What should be done when a sealed couple falls out of love? One of them has left the church and has fallen in love with another person. Even though he hasn’t done anything with this person, he thinks about her constantly. The wife, after a time, also feels attracted to another person. Is it possible to save a marriage where there is no love?
3 Responses to “What should be done when a sealed couple falls out of love? …”
Ricardo Campos
2010-03-29 05:38:08
Hi friend. Thanks for visiting my site. A sealing is a sacred commitment between a man, a woman, and God. Simply falling out of love is not a good reason to end a sealing. Attractions and interests felt for other people should not be nurtured, and compromising situations should be entirely avoided. There are occasions when divorce is acceptable and even needful, such as cases of abuse or unrepentant infidelity, but the sealing bond should be stronger than mere marriage for the sake of convenience.
Often times a married person cannot control what a spouse does. The spouse may choose to sin, leaving his partner feeling rejected and unappreciated, but remember that we are only responsible for our own choices. If we do our best even in difficult situations, God will bless us in the end, even if our spouse continues down the wrong path.
I recommend that you talk with your bishop about these problems. Perhaps you and your spouse could visit him together. A professional marriage counselor might also be able to help you. I also suggest that you talk with your spouse about the challenges you're facing and the problems his church inactivity are causing. Perhaps it would be beneficial to explain that you're starting to think about divorce, but that those thoughts bother you. Explain that you'd like to save the marriage if possible. Best of luck to you, friend. May God bless you and your marriage.
Michael
2010-03-29 17:03:50
One of the mistakes very many married people make is to believe that a person 'falls in love' or 'falls out of love'.
Yes, there is usually a strong romantic attraction at the beginning of a relationship that leads a couple to marriage. However, it is the responsibility of each spouse to nurture that attraction only for their spouse since the marriage can easily fail when not nourished.
Love is a choice that must be made in the beginning of a marriage, and spouses must remember the choice daily by doing things to help love grow.
The choice to work hard to save and keep a marriage intact does require commitment by both spouses, however one spouse working alone to nurture the marriage can go a long ways to persuading the other spouse and possibly saving the marriage. I can tell you from personnel experience with my marriage that with God's help this is possible.
Choose to love your spouse. Remember "love is a choice".
Falling in love/falling out of love and loving someone are different experiences. You can be happily married without ever having "fallen in love" with your mate but in my experience you can't have a happy marriage unless you really love your companion with what some have termed agape type love. Romantic love-the falling in love type of love- can occur with different people and is transitory. But the agape type love you must develop in order to have a successful and happy marriage will require much work, sacrifice and selflessness. You may have experienced both types of love with your mate- if so count yourself twice blessed. In the current situation the parties must realize that the romantic attachment that each feels for other people will pass and that most likely they will regret not having worked things out with their former spouse.
Often times a married person cannot control what a spouse does. The spouse may choose to sin, leaving his partner feeling rejected and unappreciated, but remember that we are only responsible for our own choices. If we do our best even in difficult situations, God will bless us in the end, even if our spouse continues down the wrong path.
I recommend that you talk with your bishop about these problems. Perhaps you and your spouse could visit him together. A professional marriage counselor might also be able to help you. I also suggest that you talk with your spouse about the challenges you're facing and the problems his church inactivity are causing. Perhaps it would be beneficial to explain that you're starting to think about divorce, but that those thoughts bother you. Explain that you'd like to save the marriage if possible. Best of luck to you, friend. May God bless you and your marriage.
Yes, there is usually a strong romantic attraction at the beginning of a relationship that leads a couple to marriage. However, it is the responsibility of each spouse to nurture that attraction only for their spouse since the marriage can easily fail when not nourished.
Love is a choice that must be made in the beginning of a marriage, and spouses must remember the choice daily by doing things to help love grow.
I recommend that the couple read Agency and Love in Marriage by elder Lynn G. Robbins of the seventy.
The choice to work hard to save and keep a marriage intact does require commitment by both spouses, however one spouse working alone to nurture the marriage can go a long ways to persuading the other spouse and possibly saving the marriage. I can tell you from personnel experience with my marriage that with God's help this is possible.
Choose to love your spouse. Remember "love is a choice".
I also recommend viewing the movie Fireproof.