I feel so confused. I’m in the process of overcoming an addiction. This morning I woke up a little depressed, thinking I should just give in once again. As if, for a brief moment, nothing really mattered.
But I decided not to give in. It took all my efforts, but I did it. It’s just that now I feel bad simply because I wanted to sin. I feel guilty even though I didn’t actually give in.
Is it possible this is all a result of my illness?
A missionary hugging a bishop in Aracaju, Sergipe, Brazil.
Hi brother or sister. It sounds to me like you're struggling with unproductive guilt. Guilt is a gift from God when it motivates us to improve. But, when it comes for no understandable or identifiable reason, it's not true guilt. In these cases, it's become a malicious and destructive tool that people sometimes use, often inadvertently, to harm themselves spiritually.
I see no rational reason why you should feel true guilt. You successfully resisted a temptation caused by your illness. If anything, you should be happy with your dedication despite your challenges.
I hope you get the help you need. Chat with your bishop for emotional and spiritual support. If necessary, seek also a psychologist who understands and honors our Mormon values. I hope this answer helps.
I see no rational reason why you should feel true guilt. You successfully resisted a temptation caused by your illness. If anything, you should be happy with your dedication despite your challenges.
I hope you get the help you need. Chat with your bishop for emotional and spiritual support. If necessary, seek also a psychologist who understands and honors our Mormon values. I hope this answer helps.