isn't a more clear answer, that I know of, which doesn't involve legal proceedings.

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