I’m 19, an active LDS member, finished my Personal Progress a while ago and I have a calling for almost a year. I strugled with pornography and masturbation since I was about 10 years old, but it all stopped after I got baptized. About 4 months ago, I felt this huge urge and ended up masturbating. I wasn’t thinking about anything improper or something like that, it was like I needed this as a relief for sexual tension or something. I felt realy guilty and ashamed about it, but was afraid to tell the bishop and decided I would only confess to the Lord. After a month, the same thing happened and it has been a cicle since then: I do it, feel guilty, pray and ask for forgiveness and, a month later, do it again. A part of me was never realy sure if I needed to talk to the bishop since I didn’t have lustful thoughts while doing it, but I know it’s wrong and I’m afraid I won’t feel completely free of this sin (therefore, not being able to marry someone in the temple when the time comes) until I confess. I’m afraid if I tell the bishop, I’ll lose my calling, wich I love so much. What should I do? How do I get the courage to tell him? Do you think I’ll lose my calling?
sin
Anonymous,
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One Response to “I’m 19, an active LDS member, finished my Personal…”
Felipe Prado
2017-03-19 18:34:34
A life of sin can be cleansed and changed through the Atonement of Jesus Christ.
Hi sister. Childhood exposure to pornography and its associated challenges can be so difficult to overcome. Good for you for recognizing the need change and trying so hard to make it happen. God will certainly bless you as you work towards repentance.
As you know, pornography use and masturbation are very common, even among our members. Sometimes it can be difficult for the sisters, since many feel these kinds of sins are much less common among women. My own experience answering questions through this site suggests that that's not the case. I'm not telling you this to excuse the seriousness of your sin. I'm telling you this so you understand that you're not alone, and your Bishop is likely helping other brothers and sisters in your ward with similar problems. He'll be happy to help you too.
It's good that you feel guilty in as much as that guilt motivates you to change and improve your life. But don't feel one bit more guilty than that! And don't feel that you yourself are bad. You're a good person doing a bad thing. And through the atonement of Christ, you can become a good person who no longer does that bad thing.
Your Bishop will decide if you need a break from your calling as you deal with overcoming this sin. Talk with him about all your concerns.
I'll leave you with this wonderful quote from the prophet Isaiah: "Come now, and let us reason together, saith the Lord: though your sins be as scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they be red like crimson, they shall be as wool" (Isaiah 1:18).
As you know, pornography use and masturbation are very common, even among our members. Sometimes it can be difficult for the sisters, since many feel these kinds of sins are much less common among women. My own experience answering questions through this site suggests that that's not the case. I'm not telling you this to excuse the seriousness of your sin. I'm telling you this so you understand that you're not alone, and your Bishop is likely helping other brothers and sisters in your ward with similar problems. He'll be happy to help you too.
It's good that you feel guilty in as much as that guilt motivates you to change and improve your life. But don't feel one bit more guilty than that! And don't feel that you yourself are bad. You're a good person doing a bad thing. And through the atonement of Christ, you can become a good person who no longer does that bad thing.
Your Bishop will decide if you need a break from your calling as you deal with overcoming this sin. Talk with him about all your concerns.
I'll leave you with this wonderful quote from the prophet Isaiah: "Come now, and let us reason together, saith the Lord: though your sins be as scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they be red like crimson, they shall be as wool" (Isaiah 1:18).