A few months ago I became interested in the Book of Mormon. I find it fascinating. I was ready to meet with some missionaries, or just to go to the local ward/stake. My wife found out that I have been reading the BOM, researching the LDS church, and copious amounts of BYU TV. Upon doing so she forbid me to have anything to do with the church. She actually stated that she would divorce me if I “turned into a Mormon”. Yet, I still am drawn to study the BOM, the church, and desire to learn more. Have you any advice? Also wanted to let you know that you have a great site! It is very informative and “de-mystifies”, alot of the churches beliefs. Thanks again and God bless you.

Anonymous,



One Response to “A few months ago I became interested in the Book of Mormon. …”


Fernando Ramos
2008-10-12 02:19:48
Dear Rick,

What a challenging situation! It's hard to deny that God's spirit is working in your heart. My wife was baptized seven years ago, and she felt as you do; she practically devoured Church manuals and scriptures. I created a video about her conversion that may interest you. Your situation is more challenging, though, because your wife opposes your interest. It's important to follow the promptings of God's spirit, but it's also important to strengthen your marriage and honor your wife. In my experience, it's much harder to choose between two goods than to choose between good and evil. You face just such a choice between two goods--to follow the spirit or to strengthen your marriage. I don't envy your position!

If I were in your situation, I'd do the following:
  1. Your wife seems to be opposed to you becoming Mormon, but doesn't seem to mind so much if you study Mormonism. As such, I encourage you to study all you can! Reading the Book of Mormon is certainly an excellent start. You may also be interested in other books of Mormon scripture, including The Doctrine and Covenants and the Pearl of Great Price. And, of course, don't neglect the Bible, which also contains God's revealed word. You can also download MP3 files of these scriptures for your MP3 player. You may also be interested in church manuals. I recommend Our Heritage, which teaches the basics of Mormon history, and Gospel Principles, which teaches the basics of Mormon doctrine. Other manuals are also available online. BYUTV, a recently launched international television network, is also a great, albeit unofficial, source of information. YouTube is full of videos that misrepresent Mormonism, but there are some good videos there as well. The Church has an official presence on YouTube. I've also prepared a video crash course on Mormonism that might interest you. You can learn more about Mormon culture through music, both Mormon pop music and the music of the Tabernacle Choir. There are also a number of excellent websites that teach about Mormonism: mormon.org, lds.org, newsroom.lds.org, mormonwiki.com, and fairmormon.org.
  2. As I'm sure you know by now, there are many, many misconceptions about Mormonism. As the webmaster of AllAboutMormons.com, I frequently get emails that illustrate these misconceptions. I've been called a racist, though my wife is black. I've been called a polygamist, though Mormons are possibly the most monogamous demographic in the country. I've even been called a non-Christian, though I've dedicated my life to Christ. Fortunately, the vast majority of Americans recognize that these sorts of misconceptions are not true, but some, especially in certain regions of the country like the South, are still misinformed. Your wife may, through no fault of her own, have picked up on some of those misconceptions. If I thought my spouse were joining a racist, polygamist sect, I might threaten divorce too! If possible, I suggest you calmly sit down with your wife and ask her if she has any misconceptions about Mormons. Tell her you feel God is working on your heart. In subsequent conversations, mention positive things you've learned about Mormonism. Don't overwhelm your wife with Mormon factoids; just casually bring up the topic periodically, trying to dispel misconceptions.
  3. Perhaps most importantly, pray and fast that God will open your wife's heart. Fasting is a practice in which one skips a few meals (usually two) as a way of demonstrating dedication to God over the things of the world. Start your fast with a prayer, asking God to open your wife's heart. Dedicate your fast to her. I know God can touch peoples' hearts, in His own due time.
Good luck, Rick! If there's anything more I can do, don't hesitate to send me an email. If you do ever get to the point where you're ready, feel free to visit with the missionaries or to visit one of our chapels.

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