We were recently invited to attend a temple wedding and need to renew our recommends. I have a few sins I have not confessed but my husband insists that I am being petty and that the church doesn’t expect me to be perfect. What are the moral consequences if I were to just renew my recommend and omit the confessions?
4 Responses to “We were recently invited to attend a temple wedding and need…”
Jorge Delgado
2009-10-18 20:21:32
Hi friend. It's very difficult to answer this question without knowing the details. On one hand, it is true that neither Christ nor the Church He has established expect us to be perfect. Some members of the Church, because they are so dedicated to doing what is right, feel overwhelmed by even small sins. It would be a mistake to let small things get in the way of temple attendance. Small sins should be resolved directly with God through prayer. Make a commitment not to repeat past mistakes, and move on.
On the other hand, it is certainly true that there are some sins that need to be resolved with the bishop before one is prepared to enter into the temple. Lying about serious sins in a temple recommend interview would be very spiritually damaging to you. It would not be worth it. If you are not prepared to enter into the Lord's house, excuse yourself from your friend's sealing and begin now to get your life in order.
Here are the temple recommend questions. If you can honestly answer these questions appropriately, then I think you'll be fine:
Do you have faith in and a testimony of God the Eternal Father, His Son Christ, and the Holy Ghost?
Do you have a testimony of the Atonement of Christ and of His role as Savior and Redeemer?
Do you have a testimony of the restoration of the gospel in these the latter days?
Do you sustain the President of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints as the Prophet, Seer, and Revelator and as the only person on the earth who possesses and is authorized to exercise all priesthood keys? Do you sustain members of the First Presidency and the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles as prophets, seers, and revelators? Do you sustain the other General Authorities and local authorities of the Church?
Do you live the law of chastity?
Is there anything in your conduct relating to members of your family that is not in harmony with the teachings of the Church?
Do you support, affiliate with, or agree with any group or individual whose teachings or practices are contrary to or oppose those accepted by the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints?
Do you strive to keep the covenants you have made, to attend your sacrament and other meetings, and to keep your life in harmony with the laws and commandments of the gospel?
Are you honest in your dealings with your fellowmen?
Are you a full-tithe payer?
Do you keep the Word of Wisdom?
Do you have financial or other obligations to a former spouse or children? If yes, are you current in meeting those obligations?
If you have previously received your temple endowment: Do you keep the covenants that you made in the temple? Do you wear the garment both night and day as instructed in the endowment and in accordance with the covenant you made in the temple?
Have there been any sins or misdeeds in your life that should have been resolved with priesthood authorities but have not been?
Do you consider yourself worthy to enter the Lord's house and participate in temple ordinances?
Good luck! Let me know if you have any specific follow-up questions.
Pamela Dean
2009-10-18 13:20:42
Dear sister, Please know that what I am about to say to you comes from love. Since you haven't described your sins, I'm just going to assume that they are in fact serious. There are many consequences to what you are proposing to do.
First, there are personal consequences. Lying by omission to a representative of the Lord is not conducive to the spirit or purpose of temples. You would know that you had lied and therefore know that you may not have been worthy to receive a temple recommend.
Second, as your husband is giving you unrighteous counsel that goes against the standards and policies of the church, there are moral implications for him as well, especially concerning the efficacy and power of his priesthood.
Third, there are consequences for your church leadership. You and your husband are not judges in Israel; the bishop is. It is *his* responsibility to determine whether any transgressions are serious. If you were to do this and he found out later that you had lied to him, he could question his ability to act as a servant of the Lord. It could also destroy any trust he has in you and your husband.
Fourth, there are consequences for the couple being sealed. Doctrine and covenants 109:20 says, "... No unclean thing shall be permitted to come into thy house to pollute it." The Lord does not abide with unclean things. If you attend this sacred ceremony - or any other in the house of the Lord - without being worthy/prepared, the spirit of the Lord will not be present. If the couple later found out that you cared more about the appearance of being worthy to be present than the spirit of the Lord being present, it could seriously affect your relationship with them.
Fifth, even the possession of a temple recommend does not mean that we can go to the temple whenever we want. A temple recommend is permission to enter the temple *if we are worthy*. Not just at the the time of the interviews, but at the time of attendance. The temple is the Lord's house of learning. We cannot learn his truths about eternal families during the sealing or any other ceremony if we are not worthy to hear them.
Sixth, there are consequences for those who look to you to be an example, perhaps your children or youth and young adults you have contact with or influence over. Attending a sealing is a privilege, not a right. Only those who are prepared members should attend. When I was sealed in the temple, none of my family could be there because they are not members. A close friend did not attend because he knew that he had transgressed - even though he still held a recommend. Holding a temple recommend does not give anyone the right the attend such a sacred event. It merely grants you the privilege of attending *if* you are worthy.
Finally, I would invite you to read Russell M. Nelson's "Personal Preparation for Temple Blessings," Ensign, may 2001, 32. In part, it says: "Preparation also includes qualification for a temple recommend. Our Redeemer requires that his temples be protected from desecration. No unclean thing may enter his hallowed house. Yet anyone is welcome who prepares well. Each person applying for a recommend will be interviewed by a judge in Israelthe bishopand by a stake president.... Their interviews will assess several vital issues.... They will ask if we are honest, if we are morally clean.... Why are these issues so crucial? Because they are spiritual separators. They help to determine if we truly live as children of the covenant, able to resist temptation from servants of sin. These interviews help to discern if we are willing to live in accord with the will of the true and living God or if our hearts are still set "upon riches and vain things of the world." Such requirements are not difficult to understand. Because the temple is the house of the Lord, standards for admission are set by him. One enters as his guest. To hold a temple recommend is a priceless privilege and a tangible sign of obedience to God and his prophets."
Richard
2009-10-19 00:53:28
Sins or transgressions that are confessed are now in your past. Sins that are covered and kept are now in your future.
Going into the temple unworthily will be a sin that you will need to answer to God, if not your bishop in this life. Plus your bishop will work with you to be free if needed.
If you just want to go as a friend and not actualy attend the cerimony then you wouldn't need a recomend for that, but you could just wait in the foyer of the temple.
Like the webmaster answered before we don't know your sin, but obviously it is something that is bothering you which points that God through the spirit is impressing you to repent of something? Perhaps.
Go talk to your bishop and remember God is quick to forgive the repentent sinner and is quick to come to your help with anything that you may need help with. Don't justify your way into the temple, if it is bothering you enough to ask here then go talk it out and let Christ carry/have the burden.
Evalee Taylor
2009-10-18 15:37:54
I would tell the bishop all -- and let him make the decision. He is the Lord's servant -- and acts in His name -- so come clean on whatever. That is the best way. It may be small and petty, but you will feel better knowing that you are clean and worthy of being in his temple.
On the other hand, it is certainly true that there are some sins that need to be resolved with the bishop before one is prepared to enter into the temple. Lying about serious sins in a temple recommend interview would be very spiritually damaging to you. It would not be worth it. If you are not prepared to enter into the Lord's house, excuse yourself from your friend's sealing and begin now to get your life in order.
Here are the temple recommend questions. If you can honestly answer these questions appropriately, then I think you'll be fine:
- Do you have faith in and a testimony of God the Eternal Father, His Son Christ, and the Holy Ghost?
- Do you have a testimony of the Atonement of Christ and of His role as Savior and Redeemer?
- Do you have a testimony of the restoration of the gospel in these the latter days?
- Do you sustain the President of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints as the Prophet, Seer, and Revelator and as the only person on the earth who possesses and is authorized to exercise all priesthood keys? Do you sustain members of the First Presidency and the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles as prophets, seers, and revelators? Do you sustain the other General Authorities and local authorities of the Church?
- Do you live the law of chastity?
- Is there anything in your conduct relating to members of your family that is not in harmony with the teachings of the Church?
- Do you support, affiliate with, or agree with any group or individual whose teachings or practices are contrary to or oppose those accepted by the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints?
- Do you strive to keep the covenants you have made, to attend your sacrament and other meetings, and to keep your life in harmony with the laws and commandments of the gospel?
- Are you honest in your dealings with your fellowmen?
- Are you a full-tithe payer?
- Do you keep the Word of Wisdom?
- Do you have financial or other obligations to a former spouse or children? If yes, are you current in meeting those obligations?
- If you have previously received your temple endowment: Do you keep the covenants that you made in the temple? Do you wear the garment both night and day as instructed in the endowment and in accordance with the covenant you made in the temple?
- Have there been any sins or misdeeds in your life that should have been resolved with priesthood authorities but have not been?
- Do you consider yourself worthy to enter the Lord's house and participate in temple ordinances?
Good luck! Let me know if you have any specific follow-up questions.First, there are personal consequences. Lying by omission to a representative of the Lord is not conducive to the spirit or purpose of temples. You would know that you had lied and therefore know that you may not have been worthy to receive a temple recommend.
Second, as your husband is giving you unrighteous counsel that goes against the standards and policies of the church, there are moral implications for him as well, especially concerning the efficacy and power of his priesthood.
Third, there are consequences for your church leadership. You and your husband are not judges in Israel; the bishop is. It is *his* responsibility to determine whether any transgressions are serious. If you were to do this and he found out later that you had lied to him, he could question his ability to act as a servant of the Lord. It could also destroy any trust he has in you and your husband.
Fourth, there are consequences for the couple being sealed. Doctrine and covenants 109:20 says, "... No unclean thing shall be permitted to come into thy house to pollute it." The Lord does not abide with unclean things. If you attend this sacred ceremony - or any other in the house of the Lord - without being worthy/prepared, the spirit of the Lord will not be present. If the couple later found out that you cared more about the appearance of being worthy to be present than the spirit of the Lord being present, it could seriously affect your relationship with them.
Fifth, even the possession of a temple recommend does not mean that we can go to the temple whenever we want. A temple recommend is permission to enter the temple *if we are worthy*. Not just at the the time of the interviews, but at the time of attendance. The temple is the Lord's house of learning. We cannot learn his truths about eternal families during the sealing or any other ceremony if we are not worthy to hear them.
Sixth, there are consequences for those who look to you to be an example, perhaps your children or youth and young adults you have contact with or influence over. Attending a sealing is a privilege, not a right. Only those who are prepared members should attend. When I was sealed in the temple, none of my family could be there because they are not members. A close friend did not attend because he knew that he had transgressed - even though he still held a recommend. Holding a temple recommend does not give anyone the right the attend such a sacred event. It merely grants you the privilege of attending *if* you are worthy.
Finally, I would invite you to read Russell M. Nelson's "Personal Preparation for Temple Blessings," Ensign, may 2001, 32. In part, it says: "Preparation also includes qualification for a temple recommend. Our Redeemer requires that his temples be protected from desecration. No unclean thing may enter his hallowed house. Yet anyone is welcome who prepares well. Each person applying for a recommend will be interviewed by a judge in Israelthe bishopand by a stake president.... Their interviews will assess several vital issues.... They will ask if we are honest, if we are morally clean.... Why are these issues so crucial? Because they are spiritual separators. They help to determine if we truly live as children of the covenant, able to resist temptation from servants of sin. These interviews help to discern if we are willing to live in accord with the will of the true and living God or if our hearts are still set "upon riches and vain things of the world." Such requirements are not difficult to understand. Because the temple is the house of the Lord, standards for admission are set by him. One enters as his guest. To hold a temple recommend is a priceless privilege and a tangible sign of obedience to God and his prophets."
Going into the temple unworthily will be a sin that you will need to answer to God, if not your bishop in this life. Plus your bishop will work with you to be free if needed.
If you just want to go as a friend and not actualy attend the cerimony then you wouldn't need a recomend for that, but you could just wait in the foyer of the temple.
Like the webmaster answered before we don't know your sin, but obviously it is something that is bothering you which points that God through the spirit is impressing you to repent of something? Perhaps.
Go talk to your bishop and remember God is quick to forgive the repentent sinner and is quick to come to your help with anything that you may need help with. Don't justify your way into the temple, if it is bothering you enough to ask here then go talk it out and let Christ carry/have the burden.