I relate to what is written by other inactive members on this site. Although I am not really as active as many church members, I do feel close to God. Although I have areas that need improvement, I know that God is pleased with me.
I just struggle a lot with wanting to be at church. It is extremely boring to me. I also do not feel a connection with the members. The members are very high strung and perfectionistic. As a single parent, I cannot live like they do. My desire to not go to church is not due to any bitterness or resentment, I just don’t enjoy it. I have tried serving in callings and I just feel overwhelmed with all of my other responsibilities as a single parent. I just don’t feel that others understand the lifestyle I live. I just want to be at peace and relax, at least for one day out of the week.
I am so mad at myself for feeling this way. However, I cannot force myself to want to be at church.
One Response to “I relate to what is written by other inactive members….”
Daniel Rios
2014-11-16 20:38:37
Hi sister. I'm happy you posted your comment here. I can tell you're a good person, and I'm not here to criticize. But I am going to speak frankly, in the spirit of wanting to help rather than condemn.
With all due respect (and I mean that sincerely), you need to change the way you see church attendance. I'll tell you a little secret. Sometimes church is boring for me too. I think in some ways the other members don't understand me either. I struggle with insomnia, and often I'd really like to stay home on Sunday mornings to relax too. Not a single one of these things is relevant to my decision to go to church every Sunday. Going to church is mostly about helping other people, sometimes through a calling, sometimes through a friendly interaction.
In your case, your child(ren) might be the "other person" you need to help. How will they gain a testimony of the truth if you don't take them to church? The irony is, if you make going to church more about other people than about yourself, it will end up improving your church experience too.
As I look back on both the religious and secular aspects of my life, I realize that nearly every good and productive thing I've accomplished has been associated with a sacrifice. This is especially true of spiritual things. Sometimes we have to embrace the inconvenient to receive a greater spiritual gift. Going to church whenever possible is a commandment that God has given us, and obeying that commandment brings blessings.
On a side note, if you ever do feel overwhelmed reconciling your duties as a single parent and a member with a calling, talk to your bishop about possible solutions. He might call an assistant to help you or find another calling better suited to your situation. I'm sure he'd be happy to help you.
Being mad at yourself isn't productive. Making the right choice by going to church regularly is productive. Your goal shouldn't be to force yourself to want to be at church. It should be simply to force yourself to be at church. If you go with the right attitude--wanting to bless others including your children in whatever small way you can--the experience will become more enjoyable in time.
I hope this answer helps. I'm certain God loves you very much. He wants you to prepare yourself so you can receive all of His richest blessings. Church attendance should be part of that preparation. I'll pray for you, sister.
With all due respect (and I mean that sincerely), you need to change the way you see church attendance. I'll tell you a little secret. Sometimes church is boring for me too. I think in some ways the other members don't understand me either. I struggle with insomnia, and often I'd really like to stay home on Sunday mornings to relax too. Not a single one of these things is relevant to my decision to go to church every Sunday. Going to church is mostly about helping other people, sometimes through a calling, sometimes through a friendly interaction.
In your case, your child(ren) might be the "other person" you need to help. How will they gain a testimony of the truth if you don't take them to church? The irony is, if you make going to church more about other people than about yourself, it will end up improving your church experience too.
As I look back on both the religious and secular aspects of my life, I realize that nearly every good and productive thing I've accomplished has been associated with a sacrifice. This is especially true of spiritual things. Sometimes we have to embrace the inconvenient to receive a greater spiritual gift. Going to church whenever possible is a commandment that God has given us, and obeying that commandment brings blessings.
On a side note, if you ever do feel overwhelmed reconciling your duties as a single parent and a member with a calling, talk to your bishop about possible solutions. He might call an assistant to help you or find another calling better suited to your situation. I'm sure he'd be happy to help you.
Being mad at yourself isn't productive. Making the right choice by going to church regularly is productive. Your goal shouldn't be to force yourself to want to be at church. It should be simply to force yourself to be at church. If you go with the right attitude--wanting to bless others including your children in whatever small way you can--the experience will become more enjoyable in time.
I hope this answer helps. I'm certain God loves you very much. He wants you to prepare yourself so you can receive all of His richest blessings. Church attendance should be part of that preparation. I'll pray for you, sister.