I need some help. I’m 17 years old, and I have a baby who is 6 months old. Her father and I are both members of the church. I don’t know if we should get married or not. What advice can you guys give me? I really want to do the right thing.
2 Responses to “Should I marry the father of my child?”
Vicente Silva
2014-08-24 12:07:41
Hi sister. I'm happy you posted your question here. This is a difficult situation for sure. You need to act like an adult, even though you yourself are just a teenager. That means you need to focus on your child's needs more than your own. And children generally do best when they have both a mother and a father in their lives.
Each situation needs individual consideration, but adoption is often the best gift that unmarried parents can give their baby. As much as you'd like to keep the child, she will have a better chance of thriving in a more stable home with a married mother and father. Perhaps someone in your family could adopt her so you could continue to play a role in the her life. It's unfortunate that adoption is not more common in Latin America.
If adoption is not an option, you might consider marrying your daughter's father. In making this decision, you need to determine what will be best for your daughter, not what will be best for you. If you believe that you can have a stable, healthy marriage with your boyfriend, that would be great for your daughter. If a marriage between you two would be troubled and unstable, perhaps it wouldn't improve your daughter's life. It's a difficult decision.
Regardless of whether you get married, your daughter's father should be in her life. He should contribute financially and emotionally to her development.
I hope this answer helps! Let me know if you have any more questions. I'm happy to help.
Pamela Bonta
2014-08-25 07:25:28
Members of the Church believe that marriages performed in temples are sealed, or blessed to last for eternity.
The official church position is this: When a child is conceived out of wedlock, the best option is for the mother and father of the child to marry and work toward establishing an eternal family relationship. If a successful marriage is unlikely, they should place the child for adoption, preferably through LDS Family Services.
You and the child's father should talk with both of your sets of parents and ask their advice, decide if the two of you are willing to work towards an eternal marriage or not, and then speak to your Bishop to have him help you make the arrangements for whichever course of action you decide upon.
God bless.
Vicente Silva: Perfect link, Pamela. Thanks for your help!
Each situation needs individual consideration, but adoption is often the best gift that unmarried parents can give their baby. As much as you'd like to keep the child, she will have a better chance of thriving in a more stable home with a married mother and father. Perhaps someone in your family could adopt her so you could continue to play a role in the her life. It's unfortunate that adoption is not more common in Latin America.
If adoption is not an option, you might consider marrying your daughter's father. In making this decision, you need to determine what will be best for your daughter, not what will be best for you. If you believe that you can have a stable, healthy marriage with your boyfriend, that would be great for your daughter. If a marriage between you two would be troubled and unstable, perhaps it wouldn't improve your daughter's life. It's a difficult decision.
Regardless of whether you get married, your daughter's father should be in her life. He should contribute financially and emotionally to her development.
I hope this answer helps! Let me know if you have any more questions. I'm happy to help.
You and the child's father should talk with both of your sets of parents and ask their advice, decide if the two of you are willing to work towards an eternal marriage or not, and then speak to your Bishop to have him help you make the arrangements for whichever course of action you decide upon.
God bless.
Vicente Silva: Perfect link, Pamela. Thanks for your help!