I have recently gone through repentance (2 years ago) with the help of my bishop and stake president. I still feel bad about my past sins. I was not disciplined in any way. I have felt “clean” until just a couple of months ago, when I started thinking about my past again. We have a new bishop and SP and I am relunctant to talk to them about past transgressions, even though the church has forgiven me. Just don’t want to dredge up past sins that the church has said I have fully repented for. Am I just reluntant to forgive myself? It makes me feel crazy.
5 Responses to “I have recently gone through repentance (2 years ago) with t…”
Anonymous
2008-05-25 23:25:23
Hi I feel you are going through the normal devil attempting to get back the lost sheep that Christ has reclaimed. I wouldn't over stress on this, you're not a bad person the devil just wants you to think you are because that's one of the ways he works.
You are correct in that you don't need to dredge up the details on your past sins, but it's ok to remember that they happened so you can be more wise in the future.
Last, always remember that you are a son of God he loves you beyond anything we know in this life. As Paul put it to the Romans in the KJV New Testament Romans 8:37-39
37 Nay, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him that loved us. 38 for I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, 39 nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our lord.
Kmpos
2008-07-28 05:09:43
Hi: It's quite "normal" to bring back past transgressions, but don't concentrate too much on them as you have already given the necessary steps to repentance. Satan wants us to be miserable, just like him, so he uses our past sins to try to lead us away from the Lord, making us think we're unworthy even though we have repented. Your new bishop and stake president don't need to know the details or even the transgressions you were part of, but you could ask for their counsel about how to abandon those feelings. Trust them, they'll be there for you anytime and anything that bothers you or makes you feel spiritually bad will be well taken care of by them, I know that they're special men who represent the Lord and since the issue was already solved, you don't even need to mention details about the past.
Now a personal experience: there was a time in my life when my past mistakes used to bother me a lot, and reading the Book of Mormon I got to Enos' experience when he hears the voice of the Lord and he forgives his sins. I don't know the passage by heart, but when he hears the voice, he says something like this: "I Enos had been forgiven my sins and knew that God could not lie, so my pain faded away..." This verse taught me a very important lesson "If God has been merciful enough to forgive me...why would I doubt about His forgiveness????? There's no reason to doubt, I was being harder with myself than my Heavenly Father!!!!! And so, my guilt went away and I felt better. The promise of forgiveness when we give the necessary steps to gain the Lord's trust again is real, take advantage of it, I know you'll feel better as you do. :)
Novva
2008-08-25 06:24:56
My friend,
If you went through repentance process and received learder support and guide and you felt clean, then, where is your sin??
Believe me, I know what I'm talking about.
The Lord won't break his promises, he did exactly what he said: you are free from sin!! Because of that you don't have to talk about your past transgressions to anybody, there's nothing to talk about.
Memories will come and go, just to remember you how much your Heavenly Father loves you and how much the Savior has done for you. Don't feel guilty, you were born again with a big difference, now you know and will avoid anything that might put you near to past.
We are not perfect, we'll never be perfect in this life, we are human.
Repentance is real an it's amazing!! Our Father knows that.
Geoff
2008-09-15 07:09:26
The only reason you should remember your sins is so that you do not repeat them.
The shame you feel is really the horror of thinking that a person who loves the Savour and follows his commandments could do such a thing. When I think of the stupid things I have done, I do feel so stupid. The gap between the old you and the new you is getting wider, that is why you feel so crazy.
Satan will continue to tell you that you cannot be forgiven, that once you made a mistake, there is no going back. This is a complete lie. The atonement of the Savior makes / made it possible for you to become clean.
Remember, through repentance, the "Lord remembers (your sins) no more." Yes, we remember our sins, and feel foolish and shameful. We reject Satan's "you cannot ever be clean" falsehood, then give glory to God for our Savior that made it possible to repent.
A guy named Hugh Nibley said "Repentance is the most humiliating experience." He means that courage is required to repent. We go to the Lord and tell him (what he already knows) our sins. This is by definition, humiliating, but not as the world defines it, it is difficult, and we recognize our complete dependence on God and the gap between him and us. But we gain humility. Difficult, yes. It is the process by which we, one sin at a time, become better.
You have repented. You have changed. Go away rejoicing that God loves you. Take strength from the courage you have shown. Stay on the path, and show others the way.
Anonymous
2008-04-12 05:09:30
I read a great article by Elder Uctdorf regarding forgiveness. Basically we are commanded to forgive everyone-including ourselves. I know that it seems hard to do, but remember that the adversary wants you to feel unforgiven and not worthy. No way would your bishop and stake president tell you that you are fully repentant if you weren't remember they represent the Savior. My bishop is awesome and I often talk to him about things from my past that I have repented of..... Thats why he is there. Maybe just tell him that you still feel bad about things and ask for his advice or even a blessing.
You are correct in that you don't need to dredge up the details on your past sins, but it's ok to remember that they happened so you can be more wise in the future.
I would recommend reading Elder Shayne M. Bowen of the seventy's talk entitled - "The atonement can clean, reclaim, and sanctify our lives".... I feel it goes exactly over what you're feeling.
Last, always remember that you are a son of God he loves you beyond anything we know in this life. As Paul put it to the Romans in the KJV New Testament Romans 8:37-39
37 Nay, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him that loved us.
38 for I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come,
39 nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our lord.
Now a personal experience: there was a time in my life when my past mistakes used to bother me a lot, and reading the Book of Mormon I got to Enos' experience when he hears the voice of the Lord and he forgives his sins. I don't know the passage by heart, but when he hears the voice, he says something like this: "I Enos had been forgiven my sins and knew that God could not lie, so my pain faded away..." This verse taught me a very important lesson "If God has been merciful enough to forgive me...why would I doubt about His forgiveness????? There's no reason to doubt, I was being harder with myself than my Heavenly Father!!!!! And so, my guilt went away and I felt better. The promise of forgiveness when we give the necessary steps to gain the Lord's trust again is real, take advantage of it, I know you'll feel better as you do. :)
If you went through repentance process and received learder support and guide and you felt clean, then, where is your sin??
Believe me, I know what I'm talking about.
The Lord won't break his promises, he did exactly what he said: you are free from sin!! Because of that you don't have to talk about your past transgressions to anybody, there's nothing to talk about.
Memories will come and go, just to remember you how much your Heavenly Father loves you and how much the Savior has done for you. Don't feel guilty, you were born again with a big difference, now you know and will avoid anything that might put you near to past.
We are not perfect, we'll never be perfect in this life, we are human.
Repentance is real an it's amazing!! Our Father knows that.
The shame you feel is really the horror of thinking that a person who loves the Savour and follows his commandments could do such a thing. When I think of the stupid things I have done, I do feel so stupid. The gap between the old you and the new you is getting wider, that is why you feel so crazy.
Satan will continue to tell you that you cannot be forgiven, that once you made a mistake, there is no going back. This is a complete lie. The atonement of the Savior makes / made it possible for you to become clean.
Remember, through repentance, the "Lord remembers (your sins) no more." Yes, we remember our sins, and feel foolish and shameful. We reject Satan's "you cannot ever be clean" falsehood, then give glory to God for our Savior that made it possible to repent.
A guy named Hugh Nibley said "Repentance is the most humiliating experience." He means that courage is required to repent. We go to the Lord and tell him (what he already knows) our sins. This is by definition, humiliating, but not as the world defines it, it is difficult, and we recognize our complete dependence on God and the gap between him and us. But we gain humility. Difficult, yes. It is the process by which we, one sin at a time, become better.
You have repented. You have changed. Go away rejoicing that God loves you. Take strength from the courage you have shown. Stay on the path, and show others the way.